Doctor Detroit II: The Wrath Of Mom (or My Hotel Is Filled With Goons)

[Bubbler]

I'm in Detroit, specifically the Hyatt in Dearborn, and the **** has hit the fan.

The hotel has apparently been taken over by the cast of Fast & The Furious, DeGrassi, and any other manner of poser-ass frat-boy **** and apparently the subversive charms of a suburban Hyatt have the ******* run wild.

All I know is the hotel was overrun when I got back from my game and a quick beer at around 1 a.m. I was tuckered out, so I went to the room, spanked it, posted some **** on SJ and figured I'd hit the hay.

Not so fast. Some ****er pulled the alarm (for the second night in a row). I didn't move, I knew it was bull**** and it was.

What I didn't know is the alarm pull occurred when this poser's pimp ball got out of hand, at least according to the sub-Swingers dip****s in the room next to me. There was a full scale brawl, including some girl getting punched in the chops, and now the diaspora of can't-drink-yet are trying to avoid 5-0 in the halls of the Hyatt.

Sleeping is futile, so I went on the balcony to watch it all unfold. Cops are everywhere. It's pretty funny, but only because I'm not yet asleep myself. Some guy yelled for the whole hotel to hear, "WOULD YOU ASSHOLES SHUT THE **** UP! I HAVE A MEETING AT 5 A.M." Then slammed his door.

I am soooo getting my money back tomorrow morning.

Only in Detroit. (Hi Slappy!)

 

[BYH]

Sounds like you're next door to Perennially Overrated's birthday party.

He probably turned your car over as you sat on the balcony.

 

[mike311gd]

That's awesome. I love watching idiots. It's like a self-reflection from afar.

 

[MartinEnigmatica]

You're sure that's not a college dorm you're staying in?

 

[User 1019]

Same thing happened to us in Nashville a couple of years ago. We were enjoying a nice, long weekend. Apparently the Sigma Chis were doing the same. Miserable.

 

[slappy4428]

Sounds like you're next door to Perennially Overrated's birthday party.

He probably turned your car over as you sat on the balcony.

Wouldn't THAT be something....

Also happened to me one year in Columbus covering a basketball game... apparently, the Inn on the Lane is popular...

 

[2muchcoffeeman]

No Kilpatrick involvement? I'm shocked.

 

[mustangj17]

Hey the Hyatt is actually a really nice place, I had my high school prom there.

Bubbler, if you are still in town take these few notes:

Stay away from Fairlane Mall at night. Take Michigan avenue about a mile west of where you are staying at go to some of the bars....

Bailey's on the left hand side is probably the best in town and the Post, and the Double Olive are pretty awesome as well. There's also your traditional BDUBS right across the street. Oh yeah if you want to see the highest Arabic population outside the middle east, drive a mile or two east. When all the stores' signs are in different languages you will know you are in the right place.

Oh yeah last thing, hop on Evergreen, go about 1/2 mile north and check out the Henry Ford Estate its a pretty baller mansion as you could imagine.

 

[Overrated]

Sounds like you're next door to Perennially Overrated's birthday party.

He probably turned your car over as you sat on the balcony.

Dude, I was too busy punching chicks in the face. That ***** wants to badmouth Travis Fryman at MY party? I don't ****ing think so, jack.

All in all, the party went well, though. I didn't know you were in town, Bubs. You'd have been on the VIP list with Magnum, P.I., Fennis Dembo and Cheddar Bob.

 

[Overrated]

Bailey's on the left hand side is probably the best in town and the Post, and the Double Olive are pretty awesome as well. There's also your traditional BDUBS right across the street. Oh yeah if you want to see the highest Arabic population outside the middle east, drive a mile or two east. When all the stores' signs are in different languages you will know you are in the right place.

I love the low-key double olive atmosphere. That's also where I met Eminem. And, by "met," I mean "grabbed his sack while in a crowd and scurried away."

 

[mustangj17]

Bailey's on the left hand side is probably the best in town and the Post, and the Double Olive are pretty awesome as well. There's also your traditional BDUBS right across the street. Oh yeah if you want to see the highest Arabic population outside the middle east, drive a mile or two east. When all the stores' signs are in different languages you will know you are in the right place.

I love the low-key double olive atmosphere. That's also where I met Eminem. And, by "met," I mean "grabbed his sack while in a crowd and scurried away."

I would have said venue, but Paris Hilton had her Super Bowl party there two years ago which means you can herpes by just touching the door knobs.

 

[Tommy_Dreamer]

I'm in Detroit, specifically the Hyatt in Dearborn, and the **** has hit the fan.

The hotel has apparently been taken over by the cast of Fast & The Furious, DeGrassi, and any other manner of poser-ass frat-boy **** and apparently the subversive charms of a suburban Hyatt have the ******* run wild.

All I know is the hotel was overrun when I got back from my game and a quick beer at around 1 a.m. I was tuckered out, so I went to the room, spanked it, posted some **** on SJ and figured I'd hit the hay.

Not so fast. Some ****er pulled the alarm (for the second night in a row). I didn't move, I knew it was bull**** and it was.

What I didn't know is the alarm pull occurred when this poser's pimp ball got out of hand, at least according to the sub-Swingers dip****s in the room next to me. There was a full scale brawl, including some girl getting punched in the chops, and now the diaspora of can't-drink-yet are trying to avoid 5-0 in the halls of the Hyatt.

Sleeping is futile, so I went on the balcony to watch it all unfold. Cops are everywhere. It's pretty funny, but only because I'm not yet asleep myself. Some guy yelled for the whole hotel to hear, "WOULD YOU ASSHOLES SHUT THE **** UP! I HAVE A MEETING AT 5 A.M." Then slammed his door.

I am soooo getting my money back tomorrow morning.

Only in Detroit. (Hi Slappy!)

You should've went Akeem on them from Coming to America while onthe balcony.

Akeem: GOOD MORNING MY NEIGHBORS!
NY neighbor: **** YOU!
Akeem: YES, YES! **** YOU TOO!

That would have been so much scoreboard