Simmons Cliff Notes

[maberger]

When somebody finishes reading this 10,000 word magnum opus, would they please post Cliff Notes?

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=manny

Also, now more than ever his stealing from David Foster Wallace pisses me off.

That is all.

 

[Joe Williams]

How old is Simmons?

He writes of the Red Sox players that, in 2003, he saw "one of my heroes" do something or other.

Guy considered athletes his heroes that recently? Either he was 14 in 2003 or he's a doofus.

 

[OnTheRiver]

Baby Jesus help us ... he's footnoting.

 

[playthrough]

"I" was the second word in the story.

 

[DanOregon]

He lost me with "When I was working at the Jimmy Kimmel Show in 2003..." when did Simmons morph into Ted Kyzinski?

 

[SF_Express]

I have to say, the use of gigantic, big-ass art on the web is pretty cool.

I have no interest in reading this, but I like the pics.

 

[Small Town Guy]

I liked this more than many of his Boston-centric stories as he's not a total Sox homer in it and there were no ridiculous shots at Peyton Manning, A-Rod, Kareem, or the 86's Lakers' failure to make it to the Finals so they'd be destroyed by the Celtics. He rips on Epstein quite a bit for basically doing what Manny was accused of, quitting on the team (the gorilla suit days). The footnotes - coming so soon after his little goodbye message to Wallace a few weeks ago - are a bit much. Although it's not like writers should be banned from using footnotes just because Wallace was famous for them. He didn't invent them either.

 

[slappy4428]

Guy considered athletes his heroes that recently? Either he was 14 in 2003 or he's a doofus.

Can he be both?

 

[Cosmo]

Love Simmons' podcasts. Can't read his stories. Just too much.

 

[joe king]

Either he was 14 in 2003 or he's a doofus.

Come on , give me a difficult one.

 

[DanOregon]

One of the reasons I've never been into Simmons is that he's that funny guy sitting behind you in the bleachers who is giving a running commentary, you laugh, but you wouldn't seek him out to sit near him at another game.

 

[bigbadeagle]

Jesus Christ, I just wasted 20 friggin minutes getting halfway through that mountain of ****. Has Simmons not been reading the Boston papers for the past month? The Globe has been writing about how all Manny's acts in the last month and a half before he was ushered to LA had Boras' Gepetto-like hand right up his ass.
Sure, Bill, you're the first one to make this claim. Unfortunately, better writers than you have already beaten you to the punch.
As good a conspiracy theorist as he is, he needs to go work for one of the campaigns. Seriously.
And I'm a Red Sox fan. Have been for 36 ******* years. I was happy when Manny was raking but always knew - like dating the hot girl at work - this would end badly. Adios, Senor Ramirez.
BTW - this TBS Hot Corner crap is getting on my nerves. I hate being blacked out of the playoffs on mlb.tv. What a bunch of ****in ****.

 

[Ben_Hecht]

Jesus Christ, I just wasted 20 friggin minutes getting halfway through that mountain of ****. Has Simmons not been reading the Boston papers for the past month? The Globe has been writing about how all Manny's acts in the last month and a half before he was ushered to LA had Boras' Gepetto-like hand right up his ass.
Sure, Bill, you're the first one to make this claim. Unfortunately, better writers than you have already beaten you to the punch.
As good a conspiracy theorist as he is, he needs to go work for one of the campaigns. Seriously.
And I'm a Red Sox fan. Have been for 36 ******* years. I was happy when Manny was raking but always knew - like dating the hot girl at work - this would end badly. Adios, Senor Ramirez.
BTW - this TBS Hot Corner crap is getting on my nerves. I hate being blacked out of the playoffs on mlb.tv. What a bunch of ****in ****.

. . . but . . . like The Dwarf . . . it really wasn't certified until HE wrote about it.

 

[JackReacher]

Love Simmons' podcasts. Can't read his stories. Just too much.

Same here. He pulls some decent guests and ain't half bad at guessing the NFL lines.

 

[Big Circus]

Love Simmons' podcasts. Can't read his stories. Just too much.

Same here. He pulls some decent guests and ain't half bad at guessing the NFL lines.

And his schtick is much better in a conversational style, rather than just words on the page. He may be a limited writer, but he's a clever, funny dude, and it comes through much better in the podcasts, despite his made-for-print voice. I think it would be fun to hang out with him and Jack-O if they could stay away from the in-jokes.

 

[Cosmo]

Simmons podcasts are about the only way I get through the long drives to football games on my beats. Well, that and road head.

 

[OnTheRiver]

Simmons podcasts are about the only way I get through the long drives to football games on my beats. Well, that and road head.

Whatever gets you through, brutha.

 

[a_rosenthal]

I don't like arguments based exclusively on conjecture and assumptions.

"You just KNOW he'd have carried the Sox."

"Everyone can just safely assume that _____."

I like a lot of Simmons' stuff -- mostly his NBA, and some of his fantasy stuff. But this? He makes a few salient arguments about how Theo also quit on the team, but he just repeats himself an awful lot. Hell, how many times can you bring up the idea that 'Manny left uncashed paychecks in his locker'? Hell, can we even verify this?

 

[Xodus]

If there's one good thing about Simmons is that he knows his NBA. Of course, as a Laker fan I knew I'd have to avoid his column during the Finals.

 

[CitizenTino]

I have to say, the use of gigantic, big-ass art on the web is pretty cool.

I really, really liked the look of that page. That's not really saying much because I'm clueless when it comes to Web design, but the first thing I said when I clicked on that page was "Wow, this looks really sharp."