Being a grown-up sucks

[RedHotChiliPrepper]

I'm 26, and I'm just learning this now. This has been potentially the worst six months of my adult life and it's finally starting to wear on me. I'm usually a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of guy that just kind of lets things roll off my back. Safe to say I've hit a wall. Every time it seems like something good is happening, something ****ty happens in return. Everyone keeps telling me I'm in for some good luck sooner or later, but who the hell knows.

I'll start from the beginning:

—My grandmother passed away in December after a battle with lung cancer. Knew it was coming, but little things since then have made me miss her more and more.
—Two weeks after Grammy passed away, my car broke for the first time costing me almost $400 to fix
—Three weeks after getting my car back in December, something else broke on my car, again costing me close to $400
—Had my car back for about a month and had to get it inspected, including a couple new tires, costing me in total about $250
—Because of all the money I spent on my car, fell behind on the gas bill. Got a shutoff notice, but made an arrangement with the gas company to avoid a shutoff in the middle of February
—In the middle of March, car breaks again. Again something different, again, costing me $400. Thankfully, my step-dad knew just how bad things were for me and had the money to pay the bill for me, otherwise, don't know how I was going to pay it. When I picked up my car, my mechanic tells me I need to start looking for a new car because my transmission is making some funny noises and probably won't last me into the fall.
—I spent the better part of January, February and March living off of ramen noodles, tuna fish and occasionally cold meat sandwiches, which doesn't sound so bad, but got really old really fast.
—I get laid off at the end of April as the paper is trying to cut back on spending. My roommate decides I need to get drunk that night and asks me to meet him in the town he works in at 9 p.m. and he'll take me to Harrisburg with him to get loaded, in all not too bad of a plan.
—As I'm driving into the town where my roommate works, my oil pressure light comes on just before the car blows up (figuratively of course). Won't restart. Sounds like **** in the motor is all busted up. Decide to push it into a parking lot, let it sit, go get drunk, and I'll have it towed in the morning.
—As my car is being towed, my passenger side mirror, which had a crack in it, gets caught in the wind and blows off ... SIGH ...
—Four days after being laid off, I'm hired at another paper about an hour away
—During the course of the two weeks between when I was laid off and when I started my new job, I start hanging out quite a bit with a female co-worker who I had become friends with and we begin dating
—A week after we're dating, she tells me she's moving to New York City for the summer with her best friend and is going to work as a fan photographer for the Yankees ... sigh ...
—I've been driving around my roommate's slider car that he uses during the winter and as I'm driving home the last night of my first week at work, it blows up on the Interstate, leaving me stranded, and likely owing my roommate at least some cash for a new car
—I start looking around for a car of my own as things slow down only to realize that my past transgressions fiscally, which I have spent the last six months trying to start clean up, are keeping me from getting a car loan.
—Girlfriend and her roommate have trouble finding a place to live, so girlfriend spends and unexpected two weeks at home that we get to spend together. She says if they don't find a new place in another week, she's just going to stay here for the summer. Next day her roommate finds a place for them to live and four days or so later, she's gone again.
—Turns out I really don't like my job. Not a big fan of the area and overall I'm just miserable coming to work every day. And on top of it, I'm still driving an hour each way to get here which makes me all the more happy
—Find a place that works with people with poor credit to find them a car. Tell the people what I need and what I can afford. They ask for a $500 down payment I clearly don't have, especially since when doing my checkbook balancing I realize that I have $60 in my bank account and there's $90 in bills being withdrawn on Monday through an automatic pay system I have set up with creditors to get my credit back in good standing
—Lady at the car dealership says they have a car that should be able to suit my financial needs, it's only going to cost $100 more a month than I told them I can afford. I looked at the lady and laughed at her, told her I appreciate her doing what she can to help me, but there's no way I can say yes knowing I'm going to fail miserably.

I spent the 30 minute car ride home crying to myself realizing what a miserable failure I've been as an adult. My mom wants me to move back home with her to save up some money and try to get things in my life squared away again. Mom's house is an extra 20 minutes further away from where work is now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking about jumping off a bridge or anything stupid like that. I'm just realizing how much I enjoyed being 8 years old and not having a care in the world. I guess eventually after getting pounded on time and time again that it eventually makes even the cheeriest of people break.

I'm not looking for advice or anything, don't really know what advice could help me at this point. Just wanted to vent a little bit and this seemed like a good place to do it.

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

This should be called Owning a ****ty Car Sucks.

 

[mustangj17]

Sounds like you caught some bad breaks, but, you could always move home. Yes, you pay a bit more in gas, but you get some better food than ramen and depending on what your mom charges, save on rent, utilities, food, and other expenses. After a few months, you can get a better car, and you will back on track.

 

[DirtyDeeds]

Yeah, RHCP, I'd bite the bullet and move back in with Mom until you get back on your feet. That's a really rough stretch, but things will turn around. I think it's a bit early to look at yourself as a failure.

 

[Peytons place]

I know it's cliche, but things will get better. I think it's that whole "when it rains, it pours" thing, but just weigh your options, and appreciate that you are young enough that it won't always have to be like this.
Good luck with everything.

 

[outofplace]

Lots of us have hit rough spots, sometimes much deeper into adulthood. it's nothing to be ashamed of and 26 is way too damn early to start thinking of yourself as a failure. Now 37, that would be a different story. (That's a shot at myself, since nobody here would know my age).

