Assistant Director of Student-Athlete Success ???

[Vombatus]

Argh. Anyone know of any schools that have such positions? We used to call them academic advisors.

Now this dumbass title has appeared at Hopkins. I am looking around, figured it was an Ivy League thing, but I do see some other schools have some titles similar to this. California State. A few others.

Damn. Now we probably need a Student-Athlete Safe Space Assistant Director.

I suppose people who write for the Athletic Director trade magazines come up with ideas and titles like this.

 

[Inky_Wretch]

That's Vice Chancellor of Student-Athletics, you heathen.

 

[JohnHammond]

Remember when editors were called editors, and not coaches or team leads?

 

[Jake_Taylor]

Goddammit, I thought this was a job posting.

 

[MisterCreosote]

Remember when editors were called editors, and not coaches or team leads?

Gannett has a "Chief People Officer."

 

[Vombatus]

Gannett has a "Chief People Officer."

That sounds Orwellian.

 

[Guy_Incognito]

Argh. Anyone know of any schools that have such positions? We used to call them academic advisors.

Now this dumbass title has appeared at Hopkins. I am looking around, figured it was an Ivy League thing, but I do see some other schools have some titles similar to this. California State. A few others.

Damn. Now we probably need a Student-Athlete Safe Space Assistant Director.

I suppose people who write for the Athletic Director trade magazines come up with ideas and titles like this.

Why don't they just call it "term paper writer?"

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Gannett has a "Chief People Officer."

In my next life, I want to come back as a Gannett consultant. Sit around all day, and do nothing other than collect a lot of money and come up with new stupid buzzword titles and concepts like "Chief People Officer and "Local Information Center" and " Newsroom of the Future" and "Coach."

 

[SpeedTchr]

Gannett has a "Chief People Officer."

Soylent Green, anyone?

 

[Bronco77]

No doubt the job descriptions for these titles include expressions such as "best practices" and other buzzspeak. But if a BCS school ever employs an "assistant director of student-athlete success," the proper description of that person's duties might be along the lines of, "Using any means necessary to keep athletes academically eligible and out of the police reports."

 

[Ace]

No doubt the job descriptions for these titles include expressions such as "best practices" and other buzzspeak. But if a BCS school ever employs an "assistant director of student-athlete success," the proper description of that person's duties might be along the lines of, "Using any means necessary to keep athletes academically eligible and out of the police reports."

And also keeping the school from committing NCAA violations that anyone finds out about.

 

[TyWebb]

Before I got out of the business, at my last stop, the EIC title was changed to Director of Audience. I still don't know what that means, but it was a good sign that the end was near.

 

[jr/shotglass]

Argh. Anyone know of any schools that have such positions? We used to call them academic advisors.

Now this dumbass title has appeared at Hopkins. I am looking around, figured it was an Ivy League thing, but I do see some other schools have some titles similar to this. California State. A few others.

Damn. Now we probably need a Student-Athlete Safe Space Assistant Director.

I suppose people who write for the Athletic Director trade magazines come up with ideas and titles like this.

When they call it the Dave Pietramala Assistant Director of Student-Athlete Success, we will have faced the apocalypse.

 

[MisterCreosote]

For those familiar with Six Sigma, there's a job title that's simply "Champion."

It's what I one day aspire to be.

 

[Guy_Incognito]

For those familiar with Six Sigma, there's a job title that's simply "Champion."

It's what I one day aspire to be.

ABC weatherman?

 

[Vombatus]

I was hoping for Assistant Fuhrer.

 

[dixiehack]

I was hoping for Assistant Fuhrer.

Mike Pence jokes go on the other thread.

 

[playthrough]

No doubt the job descriptions for these titles include expressions such as "best practices" and other buzzspeak. But if a BCS school ever employs an "assistant director of student-athlete success," the proper description of that person's duties might be along the lines of, "Using any means necessary to keep athletes academically eligible and out of the police reports."

I'm still trying to figure out "best practices," which I feel like I've seen a hundred times in the past few months. Sounds a little redundant, for starters.

 

[User 11148]

For those familiar with Six Sigma, there's a job title that's simply "Champion."

It's what I one day aspire to be.

Every other spring I teach our primary quality management course (will probably be every spring in a year or so when the other guy retires). I tell you, it is a helluva job to convince students that "Six Sigma" ain't the same thing as "six sigma," which ain't the same thing as 6σ.

 

[dixiehack]