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[Lugnuts]

Reacher, What if this isn't about you ?
What if you meet someone who wants this more than anything ?
Minds change.
Sometimes they change on a dime.

Guys... Can I get some backup here ???

 

[cranberry]

Meh. Within 10 years, reversal surgery is successful more often than not. After that, are you really young enough to be raising a kid?

 

[TeamBud]

FREEZE SOME SEMEN, Reacher!!! For God's sake, freeze some!!!

 

[Dyno]

Reacher, What if this isn't about you ?
What if you meet someone who wants this more than anything ?
Minds change.
Sometimes they change on a dime.

Guys... Can I get some backup here ???

I'm not a guy, but how is it not about him? If he meets someone who wants a child more than anything, she's not the right person for him if he doesn't. A father who is ambivalent about kids (or worse) is a terrible thing. I've seen it in my extended family.

 

[Vombatus]

I'm with Lugnuts here. Store some extra juice with Ted Williams' head.

 

[cranberry]

I'm not a guy, but how is it not about him? If he meets someone who wants a child more than anything, she's not the right person for him if he doesn't. A father who is ambivalent about kids (or worse) is a terrible thing. I've seen it in my extended family.

Yep. If you both want kids and think you will be great parents and have the means (financial, emotional) to take care of them, fine, bang out some babies.

But kids are expensive and require a huge commitment. Too many parents don't think this through and too many men end up just going along with it to keep their wives happy and end up feeling miserable and trapped.

I applaud Reacher.

 

[Lugnuts]

On the other hand, infertility is one of the most painful things anyone can go through.

 

[Dyno]

On the other hand, infertility is one of the most painful things anyone can go through.

I absolutely agree. But it's also a valid choice to not want kids.

 

[cranberry]

I like to think infertility will increasingly become less painful for women as fewer girls are raised to think having kids is their primary purpose in life.

 

[BDC99]

I like to think infertility will increasingly become less painful for women as fewer girls are raised to think having kids is their primary purpose in life.

Uh, no. That's total bull****. Some women (and men, including me) just would like to have kids.

 

[BDC99]

And if I was infertile and really wanted to have kids, I would be highly offended by your post.

 

[cranberry]

Uh, no. That's total bull****. Some women (and men, including me) just would like to have kids.

So? That doesn't mean dealing with infertility wouldn't be easier for women if fewer of them defined themselves by it. I continue to make sure my daughter doesn't see herself through that particular lens.

 

[BDC99]

So? That doesn't mean dealing with it wouldn't be easier for women if fewer of them defined themselves by it. I continue to make sure my daughter doesn't see herself through that particular lens.

I understand what you are saying, but not all women feel like they are defined by it. Some women and men just want to have a family.

 

[cranberry]

Nobody said all women feel they are defined by it, least of all me. Too many women do, however, and we need to keep changing that perception.

 

[BDC99]

Nobody said all women feel they are defined by it, least of all me. Too many women do, however, and we need to keep changing that perception.

I won't argue with that. But I would think your earlier post wouldn't sit well with those who desperaetey want children but can't have them.

 

[cranberry]

I won't argue with that. But I would think your earlier post wouldn't sit well with those who desperaetey want children but can't have them.

I don't care. Infertility, while certainly disappointing for some, has nothing to do with choosing not to have kids and having a vasectomy. Nothing.

Can we get back to making vasectomy jokes at Reacher's expense now?

 

[BDC99]

I don't care. Infertility, while certainly disappointing for some, has nothing to do with choosing not to have kids and having a vasectomy. Nothing.

Can we get back to making vasectomy jokes at Reacher's expense now?

True. But I think Lugnuts made a valid point. Reacher doesn't seem to think he will change his mind, and I have no idea how hold he is, but things can change with circumstances. Carry on.

 

[TigerVols]

Funny, but it wasn't butts that I expected to see hurt on this thread.

But I should have known better; the amount of butthurt everywhere on SJ these days is off-the-charts.

 

[Lugnuts]

Motherhood does define me in many ways, and thank God ! I'm so happy about that.

The drive to procreate is biological and nothing to be ashamed of.

If my daughter chooses not to have children, I support and encourage her decision.

But one thing I would never want for her, or anyone, is the pain of falling in love, wanting more than anything to become pregnant and start a family-- but not being able to because of a decision her partner made years before knowing her.

Very painful.

 

[MisterCreosote]

Isn't one of the major, if not THE major, factor in choosing a partner whether he/she wants children?

I don't think most people who want kids that badly would even enter into a marriage with someone they knew up front was unable and unwilling to do so.