Things you see that blow your mind: The restaurant edition

[BYH]

So my wife and I are out to dinner tonight with a couple of her family members in Jersey. We ate at a nice diner that included a salad bar, and at the end of the bar was a bread station with two different types of rolls and cornbread.

There was a fork in the cornbread container, obviously intended for use by customers so that they could select their piece(s) without getting their dirty, dirty paws on the actual bread. I forked myself a piece of cornbread and moved on to making my actual salad.

While taking some lettuce, I noticed a woman behind me looking at the cornbread. What happened next ****ing blew my mind.

She took the fork and put it to the side of the container. Then she REACHED HER HANDS IN THERE AND TOOK SEVERAL HANDFULS OF CORNBREAD. I was ****ing floored, first by her gluttony (she was sitting at a table for four but she had enough cornbread to feed the Army). I could ALMOST understand if she picked out one piece for herself with her hands. It would have skeeved me out a bit, but maybe she just didn't like the piece of bread that the fork was already in.

But to be that brazen and rude and disgusting to NOT use the fork when selecting a dozen pieces...what the ****? I really wanted to say something to her, but thought better of making a scene.

What say SJ? Was that as disgusting as I thought it was? And add your tales of WTF? moments from restaurants and diners!

 

[ArnoldBabar]

Stop eating at places with salad bars and come join the rest of the adult world? That would be my advice.

 

[BYH]

*cough* eat my ass? *cough*

 

[ArnoldBabar]

*cough* eat my ass? *cough*

You call that a buffet?

 

[Freelance Hack]

*cough* eat my ass? *cough*

You call that a buffet?

Here's what Chris Berman had to say after he enjoyed BYH's ass.

 

[bigpern23]

Quit being such a *****. Good thing cavemen weren't such germophobes or our species wouldn't have made it to Homo habilus.

 

[imjustagirl]

Hey, at least she was in line AFTER you. Feel bad for the suckers after you.

 

[PeteyPirate]

I don't ever use the tongs to grab the bread in the buffet line. I'm only touching the one I'm picking out anyway.

 

[EStreetJoe]

How do you know that the person who used the tongs/fork for the bread before you didn't just get back from the bathroom without washing his hands/just got done picking his nose (or butt)/or changed his kid's diaper without washing his hands, thus putting all those germs on the tongs/fork for you?

 

[forever_town]

*cough* eat my ass? *cough*

You'd enjoy that too much, Beej.

On a more serious note, I can definitely understand why you'd feel tempted to say something to her. If she were in my group and I saw her do that, I would have said something to her. I don't think that's really your place to do so, however.

 

[AMacIsaac]

How do you know that the person who used the tongs/fork for the bread before you didn't just get back from the bathroom without washing his hands/just got done picking his nose (or butt)/or changed his kid's diaper without washing his hands, thus putting all those germs on the tongs/fork for you?

I'm never eating out again. Thanks, Joe.

 

[Batman]

BYH nervously eyes the cornbread tray.

 

[KJIM]

Went to some human rights event here last week, and it included lunch.

Saturday, at each of the 10 places around the table, there was, for some reason, a little plate, as well as a knife, fork and spoon. Can't say I've seen that here before.

When the garcon put the first dish in front of us, everyone just dug into it - an entire sheep. Headless, which was fortunate for me because I was on that end.

Everyone but me simply reached and tore it off with their hands.

It never occured to me to use a fork, but I did sit there and wondered when they'd bring us bread so I could eat like a civilized person.

I've gotten over a lot of phobias I used to have. What's a little bacteria among friends? A communal water glass, my hostess ripping the meat apart with her hands before tossing it to my section of the dish. Cats attacking the chicken carcass soaking in water, and eating it with my host family anyway. Bugs in the macaroni and rice; ants in the potatoes.

I really hope my first job interview post-Peace Corps isn't over lunch.

 

[Frank_Ridgeway]

It pretty much makes me ralph when I see some slob in a restaurant shove his dirty knife into a bottle of ketchup to loosen it up, and then, across the room, I see the waitstaff pouring the contents of one half-empty bottle into another. Unless it's a foil packet or it's one of those Heinz squeeze bottles, I eat sans ketchup in restaurants.

 

[Bubbler]

You should have told her at her table that you sneezed all over the loaf, complete with sinus-fueled projectiles.

 

[mustangj17]

Stop eating at places with salad bars and come join the rest of the adult world? That would be my advice.

Ruby Tuesday is the greatest restaurant in the world and they have a salad bar.

Take it back.

 

[EStreetJoe]

How do you know that the person who used the tongs/fork for the bread before you didn't just get back from the bathroom without washing his hands/just got done picking his nose (or butt)/or changed his kid's diaper without washing his hands, thus putting all those germs on the tongs/fork for you?

I'm never eating out again. Thanks, Joe.

Sorry about that. But in re-reading that I'm reminded of a story from about 10-15 years ago at the newspaper. It's around the holidays and we had one of those popcorn tins out. A guy in the newsroom goes takes his hand from scratching himself inside the back of his pants right into the popcorn tin. Nobody else ate from it the rest of the night.

 

[Sam Mills 51]

How do you know that the person who used the tongs/fork for the bread before you didn't just get back from the bathroom without washing his hands/just got done picking his nose (or butt)/or changed his kid's diaper without washing his hands, thus putting all those germs on the tongs/fork for you?

I'm never eating out again. Thanks, Joe.

Sorry about that. But in re-reading that I'm reminded of a story from about 10-15 years ago at the newspaper. It's around the holidays and we had one of those popcorn tins out. A guy in the newsroom goes takes his hand from scratching himself inside the back of his pants right into the popcorn tin. Nobody else ate from it the rest of the night.

*Projectile vomiting* ...

 

[Wenders]

The worst thing that blew my mind happened when I was waitressing and involved a Jewish couple being so dissatisfied with their salads that I brought them (which was lettuce, our homemade vinaigrette dressing that is ****ing out of this world and a few bacon bits) that they made me redo the salads four or five times. First, they couldn't have bacon bits, because they're kosher, even though I told them they were imitation. Then they wanted the dressing on the side. Then the wife wanted Ranch dressing. Then she said, "no, French." And by this time, I'm about to rip my hair from my head.

At the end of the day, they didn't leave me a tip. I volunteered to take the table since they showed up 15 minutes before closing time and I was saving up to buy a computer and ended up staying more than 30 minutes past closing time, when it was just me and the owners, basically, left, and I didn't get anything out of it. I was so pissed that I felt I needed a treat and took a big slice of coconut cream pie home to eat. (Yeah, best perks of that job - homemade pie.)

 

[Boom_70]

I don't ever use the tongs to grab the bread in the buffet line. I'm only touching the one I'm picking out anyway.

My general policy is to avoid salad bars but if I find myself at one will grab my own bread.
How do you know of the fork or tongs were not dropped on the floor by a previous customer.

I am becoming more and more freaked out at using lids from self service soda fountains at fast food joints. I've watched too many people touch the lids or drop them on floor and put back in rack.