Whew, that was close...

[KP]

Heading back to school from a long ass daytrip to Buffalo (for the Bruins-Sabres playoff game), it's gotta be about 4-5am, get off the main road (33/50 @ 682 for the OU types) heading down 682 toward Richland, I started to doze only to have Bambi decide to play chicken with me. Luckily I just missed it.

Another time a group of us went to Huntington, just heading back into Athens, coming down East State and someone made a deer comment as we were passing a deer crossing sign. I made a comment like "Bring the ****er on." Thing bounced away as I jammed on the brake.

 

[BYH]

Driving through Utah in a rented Ford Explorer. Somewhere between Salt Lake City and St. George, heading south. If any of you know that stretch of I-15, you know what I'm talking about. There ain't **** out there.
So, my wife and I are going about our business, it's 11 p.m and trying to make it to Vegas before it gets to be too early in the morning.
BAM!!! I hit this buck. He's huge. ****IN' HUGE. His antlers stick in the windshield. I slam on my breaks. Buck on my hood. Antlers in my windshield. Blood splatter everywhere.
So, as I hit my breaks, the buck starts to slide down the hood of the car. He takes the windshield with him. There he is. He's in front of the SUV, dead as a deer-being-struck-at-70 mph-on-a-desolate-highway. Hearts are pumping out of chests.
I can't just leave him there. Pull the truck off to the side, and get out. What the hell I'm going to do, I don't know.
I go take a closer look, and WHAM! The buck jumps up and pulls the windshield into the dark. Scares the livin' **** out of me.
Now, I feel something warm down my leg. (No, it's not what you think). The molding that holds the windshield in place, went across my calf and I'm bleeding. Bleeding bad. We can't stop it.
So, in our youthfulness, we start hauling ass to St. George with no windshield and me bleeding all over the place. It felt like I was bleeding out and dying of hypothermia at the same time.
Thirty-eight stitches and two pints of blood later I was fine.
You should have seen the face of the Enterprise rent-a-car guy when I pulled in the next morning.

I'm not sure what this wins, but it's gotta win something.

 

[sportschick]

Another time a group of us went to Huntington, just heading back into Athens, coming down East State and someone made a deer comment as we were passing a deer crossing sign. I made a comment like "Bring the ****er on." Thing bounced away as I jammed on the brake.

Dumbass. Even my no-car-to-drive ass knew the deer hung out there. Cursed creatures!

 

[KP]

Another time a group of us went to Huntington, just heading back into Athens, coming down East State and someone made a deer comment as we were passing a deer crossing sign. I made a comment like "Bring the ****er on." Thing bounced away as I jammed on the brake.

Dumbass. Even my no-car-to-drive ass knew the deer hung out there. Cursed creatures!

I was looking past it.

 

[Cadet]

I took my first trip to a Mexican bar when I was 15. Didn't realize until a few years later how dangerous that really was.

 

[TigerVols]

Closest I've come to death was dying...for about 4 or 5 minutes.

July 17, 1985. Hit while training on a bike. Thank God for a man named Michael Lewis, who saved my life by administering CPR. Twenty years later I still pray for him.

Nearly six weeks in a drug-induced coma, but other than some lingering scars (including a frankenstein one on my skull that will never be seen unless my hair falls out) no lingering effects.

The human body is an amazing thing.

 

[2muchcoffeeman]

OK, I think nobody's going to top that one.

 

[fishwrapper]

WHAT THE HELL?

He doesn't beat mine!!! I had 38 stitches!!! I was cold!!!

 

[OTD]

WHAT THE HELL?

He doesn't beat mine!!! I had 38 stitches!!! I was cold!!!

Maybe if you'd been the deer instead of the guy who'd hit it, you'd have a shot.

 

[fishwrapper]

But, but...
Did I mention I had a bad cut? ON MY CALF!!!
He didn't even remember his ordeal. I was awake the whole time!!!

 

[joe]

Makes me very happy that our cars have that switch that won't allow a door to be opened from the inside, because I swear my 3-year-old can't go 10 minutes in the car without trying to get her damn door open.

Solution: Duct tape, administered liberally.

 

[Platyrhynchos]

Several years ago fighting a CRP grass fire. Flames about 15-feet high, fanned by your typical-for-our-state 25 m.p.h. winds. Chief told us to go to the head and knock it down. I'm on the front of the truck with hose in hand (hanging curveball), and a newbie, being the driver, had to get the pump started. F&*^ing pump wouldn't start. A veritable hell is bearing down on us, and he can't start the friggin' pump. Finally it does start, and that **** is so close to us all we could do was carve a path to the burned area. You're supposed to fight grass fires from the burned area (for reason stated above), but when the chief tells you to go to the head and knock it down, well, you do it.
Lesson learned for the newbie (and I knew it but didn't practice it) ... start the ****ing pump and make sure you have water BEFORE you enter the **** storm.

 

[Platyrhynchos]

I hit a cow once.

Did you knock her out
of the park, or was she just
a ground-rule double?

My first Haiku.

Damn. Wasn't that bad, either. I'm racing UTshooter to 500 posts. UTshooter is in the lead.