A student I used to know took their life on Easter

[93Devil]

http://www.legacy.com/TimesDispatch/DeathNotices.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=126183932

I'm having trouble getting my head around this one. I never taught her, but we crossed paths for various things I did when I was in the classroom.

This was a girl who you would have thought had every possible opportunity. Never a read flag when you worked with her, and she had every thing ahead of her in life.

I cannot imagine what her family is going through. I guess I will give Lil 93 a stronger hug tonight when I see her.

 

[Captain_Kirk]

Wow. That's just terribly sad, devil. A young woman who apparently was extremely well rounded and had so much ahead of her. RIP.

 

[93Devil]

We have had depression threads on this board before, and I guess my response is "don't."

This is never the answer.

 

[HC]

Sadly, depression has nothing to do with logic. Suffering with depression leaves you convinced that everyone would be better off without you no matter the evidence to the contrary. My brother had written good-bye letters to each of his 3 children and had the pills on the table in front of him before he was able to make the call to my Mom to ask for help.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

My dad had written letters to me, my sister and step-sister, and had the gun in hand with his finger on the trigger, when Bethany walked in after work.

 

[Pancamo]

Sad. Is it normal to put in the obit that she was bi-polar?

 

[PeteyPirate]

Sad. Is it normal to put in the obit that she was bi-polar?

That appears to be an obit submitted by the family.

 

[Moderator1]

It is a paid obit, submitted by the funeral home on behalf of the family. Not all that unusual, though not common. They want to get the message out, help other families that may be facing a similar situation. I admire them for not hiding things.

 

[93Devil]

It is a paid obit, submitted by the funeral home on behalf of the family. Not all that unusual, though not common. They want to get the message out, help other families that may be facing a similar situation. I admire them for not hiding things.

It saved me from trying to figure out if it was a car crash or an home accident.

It still leaves a million questions, but it at least answers one or two.

 

[outofplace]

One of my closest friends from college suffers from clinical depression. She once told me she has had suicidal thoughts, though she has never made an attempt. Apparently, that particular type of mental illness runs in her family.

A few years back, her mother disappeared. She drove to a motel a couple hours away, where she planned to kill herself. They tracked her by her credit card and found her before she could actually do it. The worst part was, the whole thing left my friend even more depressed than usual. She told me that one night driving home from work, she seriously considered just driving off the road and ending it right there. I was absolutely speechless. What the hell do you say to that? Other than reminding her that she can always call me at any time if she needs help, I'm not sure what can be done.

She's as happy as I've ever seen her these days. She's getting married in the fall. I just hope she's finally found enough peace in her life that she never thinks smashing her car into a tree is a reasonable answer to her problems.

 

[93Devil]

I dated a woman whose mother tried killing herself in a DC park using knives.

The woman and I were never meant to be, but knowing that type of history is in her family was always in the back of my mind.

My current father in law tried doing a booze a pills a couple of times when Mrs. 93 and I were about to be married. My life (who shows zero signs of depression) hard lined him big time, and he is now doing fine, I think.

 

[Double J]

She seems like she'd have been a lot of fun to be around. Avid soap box derby racer? That made me smile. Until I remembered that I was reading an obituary.

What a terrible, terrible thing. I guess the saddest thing is that, despite what her family knew about her and her illnesses, apparently she still didn't feel like she had anyone to whom she could turn.

RIP.

 

[93Devil]

She seems like she'd have been a lot of fun to be around. Avid soap box derby racer? That made me smile. Until I remembered that I was reading an obituary.

What a terrible, terrible thing. I guess the saddest thing is that, despite what her family knew about her and her illnesses, apparently she still didn't feel like she had anyone to whom she could turn.

RIP.

The Soap Box Derby is a very cool event in Fredericksburg.

Not having anywhere to turn is exactly what I cannot understand.

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

Did I miss it? I don't see anything in there about suicide.

 

[OnTheRiver]

Friend of mine overdosed on pain pills on Sunday morning.

I miss her so much already.

 

[93Devil]

I'm sorry, OTR.

Hopefully you this can be one of the different ways you can deal with your loss.

 

[cougargirl]

Did I miss it? I don't see anything in there about suicide.

That's the assumption/inference. I didn't see it in the obit, either.

(Disclaimer: No disrespect to 93Devil, or anyone else who has been affected by this or something like this.)

Given that, though, suicide is a difficult subject to raise or deal with. A woman I know, when I first met her, told me about her brother's death and I apologized and asked, "Do you mind me asking how?"

"Suicide."

I didn't know what to say. But I offered her my condolences. She didn't say too much about it after that. I later found out that her brother was a lacrosse star who killed himself in his dorm room, and that it was a shock to the entire family - no signs of depression, bipolarism, etc, etc ...

 

[OnTheRiver]

I'm sorry, OTR.

Hopefully you this can be one of the different ways you can deal with your loss.

She was fantastic. We'd lose touch with each other for months at a time, but she always showed up for my birthday beer-drinking session with friends each November. Always bought a round.

She fought migraines for 15 years. The kind that they tried surgery on, etc., to no avail. I'd like to think she accidentally took too many pills, but it could very well be that she was just sick of the pain.

 

[93Devil]

Did I miss it? I don't see anything in there about suicide.

That's the assumption/inference. I didn't see it in the obit, either.

(Disclaimer: No disrespect to 93Devil, or anyone else who has been affected by this or something like this.)

None taken, but it seems pretty spelled out in the obit that what happened might have been avoidable with more help.

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

Did I miss it? I don't see anything in there about suicide.

That's the assumption/inference. I didn't see it in the obit, either.

(Disclaimer: No disrespect to 93Devil, or anyone else who has been affected by this or something like this.)

None taken, but it seems pretty spelled out in the obit that what happened might have been avoidable with more help.

I certainly wouldn't be posting someone's obit online and saying she killed herself if I didn't know it to be true.