"Face" "almost reduced to tears" on Celebrity Big Brother

[Perry White]

http://www.sundaymirror.co.uk/news/tm_headline=now-girls-gang-up-on-the-face-&method=full&objectid=18508217&siteid=62484-name_page.html (includes bikini picture, SFW?)

The Face's problems started after he flirted with Shilpa. Dirk, who had not showered for four days, came out of the bathroom saying how nice he smelt.
...
She then sidled up to Jo in the bedroom whispering that Dirk was a "bad sport". Bitchy Jo - who along with Jade and Danielle hounded Shilpa - replied: "He's a miserable old man."
...
She added: "Can you imagine if we all get drunk and terrorise him? If we get him paralytic he will go on the turn. I think that would be really funny."
...
But Shilpa broke away from the group to console Dirk in the garden. As they sat on the bench, she asked: "Are you upset? Are your eyes watering? They are just bored and don't know what to do." Looking close to the edge, Dirk said: "That's no excuse. It's so insulting and the lacking respect. It's so vulgar."

He has 8-1 odds to win the competition.

Dirk's grand entrance (scroll to 1:20):

 

[Football_Bat]

****abuncha that fat racist shrew Jade. Her celebrity card is so revoked.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

Wait, those guys are considered celebrities? Face is the only one I recognized. And he ruled on the A-Team. Just ruled.

 

[The Big Ragu]

I have never watched Big Brother and know little about it. But a friend had me watch Leo Sayer--talk about your Z-List celebrities!--lose it on the British version. Combine the fact that it's Leo Sayer and his gripe is that he doesn't want to wash his underwear, and I found this somehow entertaining. Here's the YouTube link:

 

[Trouser_Buddah]

Ok, I've watched the first five seconds of the Leo Sayer thing and I'm already cracking up....

 

[Killick]

OMG. This is hilarious! A big thanx for the Big Ragu.

"This isn't how I thought it would be. I thought you'd treat me like I should be." Uh, dude -- you're Leo ****ing Sayer. Be happy someone wants to pay you for anything. And wash your underwear, you prissy asshole.

 

[Perry White]

Dirk ended up finishing in 3rd place, behind Jermaine Jackson and the winner, Shilpa Shetty.

 

[imjustagirl2]

Jesus, Perry, can we at least get a spoiler alert??

 

[PopeDirkBenedict]

I am Dirk ****ing Benedict. I can get any woman I want. You can't treat me like this! Do you realize that when I was on the A-Team, I got blowjobs from every major TV star? I even got Pam Dauber to slobber on my knob. Joyce DeWitt stopped speaking to me after I told that ***** to stop using teeth -- I wanted my **** sucked, not exfoliated. Andy **** is obsessed with me and throws himself at me anytime he sees me. I would tell the poor boy to leave me alone, but I rather enjoy his flattery. And for you to treat me like this...when all it would take is one snap of my fingers and my agent, Art Hibke, would make sure that none of you worked in Hollywood again. I don't think you assholes know who you are dealing with. I'm a major star. I can get into any restaurant or night club I want. I walk down the street and every schmuck wants my autograph. Men want to be me and women want to be with me. I did this Big Brother show as a favor to all of you: having a megastar like me opens the door for all of you to find your own ways to fame. I don't have to be here. So treat me with respect and your career will take off. But if you want to **** this incredible opportunity away because you don't know any better and your parents never taught you to genuflect when a truly famous man with a 14-inch schlong offers you help, then go right ahead. I feel sorry for you.

 

[BYH]

I am Dirk ****ing Benedict. I can get any woman I want. You can't treat me like this! Do you realize that when I was on the A-Team, I got blowjobs from every major TV star? I even got Pam Dauber to slobber on my knob. Joyce DeWitt stopped speaking to me after I told that ***** to stop using teeth -- I wanted my **** sucked, not exfoliated. Andy **** is obsessed with me and throws himself at me anytime he sees me. I would tell the poor boy to leave me alone, but I rather enjoy his flattery. And for you to treat me like this...when all it would take is one snap of my fingers and my agent, Art Hibke, would make sure that none of you worked in Hollywood again. I don't think you assholes know who you are dealing with. I'm a major star. I can get into any restaurant or night club I want. I walk down the street and every schmuck wants my autograph. Men want to be me and women want to be with me. I did this Big Brother show as a favor to all of you: having a megastar like me opens the door for all of you to find your own ways to fame. I don't have to be here. So treat me with respect and your career will take off. But if you want to **** this incredible opportunity away because you don't know any better and your parents never taught you to genuflect when a truly famous man with a 14-inch schlong offers you help, then go right ahead. I feel sorry for you.

If I ever form a thrash group, I'm going to call it Pam Dauber's Slobber Knobbers.

