When good vodka drinking goes bad

[Sheri]

Thursday evening, I head west of town on a non-work related excursion.

Last month, a local rancher rescued me from my own stupidity when I proceeded to travel a road which was clearly marked as unpassable when wet. I drive a car, everyone else in this area drives a 4-wheel drive truck. Or a Hummer or retired army tank.

Anyway, I needed to bring this guy a bottle of amber rum as thanks and brought my own vodka for sport.

Turning off the highway, I spot the storm moving in and stupidly stop for 20 minutes trying to take the perfect lightning/intense clouds shot. Despite the weather warning and my internal sense of danger.

Giving up, I head south and within 20 minutes and no shelter in sight, I'm pretty sure a tornado is in the area. I did find somewhere to wait out the storm - an empty garage I later realized belongs to the people recently involved in a stabbing case I had reported on.

Winds slowed down and I continued on my personal path of disaster to the ranchers place.
Suddenly, the road is covered by debris. I look to the west and there's what used to be a house. As I walk towards it, camera in hand and pen behind ear, the owner pulls up and subsequently begins to weep as I explain I work for the newspaper.

I finally showed at the ranch and tell him I'm sorry for being late and that three of his buildings have disappeared as a result of the tornado I ran into. We load up the cooler, rum, vodka cigarettes and one dead badger I found and tour the country taking damage pictures and counting heads to make sure everyone is alrite. Oh, and trying to find everyone's missing cows.

Slowly, we collect people and other loaded coolers and everyone becomes a newspaper reporter for the night. We were able to use hail for ice cubes until 8 am when we finally weakened. The only injuries anyone sustained were perhaps a few damaged kidneys and a massive headache the next morning.

It seems even when I take an evening off, I can't help but run into a tornado.

Any other similar stories of work finding you?

 

[Batman]

We load up the cooler, rum, vodka cigarettes and one dead badger I found

Glad you're OK. But that sentence sounds like, quite possibly, the worst tailgate party ever.

 

[Sheri]

Actually, the badger wasn't in the cooler. Which is good because it stunk like old worse than the latest Liz Taylor perfume.
We have tailgate parties here too, that must be a pretty universal term, at least in North America.

 

[Appgrad05]

This story has me speechless.

 

[Football_Bat]

badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger

Mushroom mushroom ....

 

[Sheri]

Here's a couple of pics from before tornado and after tornado...
(Sadly, I forgot to photograph the badger - I have a thing for badgers)

Huh - apparently not. I can't figure out how to attach a pic and photobucket isn't putting out this morning.

 

[clintrichardson]

suddenly i feel better about living in new york

 

[TheMethod]

I don't know about all this, but I am curious: Miley Cyrus or The Jonas Brothers? Who would you like to see in concert?

 

[Sheri]

Directed at me? I have no idea who either are, but I'm a pop culture retard.

I don't know about all this, but I am curious: Miley Cyrus or The Jonas Brothers? Who would you like to see in concert?

 

[NQLBLQ]

its the add on the bottom of the page

Directed at me? I have no idea who either are, but I'm a pop culture retard.

I don't know about all this, but I am curious: Miley Cyrus or The Jonas Brothers? Who would you like to see in concert?

It's the ad on the bottom of the page

 

[TheMethod]

My subtle point was, how did AdSense (or whatever program it is) decide that Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers would be a good ad for SportsJournalists.com?

 

[Sheri]

Well, one shot uploaded... here's the sky about 15 minutes before the tornado.

 

[ink-stained wretch]

So it was one of those "I don't think we're in Kansas any more, Toto" moments.

You first mistake was vodka. Tornados do not do well with vodka. Stick to Jim Beam for tornados. Rum is best for hurricanes.

For car, truck, ambulance/train collisions, I find grain alcohol (EverClear or the homemade variety) works best. It gives you the best excuse for puking your guts out, thus retaining your rep has a hard-boiled, seen-it-all street report.

Homicides involving children is a bit more complex. An old-timer suggested rye, Though difficult some times to find, it does seem to do the job, giving the unthinkable a certain panche.

Remember, if you are going to drink irresponsibly, then make sure you drink the correct variety irresposnibly.

You have a tradition to uphold.

 

[Jones]

"I finally showed at the ranch and tell him I'm sorry for being late and that three of his buildings have disappeared."

That's got to be one of my favorite sentences ever on this site -- reads like the first line to a Cormac McCarthy novel.

 

[Sheri]

An old-timer suggested rye, Though difficult some times to find, it does seem to do the job, giving the unthinkable a certain panche.

Around these parts, it's hard not to fnd rye.

"I finally showed at the ranch and tell him I'm sorry for being late and that three of his buildings have disappeared."

That's got to be one of my favorite sentences ever on this site -- reads like the first line to a Cormac McCarthy novel.

I don't think the rancher was near as impressed.