Boom

[Chef2]

http://www.mlive.com/news/index.ssf/2012/07/man_blows_part_of_his_genitals.html

 

[The Big Ragu]

The third graf reads like a Roadrunner cartoon.

 

[mjp1542]

The third graf reads like a Roadrunner cartoon.

Well put, considering the "Acme Township" dateline!

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

... goes the dynamite.

 

[Chef2]

... goes the nut.

 

[SFIND]

He won't be ****ing around any more.

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

Bet he got his beans mixed in with his frank.

 

[bigpern23]

I don't buy the guy's story that he thought it was a dud and went up to inspect it. If that were the case, I'm assuming he would have gotten his face blown off, not his nuts. I'm guessing he was goofing around and, um, paid the price.

 

[Armchair_QB]

...has never been in my kitchen.

 

[Armchair_QB]

Ooops...

More powerful and dangerous fireworks legalized this year by the state Legislature have resulted in some serious injuries around the state, and were blamed for burning down a large, 1,100-family Catholic Church in Kentwood last weekend.

 

[21]

...has never been in my kitchen.

That's what they all say.

 

[Ace]

Sorry about your loss, 21.

 

[bigpern23]

Nah, you know it's not Boom. 21 has had both his testicles in a safe deposit box for years.

 

[Ace]

What do you think the guy said just before the blast?

A) Hey y'all, watch this!

B) Damn. I'd have given my left nut to see that shell go off.

C) I'm gonna take a leak on that shell to make sure it's a dud.

 

[Batman]

Can't wait for the TV news people to include this demonstration in their July 2 report next year.
All jokes aside, I'm guessing the "ground-based firework" in question was one of these:

... and if that's the case, it doesn't surprise me in the least. Those things scare the **** out of me. They're unreliable and unpredictable, and if you aren't familiar with them you can easily **** some **** up. The fuses take forever to burn, and sometimes go out -- and sometimes don't. Whatever directions are written on those things are in Chinese, or written by a Chinese person in pidgeon English. It's very easy to put the fuse in the wrong way or put them on slightly uneven ground and have them tip over.
The first time I tried to use one I put the fuse in the wrong way. The shell went off inside the tube instead of launching out and knocked over the tube. It was only by the grace of God the shell more or less burned up instead of shooting out and killing someone.

 

[Captain_Hindsight]

This man clearly should have stayed away from the shell.

Ooops...

More powerful and dangerous fireworks legalized this year by the state Legislature have resulted in some serious injuries around the state, and were blamed for burning down a large, 1,100-family Catholic Church in Kentwood last weekend.

They should have stuck with the old law.

 

[Dark_Knight]

A) Hey y'all, watch this!

Great stories don't start any other way.

 

[Bubbler]

 

[Football_Bat]

What do you think the guy said just before the blast?

A) Hey y'all, watch this!

B) Damn. I'd have given my left nut to see that shell go off.

C) I'm gonna take a leak on that shell to make sure it's a dud.

The option before A should be "Hold My Beer."

 

[TigerVols]

Ooops...

More powerful and dangerous fireworks legalized this year by the state Legislature have resulted in some serious injuries around the state, and were blamed for burning down a large, 1,100-family Catholic Church in Kentwood last weekend.

Where is that from?