So how do YOU make friends?

[Mystery_Meat]

(note -- I swear I remember this thread, or one like it, but I can't find it now)

Okay, so it's a Saturday night, and I'm sitting in my bedroom, looking out the window at a perfect spring evening. My Xbox is on. And, barring anything unforseen, that's my night's plans. Again.

When I started my current job a few months back, people from the office invited me to hang out with them. After a couple of times, that stopped. I don't remember doing anything offensive or embarassing, but I've got the kind of personality only tolerable in small, widely-spaced doses. I don't blame them -- there's no rule that you have to want to be friends with everyone in the office, and I wouldn't have fun knowing people were being put out by my being there. Besides, it's not like it hasn't happened anywhere else for me, so it's really hard to hold it against them. Hell, I'd do it too if I could.

So since work friends appear to be out, and being a night-side desker makes being social harder, how do you make friends outside the office? Because this ****'s getting depressing, even for me. But then part of me says "look, you can't keep friends, and people generally don't choose to be around you, so why should you **** up someone else's good time with your ... you?" At which point I turn on my Xbox and settle in for the night. But eventually Mr. Driller gets old, y'know?

 

[forever_town]

The thing is, people make friends in different ways. Sometimes, it's people who work together. Perhaps it's people with common interests. Perhaps a social group meets during the days. There may be some kind of groups listing in your paper or another similar location. Try that.

 

[Prince of Persia]

I just joined a softball team and we had our first practice today. They seem like a good bunch of guys that you can go to the bar with, have a few beers and just chill. Will they become good friends? Who knows, but it's a start.

 

[Clever username]

I, uh, don't.

 

[dooley_womack1]

Incriminating photos. Works every time.

 

[Key]

Sounds like you need to meet people in the service industry. They work similar hours. Plus they usually have the necessary disposition that apparently is needed to hang out with some offbeat characters.
Most bars will be the "home base" for at least one restaraunt. Go there. Watch some sports, get into sports discussions with someone or two, hit on a chick or two. Repeat.
The only downside to this plan is that you'll have to become a bar regular. But I never found that distinction to actually have a downside.

 

[sportschick]

MM, when I get a job and move out your direction, we can hang out and be miserable together.

 

[TigerVols]

Well, I got on The Google for you and found something called Adult Friend Finder.

Maybe you should try that.

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

 

[Kar33mSkyhook]

Friends are over-rated. I thought I had good friends but it was not the case.

I'm in the process of making new friends as well. After the New Year, I decided to cut ties with my buddies including one that I've been "best" friends with for over 8-years. It seems like I made an asshole move but I analyze the relation I had with these circle of "friends" I had and I realized that my friendship was less valued than theirs.

What I mean by less valued is that, through out the friendship, one or two of my interests, plans, or ideas hardly ever came into use with them. But I always manage to fake my interest with their interests and hobbies. But I was easy for me to enjoy some of their stuff during my late teens and early 20's but I'm 25, I have lost all the interests I had 5 years ago.

I know people change over years and they get older but **** when I look back at the years of our friendship, I think we've only done two or three things that were of my plans while the rest were their ideas. Basically, I was an outcast amongst my own group of "friends."

So this upcoming summer, I already booked a few concerts that I'll be seeing alone and doing other things that I enjoy doing. I made offers to these so-called friends but not one wanted to come along. Yeah I'll be going solo but at least I get to see the bands I love.

Hopefully, I'll meet some great new friends that share my interests and hobbies.

Good luck Meat, don't worry about friends, worry about yourself first and do the things you like to do, eventually you'll strike interests from other people.

 

[zeke12]

Don't rule out sucking **** at the Greyhound station.

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

Don't rule out sucking **** at the Greyhound station.

For coke?

(NSFW)

 

[Kar33mSkyhook]

Good luck Meat, don't worry about friends, worry about yourself first and do the things you like to do, eventually you'll strike interests from other people.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention, GET RID OF THAT DAMN Xbox and any other game consoles you have. They will eat your life away, bro!

 

[Norman Stansfield]

MM, the next Grand Theft Auto comes out in a mere 10 days or so.

Grab a copy, and you won't WANT to leave home for oh, say, six months.

Trust me.

 

[shotglass]

Like this guy.

 

[Pete Incaviglia]

I don't. I made great friends in college and have a couple left from high school.

I moved far, far away from home for my first, second, third and fourth jobs and made exactly one friend. A co-worker I still call twice a week to this day. And visit once a year.

I'm a social guy. My wife hates that I talk so much. But I'm a small talker, chit-chatter. I'm not out looking for friends, just sources and people to pass the time with during pre-games, halftimes and intermissions.

I'm back within three hours of home and I make a point to visit once a month. And some friends come this way, too. That's enough for me.

My wife? Very different. She needs friends - even if they aren't really "friends."

She googled our town name and new moms and found some clubs, clinics, etc.

She got a full blown social life in about a week. It was amazing to watch.

Me? I'm content chilling on the couch, reading and watching sports.

I think it's 'cause I grew up in the countryside - 40 minutes from the nearest city - and had a lot of time to myself as a kid. It's also probably why I chose a "creative" vocation.

 

[JackReacher]

It was a little easier for me when I moved 12 hours away from home because I went back to school, and met plenty of people in class and whatnot.

Other than that, though, I don't mind going to the bar to watch a game and every now and then run into someone you can becomes friends with. You won't hit the jackpot every time, but you never know.

Pay attention to your neighbors, too. If, for example, you're a golfer (which I don't think you are), and you see him loading up his clubs, there ya go.

 

[mike311gd]

I don't, Meat. I've made one friend at work recently, but I doubt we'll hang out outside of the office -- at least for a while. The last time I made a friend I didn't work with was about 18 months ago. My neighbors, who lived next door for a few months, invited me over to watch Monday Night Football. I ended up hanging out with them until I moved away. A year later, I watch Full House. That's about it.

 

[ArnoldBabar]

Treat it like dating -- it's all about maximizing your opportunities. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find a person or a group you click with.

Every hour you spend playing Xbox is an hour you could have spent somewhere, doing something, that could carry forward. The failure rate is high, but not as high as Xbox.

 

[mike311gd]

(note -- I swear I remember this thread, or one like it, but I can't find it now)

Meat, was this the thread: http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/posts/1738210/ ?