You probably should take your mom up on the offer so you can save a little money rather than digging a deeper hole. It sucks to be even further from work, but it's probably worth it in the long run.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Outside of the first thing on your list (my sympathies, by the way), the rest of the stuff will eventually turn around.

Especially on a sports journalism board, a lot of us were in the same boat as you. Poor (especially on a journalist's salary), lonely, and frustrated that every single step forward is accompanied by a step back.

Things do work out. You're 26. You have a long ways to go.

 

[Double J]

Some good advice here, Chili. And keep this in mind - there are a lot of people your age who haven't even tried to make it on their own yet. That you've done so says a lot about you, and "failure" ain't one of the words coming to mind.

 

[DirtyDeeds]

True, DoubleJ. At 26, I was living with my mom while finishing college. Way too early to get that discouraged. The car stuff is just plain bad luck, and all of it will turn around.

 

[imjustagirl]

RHCP: My very best thoughts for your rough valley. It has to come back up at some point, though I know right now it doesn't seem like there's any light at the end of the tunnel. You've been more supportive to me than you know, so if there's anything I can do in return, I completely will.

 

[podunk press]

A really simple solution here that should solve everything:

1. Move in with mom. No shame in it. Especially now.
2. Pay off debt.
3. Save money.
4. Buy car that won't cost you thousands of dollars to fix
5. Save money.
6. Go to grad school.
7. Get the hell out of journalism.
8. Get nights off.
9. Meet hot girl.
10. You're back.

 

[Pilot]

Have you thought about internet gambling to try and raise the money to pay your bills?

 

[Pilot]

Really, as everyone else has said, move in back home. Then start slow and don't be dumb with your money. Not saying you have been, obviously, but you can really rack up money fast if the parents are taking care of the cable, the power, the gas and the rent.

Get a little foundation and the rest will take care of itself. Good luck.

 

[old_tony]

RCHP, your problems aren't that uncommon, although they always seem to be the worst when they're happening to you.

But look at the bright side: You're young. You've still got plenty of time to get out of a dying business. You've got plenty of time to go back to school and become just about anything you want to be.

And, even better, your thoughts show that you have a good, solid head on your shoulders.

Move back in with mom and don't give it a second thought. It's what family is supposed to be for.

Just hang in there, and things are sure to get better.

 

[old_tony]

A really simple solution here that should solve everything:

1. Move in with mom. No shame in it. Especially now.
2. Pay off debt.
3. Save money.
4. Buy car that won't cost you thousands of dollars to fix
5. Save money.
6. Go to grad school.
7. Get the hell out of journalism.
8. Get nights off.
9. Meet hot girl.
10. You're back.

If only someone had given me advice this good back when I was 26.

 

[Some Guy]

I don't mean to minimalize your problems, but getting a care that doesn't suck ass would literally solve half your problems.

Other than that, folks here have given you some decent advice.

 

[RickStain]

For early 2008, I could go down that list and check it all off with a few minor differences (grandma replaced with mother-in-law, a few less car problems and a few more way-behind bills and shutoff notices) and throw in being fired at the same time.

By mid-2009, I can honestly say my life has never been better and things could not possibly be going better.

Hang in there, keep evaluating and making the tough decisions, and things can and will turn around.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

I'm going on 24, and almost in the same boat (at least from a financial standpoint) as Chili. I was stupid and got a credit card a few years ago, ran up a huge bill on it, and now I'm paying the price for it. Trying to get my credit score increased little by little, and it sucks.

I've paid off one debt to a bank, but I'll soon be paying off more past screw-ups on my part. I'm trying to get out of my current car, because the payments have become too much. My debts are slowly being paid off, and I realize I'll be out from under that mountain soon (just not soon enough).

I live at home as well, simply because I can't afford to live on my own right now. I want to move out so bad, but I know I can't risk being buried by even more debt.

Chili: Move in with your mom. If she isn't charging you rent or anything, help out around the house to make up for it. It's helped me get somewhat ahead on bills I had fallen behind on when I lived on my and wasn't able to save as much. I still don't save very much each month, but I've got more money to work with at the end of the month.

I wish you the best.

 

[Petrie]

A really simple solution here that should solve everything:

1. Move in with mom. No shame in it. Especially now.
2. Pay off debt.
3. Save money.
4. Buy car that won't cost you thousands of dollars to fix
5. Save money.
6. Go to grad school.
7. Get the hell out of journalism.
8. Get nights off.
9. Meet hot girl.
10. You're back.

If only someone had given me advice this good back when I was 26.

I'm 23. Needless to say, I'm taking notes

RHCP, you've been in a lot of tough spots lately. There's a reason for it, though...you *will* come out stronger in the end, and almost anything after this will be a walk in the park. Just keep your head up and work hard to get out of your rut, and the breaks will start going your way.

It doesn't take much to get things back on the right track. For me personally, it was (somehow) paying off a couple grand in credit-card debt in three months. I'm still poor, but it's *so* refreshing to get out of that hole. Work toward chalking up minor victories like that...they'll give you the strength and confidence to tackle the bigger issues in front of you.

Best of luck

 

[Some Guy]

I'm not trying to be a ****. I'm just wondering ... how do people get a couple grand in credit card debt?

I get more than $100 on there and I start breaking out in hives.