 

[Trouser_Buddah]

I'm particulary taken with Joyce DeWitt's Exfoliating Enamel

 

[PopeDirkBenedict]

I am Dirk ****ing Benedict. I can get any woman I want. You can't treat me like this! Do you realize that when I was on the A-Team, I got blowjobs from every major TV star? I even got Pam Dauber to slobber on my knob. Joyce DeWitt stopped speaking to me after I told that ***** to stop using teeth -- I wanted my **** sucked, not exfoliated. Andy **** is obsessed with me and throws himself at me anytime he sees me. I would tell the poor boy to leave me alone, but I rather enjoy his flattery. And for you to treat me like this...when all it would take is one snap of my fingers and my agent, Art Hibke, would make sure that none of you worked in Hollywood again. I don't think you assholes know who you are dealing with. I'm a major star. I can get into any restaurant or night club I want. I walk down the street and every schmuck wants my autograph. Men want to be me and women want to be with me. I did this Big Brother show as a favor to all of you: having a megastar like me opens the door for all of you to find your own ways to fame. I don't have to be here. So treat me with respect and your career will take off. But if you want to **** this incredible opportunity away because you don't know any better and your parents never taught you to genuflect when a truly famous man with a 14-inch schlong offers you help, then go right ahead. I feel sorry for you.

If I ever form a thrash group, I'm going to call it Pam Dauber's Slobber Knobbers.

Can I write the lyrics for Pam Dauber's Slobber Knobbers?

 

[Perry White]

I am Dirk ****ing Benedict. I can get any woman I want. You can't treat me like this! Do you realize that when I was on the A-Team, I got blowjobs from every major TV star? I even got Pam Dauber to slobber on my knob. Joyce DeWitt stopped speaking to me after I told that ***** to stop using teeth -- I wanted my **** sucked, not exfoliated. Andy **** is obsessed with me and throws himself at me anytime he sees me. I would tell the poor boy to leave me alone, but I rather enjoy his flattery. And for you to treat me like this...when all it would take is one snap of my fingers and my agent, Art Hibke, would make sure that none of you worked in Hollywood again. I don't think you assholes know who you are dealing with. I'm a major star. I can get into any restaurant or night club I want. I walk down the street and every schmuck wants my autograph. Men want to be me and women want to be with me. I did this Big Brother show as a favor to all of you: having a megastar like me opens the door for all of you to find your own ways to fame. I don't have to be here. So treat me with respect and your career will take off. But if you want to **** this incredible opportunity away because you don't know any better and your parents never taught you to genuflect when a truly famous man with a 14-inch schlong offers you help, then go right ahead. I feel sorry for you.

This has got to be an early leader for 2007 Post of the Year

 

[PopeDirkBenedict]

I just wish someone had gotten the Art Hibke reference

 

[User 1019]

I am Dirk ****ing Benedict. I can get any woman I want. You can't treat me like this! Do you realize that when I was on the A-Team, I got blowjobs from every major TV star? I even got Pam Dauber to slobber on my knob. Joyce DeWitt stopped speaking to me after I told that ***** to stop using teeth -- I wanted my **** sucked, not exfoliated. Andy **** is obsessed with me and throws himself at me anytime he sees me. I would tell the poor boy to leave me alone, but I rather enjoy his flattery. And for you to treat me like this...when all it would take is one snap of my fingers and my agent, Art Hibke, would make sure that none of you worked in Hollywood again. I don't think you assholes know who you are dealing with. I'm a major star. I can get into any restaurant or night club I want. I walk down the street and every schmuck wants my autograph. Men want to be me and women want to be with me. I did this Big Brother show as a favor to all of you: having a megastar like me opens the door for all of you to find your own ways to fame. I don't have to be here. So treat me with respect and your career will take off. But if you want to **** this incredible opportunity away because you don't know any better and your parents never taught you to genuflect when a truly famous man with a 14-inch schlong offers you help, then go right ahead. I feel sorry for you.

This has got to be an early leader for 2007 Post of the Year

Whate

I am Dirk ****ing Benedict. I can get any woman I want. You can't treat me like this! Do you realize that when I was on the A-Team, I got blowjobs from every major TV star? I even got Pam Dauber to slobber on my knob. Joyce DeWitt stopped speaking to me after I told that ***** to stop using teeth -- I wanted my **** sucked, not exfoliated. Andy **** is obsessed with me and throws himself at me anytime he sees me. I would tell the poor boy to leave me alone, but I rather enjoy his flattery. And for you to treat me like this...when all it would take is one snap of my fingers and my agent, Art Hibke, would make sure that none of you worked in Hollywood again. I don't think you assholes know who you are dealing with. I'm a major star. I can get into any restaurant or night club I want. I walk down the street and every schmuck wants my autograph. Men want to be me and women want to be with me. I did this Big Brother show as a favor to all of you: having a megastar like me opens the door for all of you to find your own ways to fame. I don't have to be here. So treat me with respect and your career will take off. But if you want to **** this incredible opportunity away because you don't know any better and your parents never taught you to genuflect when a truly famous man with a 14-inch schlong offers you help, then go right ahead. I feel sorry for you.

Whatever.