Weird Stuff You See ... Running Thread

[NightOwl]

So tonight I'm headed out for groceries. It's 6:30, so still plenty of light left, and I get in my car and back out of my parking space.

There's a stop sign 30 feet down the road, and when I stop I see this in the middle of the lane facing me, about 30 more feet ahead: This woman is letting her dog take a dump right there in the road.

It's a pretty big dog, too -- looked like some kinda whippet/shepherd mix or something, maybe about 60 pounds -- and it was shorthaired and bent over like a bow, so no way you could avoid noticing what's going on.

And, since it's in the city suburbs, there was some traffic there. So a coupla cars get backed up because the woman and the dog are right there in the middle of their lane, and she just stands there and lets the dog go at it like it's, umm, a dumping zone. And there are plenty of bushes and grassy areas around for that kind of stuff, so I couldn't imagine what she was thinking.

To top it off, the dog was either constipated or caught a sudden case of stage fright, because he was really struggling there to get it done. I guess you get the picture, and maybe more of the picture than you desired. ... Me, I didn't stick around, but I got halfway down the block, checked the rear-view mirror, and I had to laugh, because she was still standing there watching her dog like they were in the middle of a field or something.

Anyway, that's my snapshot for the day. What goes on where you live?

 

[John]

Re: Weird Stuff You See Where You Live

Come on baby,
Get in the road.
Come on now,
In the middle of the road, yeah.

 

[Batman]

That's odd, but have you ever tried moving an animal that's taking a dump? It's not easy. They tense up and it's like all of their muscles lock up. When they gotta go, they're gonna go. You might as well be trying to pull a stump out of the ground. And doing it with a 60-pound dog must be even tougher. Nothing to do then but smile and wave to the crowds (and clean up when it's over).
Hope she had a shovel with her.

 

[NightOwl]

Interesting point, Batman. The dog definitely was staking his ground at that point.

And, at this point, I'm more interested in weird tales from other cityscapes.

What stuff goes on where you're at?

 

[rascalface]

A few years ago I saw a guy pedaling down the street in an old-timey bike. The kind with the one giant wheel in front and the guy sitting like 10 feet off the ground. First and last time I've seen that outside of a parade environment.

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

A few years ago I saw a guy pedaling down the street in an old-timey bike. The kind with the one giant wheel in front and the guy sitting like 10 feet off the ground. First and last time I've seen that outside of a parade environment.

Did you hit him with your car?

 

[DemoChristian]

In my town, there's a guy everyone knows as Crazy Bob (probably a name used for crazies from coast to coast).
He walks or bikes around town all the time. He flips people off for no reason or pretends to shoot them with an imaginary gun (does the whole point and go "bang" thing).
He's apparently a Vietnam vet who lost his marbles. We're told he's harmless.
I was at a stoplight one time and saw him going through the McDonald's drive through on his bike (meaning bicycle, not motorcyle). He was at the front of a long line, so I'm guessing he had been waiting a while.
He gets some supersized drink that looks like it's a freakin' Big Gulp. He starts to ride away and before he can even take a sip on a very hot day, he starts screaming and throws the cup at some invisible thing that had pissed him off or scared him.

 

[schiezainc]

A couple years ago, I was living with my parents and in the apartment above us were my aunt and her roommate George.

George is a little, shall we say, um, out there. He's got some mental issues that occassionally creep up. Nothing too serious, but sometimes makes you do a double take.

So, it's roughly the middle of January. In our fridge, we still had the leftovers from the Thanskgiving turkey (Never found out why, i guess everyone was just used to seeing it on the bottom shelf and didn't think about it).

On a dare, George gets the turkey, tosses it in the microwave and , you guessed it, has himself a nice dish of six-week old turkey.

Needless to say, this was probably not a smart move as about two hours later, he starts foaming from the mouth.

He was fine afterwards, but the moral of the story is that even though it may sound like a good idea, friends don't let friends eat month-and-a-half old meat.

This still, to this day, holds a place in the top-10 of strange things I've witnessed. That and the (at least) five months pregnant (and showing) stripper in the first titty bar I ever went to. I always wondered if I got a lap dance from her if I would have to tip extra because it was two people.

 

[imjustagirl]

Norm's photobucket account. It features Patrick Dempsey movies, claymation figures, UNLV basketball players, shoes and NFL jerseys.

 

[Norman Stansfield]

Norm's photobucket account. It features Patrick Dempsey movies, claymation figures, UNLV basketball players, shoes and NFL jerseys.

That's Heat Miser, you douche!!!

 

[imjustagirl]

Which is...a claymation figure.

 

[BYH]

In my town, there's a guy everyone knows as Crazy Bob (probably a name used for crazies from coast to coast).
He walks or bikes around town all the time. He flips people off for no reason or pretends to shoot them with an imaginary gun (does the whole point and go "bang" thing).
He's apparently a Vietnam vet who lost his marbles. We're told he's harmless.
I was at a stoplight one time and saw him going through the McDonald's drive through on his bike (meaning bicycle, not motorcyle). He was at the front of a long line, so I'm guessing he had been waiting a while.
He gets some supersized drink that looks like it's a freakin' Big Gulp. He starts to ride away and before he can even take a sip on a very hot day, he starts screaming and throws the cup at some invisible thing that had pissed him off or scared him.

This reminds me of the crazy guy in our hometown. Stormy will love this.

