Judging by Whitlock's last 2 AOL columns it appears that he has become the Milton Waddums of ESPN. Last week it was Stewy on the hot seat. This week - Michael Irvin come on down.
Have a look:
10. You knew it was only a matter of time before ESPN’s Michael Irvin would be ticketed for “bojangling.â€
Come on, if Flavor Flav is “Mantan†from Spike Lee’s prophetic movie "Bamboozled," then you know The Pipemaker is “Eat-n-Sleep.â€
Let’s call Irvin’s critique of Tiki Barber’s planned retirement a case of “When Bojanglers Attack.†All that was missing from Irvin’s routine was a top hat, cane and a pair of tap shoes.
The soft-shoe jig Irvin performed on Barber’s unblemished reputation had to be for laughs because not even Irvin’s “formerly†chemically impaired brain could believe what he was saying.
Tiki Barber and his end-of-the-season retirement are a distraction for the New York Giants? Tiki has sacrificed his ability to be a locker-room leader?
And the man offering this harsh criticism was the former landlord of the Dallas Cowboys’ “White House,†the man who smuggled topless models and crack pipes past Super 8 security guards?
Irvin wrote the book on locker-room distractions and excuse-making. Tiki is writing a book on leadership and how a professional athlete should conduct himself. He is the best and brightest that the NFL has to offer.
And Michael Irvin wants to criticize Tiki? What, did Terrell Owens give The Pipemaker the day off from foot massaging?
An ESPN executive needs to summon Irvin to a meeting room this week and re-explain his duties. In case anyone at the World Wide Leader has forgotten Irvin’s game plan, I have a copy:
A. Butcher the English language to the point that most people assume you never attended a class at Miami or in high school
B. Laugh hysterically when nothing is funny.
C. Defend the indefensible, especially if they’re black.
D. Dress flamboyantly, like you just stepped off the set of Ice-T’s “Pimps Up, Ho’s Down.â€
E. Secure softball interviews with troubled athletes.
Have a look:
10. You knew it was only a matter of time before ESPN’s Michael Irvin would be ticketed for “bojangling.â€
Come on, if Flavor Flav is “Mantan†from Spike Lee’s prophetic movie "Bamboozled," then you know The Pipemaker is “Eat-n-Sleep.â€
Let’s call Irvin’s critique of Tiki Barber’s planned retirement a case of “When Bojanglers Attack.†All that was missing from Irvin’s routine was a top hat, cane and a pair of tap shoes.
The soft-shoe jig Irvin performed on Barber’s unblemished reputation had to be for laughs because not even Irvin’s “formerly†chemically impaired brain could believe what he was saying.
Tiki Barber and his end-of-the-season retirement are a distraction for the New York Giants? Tiki has sacrificed his ability to be a locker-room leader?
And the man offering this harsh criticism was the former landlord of the Dallas Cowboys’ “White House,†the man who smuggled topless models and crack pipes past Super 8 security guards?
Irvin wrote the book on locker-room distractions and excuse-making. Tiki is writing a book on leadership and how a professional athlete should conduct himself. He is the best and brightest that the NFL has to offer.
And Michael Irvin wants to criticize Tiki? What, did Terrell Owens give The Pipemaker the day off from foot massaging?
An ESPN executive needs to summon Irvin to a meeting room this week and re-explain his duties. In case anyone at the World Wide Leader has forgotten Irvin’s game plan, I have a copy:
A. Butcher the English language to the point that most people assume you never attended a class at Miami or in high school
B. Laugh hysterically when nothing is funny.
C. Defend the indefensible, especially if they’re black.
D. Dress flamboyantly, like you just stepped off the set of Ice-T’s “Pimps Up, Ho’s Down.â€
E. Secure softball interviews with troubled athletes.
