Well, it was a column, Harry. I like to pretend I'm a better writer these days. This was written about a month after I moved to GP in 2008. And since you asked (sort of, anyway ... I'm an attention *****), here it is.
Until recently, I could count the number of concepts, comedians and commodities - racism, Carlos Mencia and mayonnaise - by which I was appalled on three fingers.
Then, I moved to Oregon and discovered the list-topper: The absurdly-titled "Civil War."
So, let me get this straight. Organizers of a football game featuring two institutions of higher education decided it's a good idea to refer to their contest in the same light as a bloody, nation-changing, slavery-ending war?
Really?
Sorry, but no sport should ever metaphorically or symbolically be tied with "war," "battle" or any other reference in which people, you know, actually died.
I cringe when athletes and coaches say things such as, "It was a war out there tonight," or, "It looked like a battlefield."
Uh, no it wasn't. And, really, I swear it didn't.
I could be mistaken, but I've never seen any land mines, rocket launchers, battle axes or strategic air strikes during a football game. (For the record, don't send me an e-mail saying, "Oregon quarterback Jeremiah Masoli's touchdown pass to Ed Dickson sure looked like a strategic air strike to me. LOL." If you do, I'll send your name, e-mail address and a glowing recommendation to that Nigerian prince who continually offers can't-miss financial opportunities.)
Be clear on one thing: It's easier understand Stephen Hawking's black hole theory than it is to offend me. I'm so politically uncorrect, I make up words so I don't have to conform to the more popular "politically incorrect."
University of Oregon and Oregon State University, however, managed to shock a shocker with such a poor choice of words. If the universities in this state are OK with calling a football game the "Civil War," what's next, referring to study halls as concentration camps?
Even Texas and Oklahoma changed the Red River Shootout to the Red River Rivalry. Are you telling me those states - I've lived in both - are more progressive and understanding than Oregon? If so, yikes.
This isn't about whether or not you agree with war, imperialism or freedom. It's about compassion and humanity. Why on earth is it acceptable to trivialize the lives of others for no apparent reason?
I completely understand the importance of rivalries. I grew up with Michigan-Ohio State and then lived 10 minutes from the Red River on both state lines.
I know how college football players act, and I realize how fans love to rally behind their teams.
That's no excuse.
Maybe I'm just bitter because I watched my Detroit Lions blow a first-round draft pick on former Ducks' star Joey Harrington.
Maybe I'm just an oversensitive crybaby.
Either way, I've been called worse, but I'm still certainly abhorred by the example the universities in this state have set and would love to see them show a little compassion and reasonability, starting with renaming their rivalry game.
Anything less would be uncivilized.
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Daily Courier sports writer Larry Cathey can be reached at
[email protected].