"Guess Heaven Needed a X" rant

[Eagles1 in London]

Read somewhere today that "Heaven Needed a Tenor". Apparently Heaven needed a shortstop a couple weeks ago too.

Can we ****ing stop with this horrible saying? Heaven doesn't need ****. Celebrities get old, or they get sick, and they die. Just like us. A little while back, my mother called to tell me the guy who lived next door to me when i was growing up had just died. Nobody said "guess Heaven needed a mechanic". Maybe they just don't drive cars there and instead walk to all the operas and baseball games that apparently happen so often that God is plucking retired celebrities left and right.

sorry, but it just bugs me--rant over.

 

[imjustagirl2]

A little while back, my mother called to tell me the guy who lived next door to me when i was growing up had just died. Nobody said "guess Heaven needed a mechanic". Maybe they just don't drive cars there and instead walk to all the operas and baseball games that apparently happen so often that God is plucking retired celebrities left and right.

That just made me laugh out loud. Really hard.

 

[spnited]

Amen, Eagle!

 

[PCLoadLetter]

Why exactly would heaven have a sudden need for a tenor, anyway? Had Enrico Caruso suddenly been reincarnated as a shetland pony, leaving a tenor opening in heaven?

 

[SixToe]

Heaven doesn't need mechanics. Angels float and magically appear.

 

[Bubbler]

Heaven needed a rant like this. Top drawer.

 

[Jones]

All I know is, when I get up there, Heaven will have immediate openings for some whores, a couple of the Keebler elves, and a hydroponic gardener.

 

[Bob Cook]

 

[Chef]

Read somewhere today that "Heaven Needed a Tenor". Apparently Heaven needed a shortstop a couple weeks ago too.

Can we ****ing stop with this horrible saying? Heaven doesn't need ****. Celebrities get old, or they get sick, and they die. Just like us. A little while back, my mother called to tell me the guy who lived next door to me when i was growing up had just died. Nobody said "guess Heaven needed a mechanic". Maybe they just don't drive cars there and instead walk to all the operas and baseball games that apparently happen so often that God is plucking retired celebrities left and right.

sorry, but it just bugs me--rant over.

scoreboard.

Cheers, Eagle.

 

[Bubbler]

Heaven needed a tenor. Hell needed Yes, Giorgio.

Good Lord. It looks like the Last Tango In Paris poster gone horribly wrong. Methinks that rose is going to find an unfortunate home.

 

[John]

 

[Walter_Sobchak]

 

[Ace]

All I know is, when I get up there, Heaven will have immediate openings for some whores, a couple of the Keebler elves, and a hydroponic gardener.

So you'll have fresh veggies, have the ***** bake treats ... what the hell are you gonna do with the Keebler elves, Mr. Sicko?

 

[Killick]

Don't ask, don't tell, Ace.

 

[poindexter]

Read somewhere today that "Heaven Needed a Tenor". Apparently Heaven needed a shortstop a couple weeks ago too.

Can we ****ing stop with this horrible saying? Heaven doesn't need ****. Celebrities get old, or they get sick, and they die. Just like us. A little while back, my mother called to tell me the guy who lived next door to me when i was growing up had just died. Nobody said "guess Heaven needed a mechanic". Maybe they just don't drive cars there and instead walk to all the operas and baseball games that apparently happen so often that God is plucking retired celebrities left and right.

sorry, but it just bugs me--rant over.

Your old mechanic neighbor couldn't hack it in heaven as a mechanic, with all the new cars with their do-hickeys and computers in the engines and whatnot. He's been transferred to picking up dog **** in the Lassie section of heaven.

 

[zeke12]

When I leave this board, I'm starting a "Guess heaven needed ATM jokes" thread.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

On the other hand, heaven must be missing an angel.

 

[BYH]

This is awesome.

 

[terrier]

Dig out that Passengers album and cue up "Miss Sarajevo."

 

[StormSurge]

At least the mechanic or anyone else who left us didn't start a thread about it.

EDIT - It looks like my attempt at humor was a few minutes late. Oops.