And this year's winner of the 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

[JR]

Sometimes known as the "It was a dark and stormy night" contest

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080814.wbulwer0814/BNStory/Entertainment/home

The overall winner:

“Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped, 'Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.' ”

And a dishonourable mention goes to this woman from Double J country:

“The penguin stood on the iceberg, cutting a striking black-on-white profile, much like the silhouette produced by a person standing behind a screen in front of a bright light while holding up a Twinkie to represent the penguin and placing it atop a Yorkshire terrier to represent the iceberg.”

I bet there are numerous SportsJournalists.com members who could beat these for next year's contest.

Or, God help us all, we could start a "Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest" running thread.

 

[slappy4428]

Pengooins is practically chickens, you know.

 

[BYH]

Or, God help us all, we could start a "Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest" running thread.

It's hard to hate you for hating America--and Krispy Kreme and Pizza Hut--when you come up with BRILLIANT ideas like this!

 

[JR]

Or, God help us all, we could start a "Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest" running thread.

It's hard to hate you for hating America--and Krispy Kreme and Pizza Hut--when you come up with BRILLIANT ideas like this!

Well, that's my job.

Keeping America on track, crappy fast food and all.

 

[BYH]

You got that damn right.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm having a heart attack. Or a sugar rush. Or both.

 

[spnited]

Or, God help us all, we could start a "Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest" running thread.

It's hard to hate you for hating America--and Krispy Kreme and Pizza Hut--when you come up with BRILLIANT ideas like this!

How could you possibly hate anyone for hating Krispy Kreme and Pizza Hut?

 

[BYH]

I'm a complicated man.

 

[deskslave]

Anyone else rather keen on seeing what Jones might produce for a Bulwer-Lytton entry?

 

[D.Sanchez]

And for brevity, if nothing else, Barry J. Drucker of Bentonville, Ark., received a miscellaneous dishonourable mention for this: “She had the kind of body that made a man want to have sex with her.”


Damn, looks like I have to come up with a new opening line for my novel.

 

[Ace]

I liked the winner. It was funny and very well-written within the context of the contest.