Running Christmas Emergency thread

[Flying Headbutt]

So the dinner is eaten, I'm all dolled up for church, which starts in a half-hour, and the presents are wrapped. In fact, the last of the wrapping that happened a bit ago is where my problem began here began. I'm putting the final touches of awkwardly folded paper together in what used to be my sister's room. She's staying there for a few days, and over in her bag I spy some books. One of those books is "Heat" by Mike Lupica. At first she can't figure out why I'm appalled. Then she confesses that, as an esol teacher (english as a second language) she's getting it so her kids have a sports book to read that'll be easy but get them reading. Perhaps I should have titled this thread the failure of our education system, but, this is my sister. Either way, it almost ruined Christmas here tonight, hehe.

Anyway, I know some of you will have more legitimate Christmas emergencies (missing presents, broken ones, hopefully stuff that's not really all that bad!) that'll be downright fun for others of us to read. So have at it!

 

[sportschick]

There are far better easy sports books [/formerSpedteacher]

My emergency is that I have no beer. I got to the store too late to buy it, and I didn't get to the store today to get some, so I'm stuck with raspberry vodka. sigh.

 

[slappy4428]

No emergency, plenty of booze and beer, red beans and rice in the crock pot... friends coming over...

And at least it was Loopy. It could have been Fab Five Reasons to have Tuesdays One at a Time...

 

[pallister]

I'm trying to decide which is less pathetic: going home to have a few drinks by myself or going to a bar and having a few drinks with the other losers who have nothing better to do.

 

[RedHotChiliPrepper]

There are far better easy sports books [/formerSpedteacher]

My emergency is that I have no beer. I got to the store too late to buy it, and I didn't get to the store today to get some, so I'm stuck with raspberry vodka. sigh.

I've got some Yuengling and Heinaken in the fridge along with the 5 clears to make some long island iced teas. Anyone who wants is more than welcome to join me for a few drinks.

 

[Barsuk]

We had a minor Christmas emergency a couple hours ago, when my mother-in-law dropped the bombshell of, "Who's going to church with me at 11?," to which we all stood and looked at each other dumbfounded, because we thought we were in the clear.

She played the, "I'm not opposed to going alone" card, which I think was supposed to induce a guilt trip and cause all of us to volunteer to go. But no one took the bait. I think she might go alone.

 

[pallister]

Heathen!

 

[sportschick]

There are far better easy sports books [/formerSpedteacher]

My emergency is that I have no beer. I got to the store too late to buy it, and I didn't get to the store today to get some, so I'm stuck with raspberry vodka. sigh.

I've got some Yuengling and Heinaken in the fridge along with the 5 clears to make some long island iced teas. Anyone who wants is more than welcome to join me for a few drinks.

You tease me so. If you have Yuengling, you're on the wrong side of the country to share with me. . .

 

[Barsuk]

Heathen!

You're damn right.

<i>Somethin' 'bout the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit 'bout to get thrown ...</i>

 

[mike311gd]

I'm thirsty and lazy. Which will win out might be a close call. ...

 

[pallister]

Depends on how far the fridge is.

 

[mike311gd]

Depends on how far the fridge is.

Dude. If you were here right now -- and you'd have to be because I'm lazy (remember? -- I'd give you a beer. I'm using my brother's room for a computer room and forgot I put some beer in his fridge a couple days ago. A little turn in the chair and push of his Star Wars action figures -- he's 18 ****ing years old ... really, Star Wars action figures? -- and I've got a cold one.

This one's for you, Pallister. And the next two to follow. ...

 

[BYH]

Well, this was an interesting Christmas.

Christmas Eve afternoon, my aunt--the one I'm still mad at for pulling a drunk power trip on Thanksgiving, it's in the archives on 21's great thread about her mom with lopsided tits--calls and says she's feeling sick and may not be able to join us for the drive to my parents' house. While I'm still mad at her, I don't wish illness upon her and tell her I hope she feels better.

Late last night, my wife says she's feeling rundown and her throat is scratchy. Probably just a combination of a long stressful day and allergies. Except at 4 am, she gets up to go to the bathroom. I say "How are you feeling?" She says "You don't want to know." Sore throat, head-to-toe body aches and everything else in between.

I say "Can you go tomorrow?" She says "Absolutely not." we spend the next hour looking for antibiotics she might have laying around and any other stuff we can find to try and ward off her illness.

At 8 am--less than three hours after I fell asleep--my aunt calls and says she's out too. I call my mom and tell her I'm coming up by myself, but she's going to have to wait b/c I'm going to sleep in b/c everyone in the damn world is sick.

So instead of three people and all our presents cramming into my car, it was me and the XM. I made it to home and back in 12 1/2 hours. I didn't like not being with my wife for the first time since we moved in together--she said something about me losing brownie points last night--but she spent the day glued to the couch. So I think I made the best out of a crappy situation.

My mom said she was willing to push "Christmas" back to this weekend, but I know better and I know she looks at Christmas as her holiday to host. And she would have been sad if there was no one to host for (I love my sister dearly but she lives a mile away, my mom "hosts" her every night). And I felt better having seen my family like usual, even for a far briefer period than normal.

And still I'm up. Must catch up on sleep.

 

[mike311gd]

Well, this was an interesting Christmas.

Christmas Eve afternoon, my aunt--the one I'm still mad at for pulling a drunk power trip on Thanksgiving, it's in the archives on 21's great thread about her mom with lopsided tits--calls and says she's feeling sick and may not be able to join us for the drive to my parents' house. While I'm still mad at her, I don't wish illness upon her and tell her I hope she feels better.

Late last night, my wife says she's feeling rundown and her throat is scratchy. Probably just a combination of a long stressful day and allergies. Except at 4 am, she gets up to go to the bathroom. I say "How are you feeling?" She says "You don't want to know." Sore throat, head-to-toe body aches and everything else in between.

I say "Can you go tomorrow?" She says "Absolutely not." we spend the next hour looking for antibiotics she might have laying around and any other stuff we can find to try and ward off her illness.

At 8 am--less than three hours after I fell asleep--my aunt calls and says she's out too. I call my mom and tell her I'm coming up by myself, but she's going to have to wait b/c I'm going to sleep in b/c everyone in the damn world is sick.

So instead of three people and all our presents cramming into my car, it was me and the XM. I made it to home and back in 12 1/2 hours. I didn't like not being with my wife for the first time since we moved in together--she said something about me losing brownie points last night--but she spent the day glued to the couch. So I think I made the best out of a crappy situation.

My mom said she was willing to push "Christmas" back to this weekend, but I know better and I know she looks at Christmas as her holiday to host. And she would have been sad if there was no one to host for (I love my sister dearly but she lives a mile away, my mom "hosts" her every night). And I felt better having seen my family like usual, even for a far briefer period than normal.

And still I'm up. Must catch up on sleep.

Sometimes you've just got to make mom happy, sir.