Who's the weirdest person you have ever worked with?

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

Got this idea off the the Office thread...
Who's the weirdest person you ever worked with or for?
I had a number of jobs - and worked with some "interesting" dudes and dudettes.
One guy who moved himself and his family into a abandoned home to live. Same guy was also scared ****less of the inbred family (swear to god, honest to goodness inbreds) who lived up the road from the 84 Lumber I worked. His brother, for ****s and giggles, would drive him by the place and stop, waiting on the kids - who had all sorts of deformities - to come out and peck on the windows. Dude would flip out. I mean pissed his pants once.

Another guy was a (single) swinger, who would do amateur porno movies.

Worked with a guy whose every story started with "One time me and (insert name here) were all ****ed up ..."
He dated this nasty looking woman (guy was no prize himself) - we called her the sea hag, which was an insult to the sea hag. Anyway, he told us about tapping her the tooter and wiping off on her curtains. Yeah, I know the joke, but I believed this dude.

I worked with another dude who lived in a tent in the woods.

I'm sure If I give this some more thought - I've been kicking it around for a few hours - I can come up with my winner.

Yours?

 

[Lieslntx]

Every single one of the journalists during my stint in a news room.

 

[txsportsscribe]

I worked with another dude who lived in a tent in the woods.

this may become the norm

 

[Sam Mills 51]

Those of you who have worked with me probably have a story or three ...

 

[Petrie]

RossLT

 

[RossLT]

RossLT

I was gonna say Collison

 

[imjustagirl]

I was going to say me.

 

[RossLT]

I was going to say me.

If you qualify as weird we all do

 

[Chef]

Computer dude.

 

[BYH]

Buck.

 

[The Big Ragu]

A copy editor. Magazine. Biggest pain in the ass I have ever met. And a guy who could creep out women better than any man I have ever seen.

God, I wish I could tell the stories, but I can't because I'd have to tell more about myself than I want to. When he finally combusted, he went out like no one you have ever seen. I'll give a tease: He was a pudgy, bearded guy and he inexplicably wore a T-shirt that was two sizes too small to work with "I am a lesbian" magic markered all over it.

 

[mustangj17]

Since this thread was spun off of something I said on the Office thread, I would like to talk more about my weird boss named Jim.

Jim was a very nice, yet quirky middle-aged man who was the youth director for a community center. I was buddies with one of his son's in high school and landed a gig working for him at a day camp. Jim had a mullet. He acted funny, he did weird things that made you wonder why anyone would ever leave their children in his care. Yet, he was probably the last person who would try something with someone's kids- I mean, he's not a gay substitute kindergarten teacher. Anyway, over the years Jim made a habit of doing and saying the weirdest things. They became great talking points at work, they highlighted our day. In fact the head counselors loved staff meetings for these exact moments. In fact, for a full year I took staff meeting notes of quotes Jim made and emailed them to former employees just so we could get a good laugh.

Here are some of the best one's that I remember of Jim.

From the office thread: We were at the end of the year musical. Parents were there to watch their little kids perform some play. Jim stood up to the microphone and welcomed everyone with this opening line.

"I've enjoyed playing with all of your children this year."

-Jim once told us that mayonaise is safe to eat even if it is left out in a jar baking in the sun all day.
-Jim told us his mom made him have short hair when he was younger. All the other boys had their hair like the beatles. Now that Jim is older, he keeps his hair long and mullet-like to relive his glory years.
-One time, after camp, a few of us stayed to play some pick up basketball. In a very Dwight Schrute move, Jim took his shirt off to play.

-Once, a camper got injured. Jim applied an ice pack on the girls head. She was sitting on his lap while he was applying the ice pack (god don't ask why he thought this was a good idea) making matters worse, Jim was wearing "his special shorts." The ones with the broken zipper. For the next 8 weeks Jim would wear these shorts, which would not zip up properly.

-A local business donated some snacks to the camp. Jim had nowhere to store them so he kept them outside in a storage shed. One day, he passed the snacks out. They were peanut butter crackers and they had meal worms. He made some speech about how they were good for you.

