What's still taboo?

[Bubbler]

Not as far as SJ is concerned, but for society at large?

I'll give you an example. When I was in high school, even into my college years, masturbation was a subject no one brought up ... ever. The mere idea of public discussion, jokes, or anything about masturbation was verboten. If some wisenheimer told a jerk-off joke, unless it was a real close friend, it could be grounds for getting pissed. Or at the very least, it made someone look at you or the person telling the joke funny.

Now? Masturbation is as a part of the fabric of our culture as, I dunno, Law & Order or something. I told a masturbation-related joke at work the other day among co-workers I knew would be cool with it, and no one batted an eye.

I'm not criticizing this, mind you, I'm glad masturbation isn't taboo. I ask this question not from a nostalgic place, but out of curiosity.

So what's still construed as off-limits? And I don't mean stuff like making fun of 9/11 or something like that, that's just in poor taste. I mean something that makes everyone uncomfortable at its mere mention.

Is it public discussion of menstruation? Boogers? Bodily smells? I'd like to know what SJ thinks.

 

[slappy4428]

That's not funny.

 

[zeke12]

My friends and I talked openly about jerking off in HS, albeit when we were upperclassmen.

One day it just seemed silly to pretend like we weren't all doing it, I guess.

 

[writing irish]

My friends and I talked openly about jerking off in HS, albeit when we were upperclassmen.

One day it just seemed silly to pretend like we weren't all doing it, I guess.

No ATM reference? You're slipping, my brother. I can tell it's a rough night at work for you.

 

[BYH]

Four posts in and this is already going to be the greatest fun with quote function thread ever.

 

[slappy4428]

Four posts in and this is already going to be the greatest fun I've had since I've discovered Vaseline Intensive Care lotion.

 

[Double Down]

Hetero anal sex?

Something tells me a storyline on anal wouldn't make it past the standards and practices folks at NBC like the masturbation stuff did on Seinfeld. Even if there phrases like "backdoor" were substituted. I mean, can you imagine making a joke about anal with the wife or girlfriend around the office? I can't. But then, they did talk about it on Sex and The City, so I don't know.

 

[Kaylee]

The lighthearted joke I made about scat porn at my family reunion was met with stony silence.

 

[BYH]

Hey, nothing kills the water cooler buzz quite like these 11 words: "Yeah so I ****ed my wife in the ass last night..."

 

[writing irish]

The lighthearted joke I made about scat porn at my family reunion was met with stony silence.

Wotta buncha soreheads!

Probably, ****ing the boss's hot 20-year-old daughter on his desk, video-recording the ATM part and posting the clip on the company website would be frowned upon, despite the general permissiveness of our times.

 

[imjustagirl2]

The lighthearted joke I made about scat porn at my family reunion was met with stony silence.

That just made me laugh...on several levels.

 

[Kaylee]

Also, I lost a few friends over the time I decided to see if masturbation really did kill kittens.

 

[Write-brained]

Hetero anal sex?

Something tells me a storyline on anal wouldn't make it past the standards and practices folks at NBC like the masturbation stuff did on Seinfeld. Even if there phrases like "backdoor" were substituted. I mean, can you imagine making a joke about anal with the wife or girlfriend around the office? I can't. But then, they did talk about it on Sex and The City, so I don't know.

Dennis Miller has a funny line about this, actually. He was talking about how bored he would eventually get with the 72 virgins he would receive for being an Islamic suicide bomber.

"You know, sometimes I just want a woman who'll put a finger in my ass."

 

[writing irish]

Who hasn't made the odd joshing remark about scat porn when exchanging niceties with elderly great-aunts while a few nieces and nephews frisked about nearby?

 

[Bubbler]

One day it just seemed silly to pretend like we weren't all doing it, I guess.

I think America kind of collectively and unconsciously made that call around '94 or so. Just like sometime in the early 80s, it no longer became acceptable to get into a drunken fight at the ballpark. In the late 70s, when I'd go to Brewers games, I'd see a fight in the stands every other game on average. A few years later, they were pretty much extinct.

Getting back to jerking off (eat your heart out, fun-with-quote ****ers!), I'll never forget a conversation I had with this matronly-looking, boring-as-****, zero-brains-in-her-head co-worker at a video store I worked at. The topic of masturbation education came up (this must have been during Clinton's first term with his first Surgeon General, whatever the **** her name was, Dr. Joyce Somethingorother) and she got all squeamish.

I decided to strike a blow for masturbation. I asked her, what percentage of the population did she think masturbated? She pulled some bull**** like 15 percent. I told her to **** off, what did she think the real percentage was? She said 50 percent or something, and I told her it was more like 90 percent. So if 90 percent of the population does it, why in the hell should we stigmatize it in society at large? She thought about it for a moment and begrudingly accepted my point.

Long story short, I'm taking credit for America's embrace of masturbation. Alexander Graham Bell had the telephone, I got that. Just sayin'.

 

[writing irish]

Bubbler, you are the Booker T. Washington of spankin' it.

 

[pallister]

Jocelyn Elders.

 

[Double Down]

I think, honestly, the wall fell down when girls started admitting masturbation. Then the floodgates opened on discussing it in public. I'll never forget as a sophomore in HS, 1994, this girl and I, during math class, were talking about her miserable dating life (she was a year older and way cooler than I was, but had no luck with the fellas) and she said something I'll never forget. "I'm just worried that any day now, masturbation is going to lose its thrill."

I was floored. You could have scraped my jaw off the industrial carpet.

And yet five years later, Britney Spears was writing songs about "The Touch of My Hand."

 

[imjustagirl2]

I was floored. And yet five years later, Britney Spears was writing songs about "The Touch of My Hand."

No love for Cyndi and "She Bop?"

 

[Eagleboy]

I think, honestly, the wall fell down when girls started admitting masturbation. Then the floodgates opened on discussing it in public. I'll never forget as a sophomore in HS, 1994, this girl and I, during math class, were talking about her miserable dating life (she was a year older and way cooler than I was, but had no luck with the fellas) and she said something I'll never forget. "I'm just worried that any day now, masturbation is going to lose its thrill."

I was floored. You could have scraped my jaw off the industrial carpet.

And yet five years later, Britney Spears was writing songs about "The Touch of My Hand."

I had a moment just like that too. Buddy of mine and I were in a physics class talking about the possibilities of flight when this one girl - the stereotypical straight-A+, glasses-wearing type who never talked with anyone but the teacher - leaned back and said "You know, with the right touch a girl can make herself fly."

I stood up and walked away. My buddy's jaw just dropped as he and her stared at each other. She giggled. I almost vomited.