I want a dog

[UNCGrad]

So, in early August, we had to say goodbye to the best dog, the best beagle that ever was, Barkley. I'm near 50 and it damn near - actually, it did - break my heart. I miss my guy so, so much. He really was a best friend.

I swore off dogs after that because it's too goddam hard. They're too good and give so much and only last for so long. Barkley loved us for 15 years so we were incredibly lucky. But I ****ing hate saying goodbye.

Five months later, here I am. I'm drawn to this wonderful local rescue shelter which takes in strays and everything else and has a 2-year-old beagle whose photo melts my heart. He's being fostered.

The thing is, our life is good. We don't wait on anything and don't have to rush home for anyone or anything at night when we go out. My daughter is graduating college and out of the house. We're finally truly living as real happy empty nesters in a new build that we bought this year, and love the little town we're in..

And yet, here I am looking at this little guy's adoption criteria. For all I know, he's a holy terror who chews everything in sight.

What the hell do I do? I don't think my lovely wife is on board. And it may be too soon for her. She loved our Barkley more than anyone. Goddam, he loved her, too.

But I want to rescue this little guy.

Please advise.

 

[BurnsWhenIPee]

Get him.

We had rescues all while our kids were growing up, and they are out of the house now. But the rescues will always have a spot in our home. Limit of 2 at a time, though.

I'm convinced that rescues know that you saved their life and love you that much more for it.

Not sure who said it first, but read something along the lines of, "People give dogs the extra time and attention that they can give, at the end of the day and on weekends, when it's convenient. Dogs give people every single ounce of love in their hearts, all day and every day. It's the most lopsided trade of all time."

Just thinking of that puts a lump in my throat.

 

[Songbird]

Get a big dog with long hair.

 

[TigerVols]

Our dog-child, Mocha, crossed the rainbow bridge in 2013. This past September we finally adopted another puppy and all I can say is we regret waiting so long; Marigold has been the best thing to happen to our family in a long time.

 

[Sam Mills 51]

Talk with your wife and let her know how you feel. I don't dispute BurnsWhenIPee's post at all ... but if the new puppy chews on stuff or isn't a dream acquisition from the moment the new bundle of joy is brought home, your wife will need to be on your side. Is she ready for a new family member? Will she help with training and adjustments? Not asking her could mean she might not be as patient and willing, and a new pet needs everyone on board and all the trust and patience in the world.

Maybe your wife is ready for another pet to fill the massive void caused by Barkley's loss. I can't prove anything and don't wish to be presumptive, but I have to believe that - based on what you have posted - if your wife isn't yet ready that she would give you some sort of indication of when she will. I can't speak from the POV of someone married (insert spit takes here given my track record), but her being on board will be better for all involved.

Good luck. Take care.

 

[micropolitan guy]

I did not want another dog after one of 14 years died in 2020. I fought it but my wife won out in fall, 2021.

Eight weeks old, six months of hell and I wanted to get rid of her at least once every day. Now of course I adore her and can't imagine a day without her. Best dog we've ever had, plays and plays, wants to be around us, will ride in the car all day without complaint and plays great with other dogs.

Dogs are a gift. They love you unconditionally and only want you to love them in return.

 

[I Should Coco]

Most animal shelters will let you meet a potential pet before you adopt it. Not sure if that works for a dog that’s being fostered, but if you can arrange it, might help reassure you and your wife that the dog isn’t a holy terror.

We’ve had five adopted dogs dating back to when the kids were in grade school — more than 15 years ago. We adopt older dogs so we don’t have to housebreak them, and until dog No. 4 there were years they overlapped, with two dogs at a time.

The fourth one, Molly, was not good with other dogs but was great with people. We adopted her as a 5-year-old (estimated) and had her for eight years before she died of cancer. It was very tough to take, especially since both kids were out of the house.

We went about six months and then my shop did a news story about how the local humane society was jam packed with animals. We weren’t sure if we were ready to adopt again, but then we met Lily, an 8-year-old husky mix. She’s been with us a year and a half now and has been a great addition to the house.

 

[BTExpress]

Every flow chart I have ends with "ADOPT!"

We just had to have one cat's front leg amputated last month, and on Sunday we adopted two kittens on our 16th anniversary.

Our zoo today:

 

[BurnsWhenIPee]

Our most recent rescue was a little puppy who joined us from a foster parent, and apparently had gone through trial periods with about 6 other people, and they all rejected her because she was so wild and chaotic.

We went through a one-week trial, and then decided to take on the challenge. When we told the foster parent we wanted her permanently, she was shocked.

It took a few months of constant supervision (thanks for WFH, Covid!), but she settled down great and is a perfect family member now. This foster parent texts us on her adoption anniversary every year, asking how she is and requesting current photos.

There were some challenging moments, but I cannot imagine our life without her.

 

[Scout]

Go through a rescue that will give you an idea of the behavior of the dog from the foster family.

And get another dog.

 

[playthrough]

Get the beagle!

We lost our 14-year-old beagle during the pandemic and I'll never get over it (long story short, he got out and got into traffic), then we replaced him with our "pandemic puppy" doodle, a totally great pooch, but my family knows I can't leave this mortal coil without one more beagle.

 

[dixiehack]

I’m the pet-free guy. Deep in my heart I know I always will be. But if having a dog brings you both joy, get a dog. Both is an important word though.

 

[qtlaw]

I’m a dog lover; I ask everyone I happen on if I can say hi to their pooch. We’ve got two great ones at home, a 13 yr Aussie and 2 yr rescue from Taiwan. Dogs are fantastic and inject unbelievable love and joy into your life.

