US Plan to Wage New War to Save Innocent Life

[YankeeFan]

Is it Syria? No. In fact, this new war won't add any additional stress to the US military.

But, it does have parallels to our action in Libya, where we are bombing Gaddafi's troops in order to protect the citizens of Eastern Libya.

So, who are we protecting? The spotted owl of course. And the plan is to shoot barred owls in order to protect them.

That's right, we've chosen sides on the Great Owl Wars of the Northwest:

After repeated revisions, constant court fights and shifting science, the Fish and Wildlife Service presented a plan that addresses a range of threats to the owl, including some that few imagined when it was listed as a threatened species in 1990.

The newer threats include climate change and the arrival of a formidable feathered competitor, the barred owl, in the soaring old-growth evergreens of Washington, Oregon and California where spotted owls nest and hunt.

One experiment included in the plan: shooting hundreds of barred owls to see whether that helps spotted owls recover.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/01/us/01owls.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all

Here's a picture of our new, owl enemy:

 

[YankeeFan]

The barred owl is a despicable regime that uses rape as a tool of war:

The barred owl, a bigger, more adaptable bird with a broader diet than the flying squirrels and the wood rats that spotted owls prefer, has expanded its range westward in the past century, and it is now a more common resident than spotted owls in many Northwest forests. Sometimes barred owls even kill male spotted owls and mate with females.

“The barred owl is the most imminent challenge,” said Paul Henson, the Fish and Wildlife Service’s team leader for the recovery plan. “We believe there is a very good chance of recovering the spotted owl in the long term if we can manage the barred owl issue in the short term.”

Others are less sure. While some early experiments showed success, Dr. Forsman, the Forest Service biologist, questions whether barred owls could be managed on a broad scale, if it came to that.

“You would have to shoot barred owls forever to do that,” he said, “and I don’t think that’s likely to happen.”

 

[Flying Headbutt]

Riding to the rescue....

 

[printdust]

Cost for this experiment: $22.5 million, per day. Just guessing but I bet I'm close.

 

[waterytart]

If barred owls can mate with spotted owls, then the future is blobby owls, whether the Fish and Wildlife Service likes it or not.

 

[YankeeFan]

There are rumors that France is arming the spotted owls. No confirmation yet.

 

[CarltonBanks]

I hear spotted owl tastes great breaded and fried.

 

[holy bull]

Nah. Tastes like chicken.

 

[YankeeFan]

Nah. Tastes like chicken.

Which tastes great breaded & fried.

 

[holy bull]

Nah. Tastes like chicken.

Which tastes great breaded & fried.

Was waiting for that.

 

[mb]

Actually tastes a lot like Bald Eagle.

 

[dooley_womack1]

Picturing barred owls going up to spotted owls and saying, "mind if we dance with your dates?"

 

[Oggiedoggie]

When barred owls mate with spotted owls, we get baby owls with Morse-code messages that the government doesn't want us to read.

 

[waterytart]

The owls are not what they seem.

 

[dooley_womack1]

The owls are all right.

 

[bumpy mcgee]

Nice set of hooters you got there.

 

[Starman]

Owl right now, baby it's-a owl right now.

 

[dooley_womack1]

Owl I wanna do is make love to you.

 

[Starman]

Owl together now.

 

[dooley_womack1]

Who headlines the benefit concert: Hootie and the Blowfish, or the Hooters?