I know you don't want to smell me from... all the way over there... or over there... but right... here. I know. I'm working on it. You have to understand, before I met you, I did not have the best body spray induced love life. First, I was a TAG man. A 5 second sprayer, no more, no less. Yet, Madame Mandelbaum did not become a buxom, bespectacled young madamoiselle. A sexual encounter? Perhaps, if you consider getting a face full of soggy pink crepe a sexual encounter.
It was no MyFirstSexTeacher.com experience, brought to you by Naughty America. And I did have a continued inability to understand French, comprende?
Then came Axe. You'd think the brand that started the body spray trend would know what they were doing. I went for the dual can, slo-mo helicopter spin out of the hope of calling forth a bouncy bikini stampede. All I got were a bunch of Kazahks in gold chains, because they sensed that I had plenty of artificial man musk to spare.
Please RGX body spray girl. This is it. I know it is. I'm ready to step up, but please for the love of God, I hope you when you say "you know who separates the men from the boys?" you don't mean you want me and kazahk dude to double team you. Please?
PS- I am aware your "name" is Rachel Specter, but its a lot easier to diminish your personhood and increase objectification by calling you RGX body spray girl http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1728700
