Sappy thread alert: Boyhood dream realized

[User 1019]

When I was 19, and a young private first class in The Man's Army, my unit (a military police "outfit," as my grandfather would call it) was providing security for a special forces unit while the snake eaters were doing whatever it is they do. We were securing some of their information facilities and training areas, etc. You know, really exciting stuff for a 19-year old boy. ::)

One day, we were working near one of their Black Hawk helicopters, and one of the pilots asked if we wanted to go for a ride. My squad leader pointed toward me and another young soldier and said, "Take them." I almost broke my leg trying to get to the seat beside the door before my buddy (I didn't realize there were two doors ... duh). We were hot, nasty, smelly, tired and ready for a shower after about six days without. But we'd forgotten about that by the time we were in the air. It was awesome, to say the least. Lots of low-level turns, steep climbs and descents, and even a few tricks (flying backwards, etc.) kept me fully engaged and on the verge of pulling a BYH in my pants.

That's when a funny thing happened. With all the air rushing through the cockpit and passenger area, I noticed something. A new smell -- not jet exhaust. Something different. Exciting. Fresh. THAT ****ING PILOT WAS WEARING COLOGNE!!! I'd been sweating my cha-chas off for six ****ing days eating nasty ass MREs, sleeping in the woods, and this SOB's wearing Drakkar Noir (it was the 90s, you know ;) ). Hell, it could've been Hai Karate, for all I care.

Something clicked in that aircraft, and I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Right then and there, three_bags_full was gonna sit in the front seat and drive one. "One of these days."

Well, just under 11 years later, I'm finally gonna make that dream come true. At about 1300 local, my instructor will say the four words I've been working to hear for the past 10 years: "You have the controls."

So, throw up a prayer for me. It'll be rough (if I paid any attention in the simulators this week), and certainly won't be pretty. But it'll be mine.

Sorry for getting sappy and corny on you. Just wanted to share.

Here's what I'll be flying for the next 20 weeks.

 

[TrooperBari]

Congratulations, 3BF. May your flights be uneventful and your landings feather-soft. You may have heard these, but here's some military aviation wisdom passed down through our Air Force family:


If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh S...!"

Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to complete the flight successfully.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up here!

A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum.
-- Jon McBride, astronaut

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible.
-- Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot )

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

Basic Flying Rules:
Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

 

[slappy4428]

 

[waterytart]

Congratulations, enjoy the hell out of it, and may you always have the same number of landings as take-offs.

 

[Barsuk]

Congratulations, enjoy the hell out of it, and may you always have the same number of landings as take-offs.

Can't say it any better than that, so I won't try.

 

[bigpern23]

That's awesome, TBF. I always wanted to become a pilot, particularly if I could fly Navy jets. Alas, I wound up getting paid to watch sports for a living (poor, poor me :)), but it's great to see someone follow their dream to fruition.

 

[PeteyPirate]

Now you've got me wondering if it's too late for me to perform with Liza.

 

[GBNF]

****in sweet, bro. Congrats.

 

[OTD]

t_b_f, congratulations. This is awesome. You're living the same dream I had--although I don't remember any Hai Karate in mine--but I never pulled the trigger.

 

[Inky_Wretch]

So what's your dream bird? Or is any helicopter OK by you?

 

[PeteyPirate]

Wait a minute. Where do the missiles launch from that thing?

 

[PopeDirkBenedict]

So will you be giving rides at the 2009 SportsJournalists.com gathering?

 

[21]

Great story, can't wait to hear more. Hope you wore your best cologne.

 

[User 1019]

Wooohoooo!!!! Pretty damned fun. I don't even know where to start.

I didn't crash, kill or endanger anyone, so that's a good thing.

We performed several maneuvers, the coolest of which was a simulated engine failure (think big ass roller coaster ride), traffic patterns (not as boring as you'd think flying in a square is), straight and level flight and the dreaded HOVERING.

I actually performed pretty darned well. Much better than I expected, though, as the helicopter is actually easier to fly than the simulators. I hovered without instructor assist for about a minute and a half -- that means me with all the controls at three feet (pretty big accomplishment, I thought). My stick buddy (no jokes, here) didn't get all the controls handed to him, and didn't get to hover. I felt pretty bad for him, and he beat himself up pretty hard over it.

On the simulated engine failures, the instructor simply turns the throttle down to idle and we coast toward the ground at about 1,400 feet per minute. That's pretty quick, considering we were flying at 1,000 feet and 90 knots when we enter the maneuver. Then, at just above 500 feet, the IP tells the student to recover power, and we turn the throttle back to 100 percent and increase the power to a climb. That procedure is building up to one called an autorotation -- during which we ride it all the way to the ground with no power. Pretty scary stuff. I'll probably hit that on Monday.

Wow. It was all a little too much to process. I only flew for just over an hour, but it felt like an eternity. It was VERY stressful, but I learned to relax toward the end. Pretty much what I expected it to be.

 

[User 1019]

So what's your dream bird? Or is any helicopter OK by you?

Although I'm an Army aviator, I'm not actually part of the Army's "aviation" branch (think infantry, armor, artillery, etc.). I belong to the Army Medical Department, and the only aircraft we fly in the MEDEVAC mission is the Black Hawk. So, it's Hawks for me.

If not the Black Hawk, I think I'd enjoy flying the Chinook. It's the largest, strongest, fastest helicopter we have.

 

[Inky_Wretch]

I expect daily flight updates so I can vicariously fly with you.

 

[User 1019]

Wait a minute. Where do the missiles launch from that thing?

Considering the engine in the TH-67 (Or Bell 206B Jet Ranger in the civilian world) only weighs about 158 pounds, we ain't totin' no missiles.

****, with me, my stick buddy, the IP and a tank of gas, we were using about 90 percent of the available power just to ****ing hover. It's so light and underpowered that it's almost unsafe because we operate so close to it's operational limits.

 

[User 1019]

I expect daily flight updates so I can vicariously fly with you.

In my new helicopter lingo, "check."

 

[User 1019]

So will you be giving rides at the 2009 SportsJournalists.com gathering?

You guy's would fly to Baghdad just to get a helicopter ride?

 

[User 1019]

Great story, can't wait to hear more. Hope you wore your best cologne.

No cologne today. Just funk. ****, it was hot. It was about 97 today, and it takes a while before we can get the one air conditioner vent positioned correctly.