-Jim loved trivia. Every day he would ask a trivia question, and dog gone it, if the answer wouldn't be something involving an albatross bird. For a good three summers, we always got questions involving albatross birds. So one day, I made my campers just scream out "albatross" for any question he asked. It prompted this exchange.

Jim: What bird can fly higher than any bird?
15 Screaming 12 year olds: ALBATROSS!
Jim: Elm tree? No wrong answer.
20 minutes later
Jim: Sorry, you are all incorrect the answer is Albatross.

... im gonna go think of some more now.

 

[pressboxer]

I worked with another dude who lived in a tent in the woods.

this may become the norm

Except for those of us who live out on the plains.

 

[Smasher_Sloan]

Worked with a guy who belonged to a wife-swap club in his suburban neighborhood. We hired a married couple (he sales, she graphics) and he tried to recruit them for the club the first week they worked for us.

Worked with an ad salesman who made up a story about his wife being terminally ill. He spent weeks making calls on clients that were far too big for our paper, and reporting progress. Later admitted everything he said was bull**** and that he filled his time in the bar.

Worked with a woman who ran out of the building screaming when her husband called to tell her their elderly, very ill cat had died. She missed an entire week of work grieving.

Worked with a woman who had some sort of chemical imbalance and had the foulest body odor imaginable.

Worked with a guy who wouldn't open his Christmas gifts until about Dec. 28 when no one else was around the house. He didn't want anyone to see his reactions.

 

[PCLoadLetter]

Worked with a guy who hung out at the shower areas of public pools, offering to teach little boys how to put on a condom. Last anyone heard from him was when he was writing letters to former co-workers trying to find a place to live because the terms of his release forbid him from going near his own children.

Worked with a guy who covered his minivan with massive cartoon murals of Jesus. And when I say massive, I mean he could only see out the windshield because the other windows were painted over. He found Jesus while in prison. (Thanks to him, I'm one of several people in the newsroom who ended up on Tony Alamo's mailing list. ****er.) Got fired when management discovered he was living in the storage area just behind the newsroom, as his wife had kicked him out months earlier when she got tired of the beatings.

Worked with a swinger, which was sort of amusing because (A) he and his wife were quite milquetoast personalities and decidedly unattractive, and (B) he was the weeknight weather guy for an network affiliate.

Worked with a guy who figured out that since his shift straddled two normal shifts, he could arrive two hours late and leave three hours early and no one would realize he was only putting in a 3 hour day. Two of those three hours were spent sleeping on a couch in someone's office. After a few months managers caught on to him and confronted him; he responded by screaming "LIES!! You're all LIARS!!! LIARS!!!!"

 

[Lieslntx]

Worked with a guy who belonged to a wife-swap club in his suburban neighborhood. We hired a married couple (he sales, she graphics) and he tried to recruit them for the club the first week they worked for us.

Worked with an ad salesman who made up a story about his wife being terminally ill. He spent weeks making calls on clients that were far too big for our paper, and reporting progress. Later admitted everything he said was bull**** and that he filled his time in the bar.

Worked with a woman who ran out of the building screaming when her husband called to tell her their elderly, very ill cat had died. She missed an entire week of work grieving.

Worked with a woman who had some sort of chemical imbalance and had the foulest body odor imaginable.

Worked with a guy who wouldn't open his Christmas gifts until about Dec. 28 when no one else was around the house. He didn't want anyone to see his reactions.

I seriously hope you are in therapy after all that.

 

[outofplace]

Given what has already been posted on this thread, I have only worked with normal people.

I have only one thing to say and there is probably only one other poster on this site who will get it.....Corn!

 

[Magic In The Night]

I worked with a guy once who was an actual nudist. Both he and his wife. Once another coworker was invited over there for dinner and arrived to find the dude and his wife completely nude. He, of course, was clothed. And stayed that way. The nudist did wear clothes to the office though.

 

[tapintoamerica]

I once worked with a composing person who was arrested on deadline. Of all the excuses any desk guy gave for missing deadline, this one was probably the most plausible.

Another composing person was involved in a domestic dispute. Her boyfriend kicked in the front door of the paper, brandished a weapon and threatened to use it.

 

[sportschick]

I worked with a guy who smoked dope on the clock with the mailroom folks, but that pales in comparions to all of the stories on this thread.