Having trouble getting my focus

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huntsie

Active Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2004
Messages
1,055
City & State/Province
Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada
Or maybe I just need to write this down and get it out. Here goes.
Got a call Saturday morning from a good friend of ours.
"I want you to write a very short death notice for me," she said.
Her little granddaughter -- who would have been two months old the next day -- had died of SIDS the night before.
The mother, a girl a year older than my daughter, a girl I had known since she was five years old, had gone in to feed her and found her cold in her crib.
They were devastated of course. We went to the grandmother's house where family was gathered and the grandmother was amazingly strong, because she had to be.
We went to the funeral home for visitation yesterday. An open casket, about the size of a dresser drawer. The little girl looked perfect. She looked like a porcelain doll. It hurt so much to see her, and to see this girl, the mother, so racked with grief. The grandmother too.
I've had trouble getting any focus or giving a damn about anything in the world of play, and I suspect I will for a while. It's just not important, and I don't know if or when it will be.
If you have any advice, I'm listening.
And even if you don't...thanks for listening and being here.
It's been hard to get
 
You've had to write about too much tragic death this year. My heart goes out to you, huntsie. Be strong.
 
I got nothing in the way of advice. But I feel for you, and there are lots of people here happy to listen any time you need to vent. The first chance you get to step away from work, it may help to give yourself permission to grieve.
 
huntsie said:
Or maybe I just need to write this down and get it out. Here goes.
Got a call Saturday morning from a good friend of ours.
"I want you to write a very short death notice for me," she said.
Her little granddaughter -- who would have been two months old the next day -- had died of SIDS the night before.
The mother, a girl a year older than my daughter, a girl I had known since she was five years old, had gone in to feed her and found her cold in her crib.
They were devastated of course. We went to the grandmother's house where family was gathered and the grandmother was amazingly strong, because she had to be.
We went to the funeral home for visitation yesterday. An open casket, about the size of a dresser drawer. The little girl looked perfect. She looked like a porcelain doll. It hurt so much to see her, and to see this girl, the mother, so racked with grief. The grandmother too.
I've had trouble getting any focus or giving a damn about anything in the world of play, and I suspect I will for a while. It's just not important, and I don't know if or when it will be.
If you have any advice, I'm listening.
And even if you don't...thanks for listening and being here.
It's been hard to get

That's horrible, Huntsie.

I don't have sage advice for you, but if you need anything specific, feel free to ask here or pm.
 
so sad. a friend's baby girl died of that about a year and a half ago. it was tough to see my friend go through that cause we have been friends for a long time and we have always been there for each other. the baby's dad wasnt in the picture, so i was one of the first ones to know she was pregnant. stayed at the hospital with her until she went home. but i couldnt imagine doing what was asked of you, huntsie. good luck.
 
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