BUT, it takes commitment and sacrifices. If your wife isn’t on board, it’s not going to go well. Resentment can build fast. You have to plan for your absences, no “let’s just GO!!”

You already know these things just want to remind you because if my wife wasn’t on board, I know it would be bad for the dog and my marriage.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[Amy]

The breeder of two of mine has often told me, you get the dog you are supposed to have. If you don't get this dog, it's OK, there's another one out there that is your dog.

I spent about a year talking to breeders about their litters. Twice I visited litters and came close to getting a puppy, but something held me back each time even though I knew the breeders wouldn't be happy about my decision. Then by accident I learned about a litter near Chicago with the same father as my now oldest dog. The sire has died and the litter was from frozen semen and likely the last Taylor litter. I had zero doubts that I wanted one of these puppies. I brought him home and four weeks later learned Gadget has kidney disease and will die in 2025. I turned down many wonderful puppies but ended up with Gadget's half brother, the puppy I was supposed to have.

My feeling is if your wife isn't ready, this isn't the dog for your family. But the dog that's supposed to be your dog is out there when she is, when you both are.

(Also, consider contacting your local beagle rescue organization when the time is right.)

 

[UNCGrad]

Y'all are all good people. Thanks for these, and each answer. We're still considering and communicating, which is good.

 

[BitterYoungMatador2]

We rescued a purebred Bichon and Yorkie from an older woman in July, 2022. I didn't think it was a great idea because our lives are already so hectic. I fell in love with both dogs but the Bichon was my favorite because she was just so damned happy and loving. We found a lump on her ribcage in September, was diagnosed as bone cancer in October and she trucked through until we lost her December 10th. I had hoped she would make it until the kids came home from college to say goodbye (they were really instrumental in begging us to take these dogs) but she couldn't.

I can't talk about this dog without starting to get emotional. I went and picked up her remains at the vets and just the finality of that wooden box on my passenger seat broke me up.

I'd do another Bichon in a heartbeat. They're needy as all hell but I wish I woke up as happy as they do -- or at least this one did.

 

[micropolitan guy]

If you get a male dog and it doesn't bark you should name it Sam.

 

[BurnsWhenIPee]

Lump in my throat, BYM2.

Before we got back to our current 2-dog setup, we had a beagle mix that was 15-plus years old, and toward the end, he had no quality of life. He would be walking across the kitchen floor, and would start ****ting without knowing it was happening. He'd stop and turn around, then look around like, "Who took a crap here?" He'd be walking and his legs would go out from under him without warning. But my God he was a sweet boy.

My wife and I were prepping to have the talk with our kids, who were something like 18 and 16 at the time. Before we could, our 16-year-old daughter came to us and said she thinks it's time to take him in. And she insisted on being the one to take him in (he was a gift for her when she was about 4 years old). We gave her a blank check to pay for it, and she went and held him in her lap when they gave him the injection.

Just thinking about that, and how that was a pretty big indicator of her maturity level, and level of compassion to know that was the best thing for him and wanting to be the one who was with him and comforting him in his final moments, leaves me in shambles.

I joke with her that she was just practicing for when she takes me in for the same appointment. At least that makes us laugh through the tears.

 

[BitterYoungMatador2]

Lump in my throat, BYM2.

Before we got back to our current 2-dog setup, we had a beagle mix that was 15-plus years old, and toward the end, he had no quality of life. He would be walking across the kitchen floor, and would start ****ting without knowing it was happening. He'd stop and turn around, then look around like, "Who took a crap here?" He'd be walking and his legs would go out from under him without warning. But my God he was a sweet boy.

My wife and I were prepping to have the talk with our kids, who were something like 18 and 16 at the time. Before we could, our 16-year-old daughter came to us and said she thinks it's time to take him in. And she insisted on being the one to take him in (he was a gift for her when she was about 4 years old). We gave her a blank check to pay for it, and she went and held him in her lap when they gave him the injection.

Just thinking about that, and how that was a pretty big indicator of her maturity level, and level of compassion to know that was the best thing for him and wanting to be the one who was with him and comforting him in his final moments, leaves me in shambles.

I joke with her that she was just practicing for when she takes me in for the same appointment. At least that makes us laugh through the tears.

We were trying for a similar moment but ran out of time.

My wife was Snuggles favorite, which make sense since it was her that pulled the trigger and brought her to our house. They practically got up with the sunrise, and when it was my turn on the weekend to take them for a walk to let my wife sleep in, I’d unleash her and she would run right back up two flights of stairs and up right back in bed with her.

The night before she died was rough. She laid next to me in bed whimpering in pain all night while looking right at me. I stayed with her as much as I could and pet her but you feel so ****ing hopeless. I nudged my wife, who was already awake and said, “I think it’s time to make the appointment.” She called the next day and scheduled it for a few days later.

The next night, Snuggles woke my wife up around 4 am just to be pet and then an hour later got anxious to go outside. She went outside and laid in the grass with a happy look on her face. When she brought her back in, she took her last breath as my wife was drying her off.

I hated losing our dog but was so glad it could happen in her favorite person with her. We had such huge fears she would die alone while we were at work, which is such a sad way to go for a dog who so loved when we got home and so hated when we were putting our shoes on to leave.

 

[MileHigh]

I had my beagle just short of 16 years. Just a great boy. Two years later, at the insistence of a friend, I finally caved and got another dog, a terrier mix who was a rescue and who has a ton of energy. Still does at 9 years old, but I got him just after the 2017 eclipse and a month before the plane crash. He's the most friendly dog, always bouncing, always wanting to be pet or held on your lap. He was really good in the aftermath of the crash with so many people being around him and his energy. I'm glad I got him. He's always happy, always energetic.