"destination weddings"

[EStreetJoe]

If money is going to be tight, don't go. Simple as that. Send a gift that you can afford, not one to make up for your not being there.

 

[Songbird]

Don't go, and don't worry about it.

 

[SixToe]

Outside of my family and our wedding bridesmades-groomsmen, I remember one person who came to our wedding.

Everyone else? A blur.

If you can't afford it, do not go.

That doesn't make you "poor." It means you're smart enough to realize $600 is a lot.

 

[JR]

Tell your niece you'll pass but if she promises to have her second wedding closer to home, you'll be there.

She also sounds like a self centred little brat with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement so I'd say the over/under on this marriage is five years.

 

[leo1]

Given the financial burden these self-centered twits are putting on you and your mother, and reading your last post, why are you even thinking about going?

"Sorry, can't make it. Wish you great happiness. All the best, etc. etc. etc."

i agree with this but i'd add "i make $xxx/week and have no savings. i'd love to be there but i literally cannot afford it. by the way, mom is on a very fixed income. she, too, would love to go but also doesn't have the money."

there's nothing to be ashamed of but she might need to wake up call to grasp the concept that (1) a destination wedding is a burden on all invited and (2) there are some people - even people she loves - who aren't as spoiled as her and who don't have the disposable income she has.

 

[Ace]

Do not go and do not feel bad about it.

I had a destination wedding. Know who went? Me and my wife.

We had separate parties for friends and family before and after.

No way I would want to burden anyone with that. Hell, I barely wanted to burden myself.

 

[alleyallen]

The "destination wedding" is a fine idea if that's what the bride and groom choose, but only the VERY immediate ought to be required to go. And if they're sticking anyone with a $500 or more ticket, then they shouldn't be surprised if no one shows up.

I love my small family very much, but if you can forgive me for not showing up to a wedding because I'm on a six-month deployment with the Navy, you can forgive me for not ponying up the dough for a trip to the Caymens just to see you get hitched.

Not unless you can guarantee me some action with a bridesmaid or three.

 

[JR]

Not unless you can guarantee me some action with a bridesmaid groomsman or three.

Fixed. ;D

 

[alleyallen]

Not unless you can guarantee me some action with a bridesmaid Canadian groomsman or three.

Fixed. ;D

Fixed again.

 

[JR]

Not unless you can guarantee me some action with a bridesmaid Canadian groomsman or three.

Fixed. ;D

Fixed again.

That'd be me, Huggy & Double J.

 

[HC]

Not unless you can guarantee me some action with a bridesmaid Canadian groomsman or three.

Fixed. ;D

Fixed again.

That'd be me, Huggy & Double J.

I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life.

 

[HC]

If you can't be there, you can't be there. I have missed several of my brothers and sisters weddings because I was at McGill in Montreal and my family is all in Vancouver. One brother who really wanted me to sign at his wedding (and has some cash) paid for my ticket to come to his nuptials (he also got me home for my Dad's funeral). The rest completely understood because that's what family does.

 

[Rosie]

Count my vote for not attending as well.

To go into debt to attend a wedding is ludicrous. Don't do it. All the suggestions given here are really good.

And if the happy, shallow couple has a problem with that, then you certainly don't need them in your life.

 

[User 1019]

Give the money you could use for the wedding to your mother, so she can attend.

 

[alleyallen]

Perhaps my wedding gift to the next destination wedding couple could be a book titled "How to spend as much time, money and effort on your marriage as you do on your wedding."

 

[sportschick]

Give the money you could use for the wedding to your mother, so she can attend.

I actually think this is a great idea. Def. something I'd strongly consider.

 

[User 1019]

I'm not saying, you know, spend the entire $600 it'd cost you to go. Just give your mom $300-400 bucks and tell her to have a drink on you.

 

[westcoastvol]

I've been to five destination weddings all over the world.

You make it PART of a vacation, not the entire shebang.

 

[alleyallen]

I've been to five destination weddings all over the world.

You make it PART of a vacation, not the entire shebang.

Have you done those weddings since becoming a journalist?

Do you sell drugs or real estate on the side (kidding) for the extra income to afford said trips?

Just wondering.

 

[writing irish]

Then you know what? Save your sanity and don't go. If it's a hardship to get there, and you don't like their company, don't go. The only reason to go would be if you mother asks for your presence to keep her company.

Good call, Cadet. I failed to emphasize the importance of this dynamic...another reason why I'd even consider going. Mom's going in any case and she could use some moral support.

Yeah, I give the marriage about five years, ten years maximum. My niece is very immature and seems to think that anyone who's over 25 and not married is a failure in life. She's a mess. Don't know too much about the groom, except that he's a video tech for FOCKS News. I'd been waiting to use the official SportsJournalists.com spelling for that network.

Thanks for the excellent observations and suggestions. Haven't decided what I'm doing yet, but my basic plan is to convince Bridezilla's loving parents that they need to pony up for this horse****. If they won't, I'll go to Plan B.