His name was Carlos and he was more than a little off. He rode around town on his bike and always sported this goofy helmet (long before people started wearing helmets as a matter of course). He'd hang out at the park outside the high school and try to play pickup hoops with us. He told us he was playing for the Celtics. This guy, unfortunately, could not even dribble, and his sense of defense was to literally jump on you. It was really awkward, but he'd stick around and stick around and kids being cruel kids, we'd finally say OK, come play.

I'm not sure I ever laughed as hard as I did when he was chirping to Stormy about how he was playing pro hoops. "Who do you play for?" Stormy said. "The Nebraska Tidal Waves?"

I think he was mostly harmless, at least to us, and the guy had to be in tremendous physical shape. I remember one time he was talking to us outside our CCD class, and that was a helluva ride several miles from the high school. But I woudln't want to go to his house alone, either. And his name ended up in the police blotter a lot...lots of trespassing charges and maybe a domestic abuse charge. Might have to ask my mom if she's heard anything about him.

 

[Lieslntx]

Some would say I live out in the "country." But since I'm only 35 miles or so from Houston proper, it's not exactly the country. If you have ever been to Houston and the surrounding areas, you know what I mean. Anyway, I once saw a women ride up to the local convenience store on a horse. ON A HORSE. In the middle of a parking lot filled with cars. I may live in the country, but that was just weird.

 

[amraeder]

Have you ever seen a llama wearing pajamas?

 

[Bruce Leroy]

We had a guy who lived a few houses down back in the day named Crazy Ed. I'm pretty sure he lived with his mom, and he always jogged around the block with Ace bandages on his elbows and knees and everywhere else -- and always wore gold chains. He'd play imaginary football with himself. Throw it deep, turn into the receiver, run under the ball and catch it for a touchdown. One time, after running around the block as usual, he decided to hurdle the for-sale sign in his front yard and tripped and fell on his face. Another time he called the neighbors across the street and threatened to shoot their cat if it didn't get off his car. But the best Crazy Ed story? When he was on his roof, pretending to rake leaves off the roof as a cover for spying on the neighbor lady who was laying out in her bikini, and fell off the roof and broke his arm.

 

[NightOwl]

Some would say I live out in the "country." But since I'm only 35 miles or so from Houston proper, it's not exactly the country. If you have ever been to Houston and the surrounding areas, you know what I mean. Anyway, I once saw a women ride up to the local convenience store on a horse. ON A HORSE. In the middle of a parking lot filled with cars. I may live in the country, but that was just weird.

I was in Amish country in Pennsylvania last month, and I saw three horses tied to parking posts at the angle-in parking slots. It was awesome.

Three horses there, parked right in the middle of the cars.

 

[John]

Strangest thing I've ever seen while driving: I'm headed north in I-95, somewhere near Fayeteville, N.C., when a guy steps out from beneath an overpass with his pants around his ankles and his dong in his hand. He was just standing there, facing the traffic, giving himself a ... vigorous workout.

 

[Norman Stansfield]

We had a guy who lived a few houses down back in the day named Crazy Ed. I'm pretty sure he lived with his mom, and he always jogged around the block with Ace bandages on his elbows and knees and everywhere else -- and always wore gold chains. He'd play imaginary football with himself. Throw it deep, turn into the receiver, run under the ball and catch it for a touchdown. One time, after running around the block as usual, he decided to hurdle the for-sale sign in his front yard and tripped and fell on his face. Another time he called the neighbors across the street and threatened to shoot their cat if it didn't get off his car. But the best Crazy Ed story? When he was on his roof, pretending to rake leaves off the roof as a cover for spying on the neighbor lady who was laying out in her bikini, and fell off the roof and broke his arm.

Sounds like Uncle Rico.

 

[NightOwl]

We had a guy who lived a few houses down back in the day named Crazy Ed. I'm pretty sure he lived with his mom, and he always jogged around the block with Ace bandages on his elbows and knees and everywhere else -- and always wore gold chains. He'd play imaginary football with himself. Throw it deep, turn into the receiver, run under the ball and catch it for a touchdown. One time, after running around the block as usual, he decided to hurdle the for-sale sign in his front yard and tripped and fell on his face. Another time he called the neighbors across the street and threatened to shoot their cat if it didn't get off his car. But the best Crazy Ed story? When he was on his roof, pretending to rake leaves off the roof as a cover for spying on the neighbor lady who was laying out in her bikini, and fell off the roof and broke his arm.

Well, Crazy Ed always does live with his mom, doesn't he?

 

[Bruce Leroy]

We had a guy who lived a few houses down back in the day named Crazy Ed. I'm pretty sure he lived with his mom, and he always jogged around the block with Ace bandages on his elbows and knees and everywhere else -- and always wore gold chains. He'd play imaginary football with himself. Throw it deep, turn into the receiver, run under the ball and catch it for a touchdown. One time, after running around the block as usual, he decided to hurdle the for-sale sign in his front yard and tripped and fell on his face. Another time he called the neighbors across the street and threatened to shoot their cat if it didn't get off his car. But the best Crazy Ed story? When he was on his roof, pretending to rake leaves off the roof as a cover for spying on the neighbor lady who was laying out in her bikini, and fell off the roof and broke his arm.

Sounds like Uncle Rico.

Crazy Ed could never throw a football over them mountains. I doubt he could have figured out a video camera to make a highlight tape either.