Snip snip

[JackReacher]

/deep breath

Ok, have any guys here had a vasectomy? I've been planning on getting it for the last couple years, but I think I'm ready to pull the trigger fairly soon.

If you've had it done, please share your story. I need every detail from what happens at the consultation to how long you took off work, if at all. Everything.

Every time I think about setting up an appointment, I remember this story and immediately stop thinking about setting up an appointment.

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/th...2RHHtw.1&utm_referrer=https://www.google.com/

Much thanks.

 

[Steak Snabler]

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

Had it done three kids ago (one kid too late!), about 8 years ago.
It was pretty simple. Out-patient surgery.

Pre-op: The told me shave the area the night before. I'm thinking ok, shave the testicles. I guess I didn't shave enough. 'Cause they had to do some additional work when I came in that morning. They clear cut the whole area!

During the surgery:
I'm on the table, junk splayed out, surrounded by a coupe of nurses and there's a large, flat screen TV over my head airing Sportscenter! It was on the WHOLE time. Not for me, cause I couldn't see it from my vantage point. I had to ask them to turn it down.
It's bad enough you are on a cold table, in a cold room (Shrinkage!) with your twig and berries out surrounded by three female nurses. BUT ... during the surgery, there pressure on the nerves around the testes can also cause some patients to defecate. Not me, Thank God! But I was close enough to be worried. The doctor said its not unusual to release your bowels during the procedure. So, uh, drop the kids off at the pool before going in!

Post-Op: There was some soreness, but no big issues. I think I missed a half day or maybe one day of work. I had a desk job.


PS ... Do you have kids?

 

[JackReacher]

No kids. I'd like to keep it that way.

 

[Monday Morning Sportswriter]

That column was an amazing read.

 

[JackReacher]

You misspelled terrifying.

 

[Chef2]

Had it done 13 years ago on a Friday.
The anticipation leading up to it is horrifying.
So, they call my name. My wife goes into the room with me.
Doctor (whom I known for the better part of 30 years) looks at me and says "You want any more kids?".......
I say "Nope"
He says "Ok then"
So......I'm laying back on the table......naked to the world.
They give you two shots in each nut. (The first shot in each one is what hurts the worst through the entire procedure......It feels like you get kicked in the nuts. Nothing too violent.)
20 minutes. In. Out. Done.
Grabbed a case of beer on the way home.
Sat in a La-Z-Boy in a pair of boxers with a bag of frozen corn held up to my sack for 36 hours and polished off most of that case of beer.
The best part of the entire thing......... after it's all done.......you have to get all the swimmers out of your system.......so when your wife hands you a fresh copy of Playboy and tells you to get busy...........

 

[The Big Ragu]

From that column:

Every urologist is a ****ing comedian. I went for my consult, and the doc had to bend me over and check my prostate. When he stuck his finger up my ass, I squirmed a bit, which is a logical reaction to a stranger poking around inside you. When he pulled out, he joked, "Well, you wouldn't do so hot in prison." HE SAID THAT. Swear to God. I bet that was the most well-worn quip in his arsenal.

When I turned 40, I went in for an annual physical, and my doctor did a prostate check. ... except I wasn't ready for it. I was turned over facing the wall, and I guess he slipped the glove on and went in. ... His quip, "Welcome to your 40s."

I have nothing else to add. I am not snipped. I have no intention of ever getting snipped.

 

[JackReacher]

Had it done 13 years ago on a Friday.
The anticipation leading up to it is horrifying.
So, they call my name. My wife goes into the room with me.
Doctor (whom I known for the better part of 30 years) looks at me and says "You want any more kids?".......
I say "Nope"
He says "Ok then"
So......I'm laying back on the table......naked to the world.
They give you two shots in each nut. (The first shot in each one is what hurts the worst through the entire procedure......It feels like you get kicked in the nuts. Nothing too violent.)
20 minutes. In. Out. Done.
Grabbed a case of beer on the way home.
Sat in a La-Z-Boy in a pair of boxers with a bag of frozen corn held up to my sack for 36 hours and polished off most of that case of beer.
The best part of the entire thing......... after it's all done.......you have to get all the swimmers out of your system.......so when your wife hands you a fresh copy of Playboy and tells you to get busy...........

"If feels like you get kicked in the nuts. Nothing too violent."

 

[Fly]

"If feels like you get kicked in the nuts. Nothing too violent."

Consider the source

 

[SpeedTchr]

From that column:



When I turned 40, I went in for an annual physical, and my doctor did a prostate check. ... except I wasn't ready for it. I was turned over facing the wall, and I guess he slipped the glove on and went in. ... His quip, "Welcome to your 40s."

I have nothing else to add. I am not snipped. I have no intention of ever getting snipped.

Uhhh, I think your doc ass-raped you. I've never had that indignity and I am way past 40. One guy tried and I told him, "Doc, I don't know you that well."

 

[cjericho]

No kids. I'd like to keep it that way.

Planned parenthood has condoms.

 

[Captain_Kirk]

Had it done on a Friday and was back at work on Monday. Procedure itself was pretty uneventful and unmemorable.
Spent Friday and Saturday with the frozen peas on the couch watching a Green Acres marathon on TV Land. Back to normal by Sunday.

The one piece of advice to follow is the post -procedure recommendations. The one sure-fire way to enable any post-procedure complications is to try and do too much too fast. I think my doctor told me a story about a guy who had the procedure done and then immediately went home and banged the wife--his testicles swelled up to the size of a small cantaloupe and landed him in the ER.

All in all, not a bad deal. Where else are you going to hear your better half say: 1) why don't you sit on the couch for a couple days doing nothing and 2) you need to be rubbing a few out...

 

[Chef2]

Good friend of mine got it done on a Friday morning, got pretty well drunk, and went out golfing that afternoon.
Another 6-pack in, and 5 holes later....his face turned about the color of a manila envelope.......threw the cart and clubs in the shed and went home!

 

[DeskMonkey1]

All I remember is getting a Valium and Lortab prior to the procedure and not giving a **** during or after. Went and had sushi afterward
I missed one full day of work but was sore for a week.

Oddly enough, my back hurt for that week, too.

 

[DanOregon]

What happened to the frozen veggies?

Always thought the pro move was to schedule it for a March Madness or the Masters.

 

[JackReacher]

Got a trip halfway across the country scheduled for March Madness. Also don't want to wait that long. Thinking over Christmas break.

Christ. I hate doctors.

 

[Chef2]

What happened to the frozen veggies?

Always thought the pro move was to schedule it for a March Madness or the Masters.

Mine was done Friday of March Madness.

 

[Chef2]

Got a trip halfway across the country scheduled for March Madness. Also don't want to wait that long. Thinking over Christmas break.

Christ. I hate doctors.

Don't be a *****.

 

[JackReacher]

You're the best, Chef.