The rejected Choose Your Own Adventure Books

[PopeDirkBenedict]

See the rest at http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=2777

 

[JR]

Pope, thanks.
A very nice break from the election crap.

 

[Duane Postum]

Good stuff.

 

[Chi City 81]

I used to love those books (the real ones) when I was a little kid.

 

[Freelance Hack]

Anybody see Family Guy Sunday?

 

[dixiehack]

Ballgame.

 

[PopeDirkBenedict]

I used to love those books (the real ones) when I was a little kid.

Don't be ashamed to admit that you read Butt****ed by Gayzilla 367 times......

 

[Chi City 81]

I used to love those books (the real ones) when I was a little kid.

Don't be ashamed to admit that you read Butt****ed by Gayzilla 367 times......

Guilty as charged. :-\

 

[BigRed]

Anybody see Family Guy Sunday?

"You saw me! My hand never left the page!"
Classic.

 

[Bubbler]

I used to arouse that masturbating statue more often than Ron Jeremy has self-fellated himself.

That horny-ass Tiki doll got its rocks off something fierce when I explored the wonderful world of reading!

 

[BYH]

PDB, that is outstanding.

 

[Gold]

Pope... if you could use that language on television (well, maybe you can on HBO). that would have made a great Letterman Top 10

 

[finishthehat]

That something awful site can be a blast. Check out their takes on 1960's men's fashion ads, funny not only for the comments but the hideousness of the clothes:

http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=2690

 

[Lester Bangs]

That is hilarious. "Dude, you're pretty much ****ed" caused me to choke.

 

[Bubbler]

My favorite was the pure randomness of Watch Out For The Giant ****ing Head. Also, What The ****.

 

[BYH]

Those books were the ****ing best. They're no longer in production, are they?

I remember the first one I got was "House of Danger" for my 11th birthday. I got all freaked out after I ended up dead. I told my mom and she was like "Maybe you shouldn't be reading those if they're going to scare you." Subtext: Don't be a *****, son.

My favorite one was that Harold Thromberry one, where you're an investigator trying to find out who murdered some rich dude.

As much as I loved those books, they pretty much started to suck after 25 or 30. The first few books were amazing, with like 30-plus endings. They started getting chintzy at the end. it went from "WITH MORE THAN 30 POSSIBLE ENDINGS!!!" to "WITH SOMETHING CLOSE TO FIVE POSSIBLE ENDINGS!!!"

I still look forward to passing those books down to my nephew, though.

 

[JR]

I remember those books coming out when I was a bookseller. Instant hit. And the great thing was, kids who normally didn't read gobbled them up.

And they made a friggin' mint for the publisher. It was a franchise.

 

[BYH]

I also got a kick out of the knockoffs that had franchise titles like "Choose Your Own.........Way!"

These were my favorite though:

I used to "write" my own knockoffs on my old Smith Corona. I was mad when I couldn't find typing paper the size of a normal paperback page.

 

[DyePack]

Those books went out of production a few years ago, but R.A. Montgomery (or the publisher) decided to go back to the well, alter some illustrations and reissue a few of them.

There's even a Web site that rates them.

I have a box of them around somewhere, and I'm sure World Series Pressure is in it. The pages are awfully sunbaked by this time, though.

 

[Trouser_Buddah]

My favorite was the pure randomness of Watch Out For The Giant ****ing Head. Also, What The ****.

For the same reason, "Which one of you irradiated my giant ****ing toast" had me rolling as well as the giant ****ing head one.