"I'm bored ..."

[Vombatus]

insert an Aunt Jemima bottle up his/her ass so he/she will learn right away not to ever, ever do that again.

Healthcare costs too much to pull that damn thing out.

 

[SpeedTchr]

This escalated quickly.

 

[Vombatus]

This escalated quickly.

Well, I was thinking "plant a garden and watch stuff grow" with your kids.

And then I was thinking "beat the **** out of your kids until they appreciate the finer things of life and respect and do NOT grow up to be participation trophy buttercups".

Then cis came along with that "insert" request and reminded me of a very true X-ray a friend saw in a Boston ER.

 

[swingline]

Well, I was thinking "plant a garden and watch stuff grow" with your kids.

And then I was thinking "beat the **** out of your kids until they appreciate the finer things of life and respect and do NOT grow up to be participation trophy buttercups".

Then cis came along with that "insert" request and reminded me of a very true X-ray a friend saw in a Boston ER.

I've seen gerbils at the pet store, too.

Wait. What?

 

[Dick Whitman]

School isn't even out for another week and the worst words in the English language (especially to a single parent) have already come spilling from my 14-year-old's mouth.

I seriously don't know what to do, and what's worse he doesn't either. He hates being outside and almost all forms of exercise, so parks are out. He used to love bookstores and the library, but now it's just a different location for him to play with his phone. Most of the time he doesn't want to see anything at the movies. He'd rather be shot than go to a baseball game, zoo or aquarium. He has no real passion other than video games and electronics, but once he burns out on those there is no reliable plan B. It certainly doesn't help that I don't live anywhere near his friends from school or church, and he's a decided introvert and homebody anyway.

Did I mention that whatever I come up with to amuse him (or at least pass the time) also needs to entertain his 5-year-old sister, who has the exact opposite personality? And it probably goes without saying, but Daddy Is Not Made Of Money.

Help.

My two are almost 8 (boy) and 4 (girl). I can't exactly offer advice at this stage, but I know I'm already cognizant of these challenges, raising kids in this era. The other problem is that while I'm a crackling ball of energy to a fault, and would spend every waking moment outdoors, Mrs. Whitman can be a bit of a couch potato. She's a teacher, and her job has always just beat the crap out of her. I guess she's more practical, too. Whereas I will blow off tasks like laundry and dishes to watch the grill or go on a bike ride or shoot some baskets in the driveway, she's ferociously on task. Anyway, I often feel like I have to drag the kids outdoors on the weekends. The default is always to stay inside and vegetate in front of a screen. It can be a knock-down, drag-out to even get them to change out of pajamas. It's exhausting.

My girl is stubborn as an ox and still has fits at her precocious age, so I often lose that battle, though I can drag the boy outside at least. My aunt gives the 4-year-old a ****ing phone to watch during the week (she watches her every day), even on the five-minute drive to preschool, and it pisses me off to no end.

Anyway, I feel for you already. Not to be the "get off my lawn" guy, but it's unbelievable how much effort we have to put into keeping these kids entertained in this day and age. I'm actually working on taking a significant paycut to work much closer to home, and a big reason is so that I can keep a boot in their ass more hours of the day to do something.

 

[Buck]

We've got twin 18-month-old boys and a newborn.
I'm a fascist when it comes to schedule with the toddlers. Meals, milk, naps, bath and bed - we try to stick to the schedule.
As a result we get very little in way of tantrums and other oppositional behavior.
Could change over time, but it is working for now.

And we have a zero screen approach for now. We might let have some screen time w/us at 2. We are still considering.

Right now, they love to go outside. 'Outside' is one of the words they both say relentlessly.
We make sure they get out in the yard when we get home after work, but it doesn't always work out time-wise.
They get out on the weekends, though.

I'm pretty much a fascist dad, so my plan for now is, when they are older, I'm going to tell them 'Go play outside.'
Hopefully, enculturating them that early will carry down the line as the age.

 

[Dick Whitman]

And we have a zero screen approach for now. We might let have some screen time w/us at 2. We are still considering.

That would be our approach, too, if it were up to me. It seems that other people, particularly grandmothers and great aunts, love to pump kids with screens and sugar.

Right now, they love to go outside. 'Outside' is one of the words they both say relentlessly.
We make sure they get out in the yard when we get home after work, but it doesn't always work out time-wise.
They get out on the weekends, though.

I'm pretty much a fascist dad, so my plan for now is, when they are older, I'm going to tell them 'Go play outside.'
Hopefully, enculturating them that early will carry down the line as the age.

Mine - especially the boy - seem to love it once they are actually out there. We'll play soccer in the yard, basketball, baseball, corn hole, whatever. We also have a playground in walking distance.

It's just getting them out there to begin with that's the challenge. And they also won't play by themselves. I have to guide the activity, usually.

But if they want to be vampires, they can do it in college or afterward. Living under my roof, you're going to get some mosquito bites.