Really, Reilly?

[MidwestSportsGuy]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=4068270

His latest column, er, PR piece (A day in the life of Kobe). A couple lowlights:

"Gods do not park."

" … I'm just very thankful and blessed. It was really close there for awhile."
Even a weekly shopper reporter would follow that answer up with, "What do you mean?" But a knucklehead in a Ford truck is trying to cut in front of us so his buddy can take a picture out of the back window, so I ask, "Do you ever wreck on this commute?"

Do you love it? His ice jug gets a police escort.

He laughs and looks at me like I just landed from the planet Nimrod.

And to think: I used to love reading Rick Reilly. I'm hurt.

 

[Editude]

Feathery light in its "writing," but I was interested to see how long a day a prominent player has before the game.

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

At least he's still clever as ever...

(He ices them for 20 minutes three times a day. The man spends more time in ice than Ted Williams.)

 

[Double J]

I might think it slightly admirable that Kobe and Vanessa don't have nannies for their kids, if I hadn't read about what (allegedly) happened to the last nanny. Regrettably, Rick doesn't feel the "no nannies" point needs any elaboration. No, his morning beverage of choice is much more worthy of such detail.

7:21 a.m. I immediately spill my coffee in the $300,000-plus Ferrari, but how was I supposed to know he'd demonstrate its 0 to 60 mph in 3.1-seconds right at the very moment I was about to sip my delicious venti mochachino?

Oh, how, indeed? :

 

[Lester Bangs]

Rare is the time when Kobe is not the biggest ego in his own car.

 

[Double J]

They made up for it with the bull**** subhead about how he has "already put in a day's work" before the game starts, as if a one-hour workout and a two-hour shootaround constitute "work." Oh, sorry, he also ices his legs and takes a nap. Geez, the guys in the coal mine sure do feel bad that Kobe has to work soooo hard. :

 

[GB-Hack]

They made up for it with the bull**** subhead about how he has "already put in a day's work" before the game starts, as if a one-hour workout and a two-hour shootaround constitute "work." Oh, sorry, he also ices his legs and takes a nap. Geez, the guys in the coal mine sure do feel bad that Kobe has to work soooo hard. :

That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it!

 

[DirtyDeeds]

I might think it slightly admirable that Kobe and Vanessa don't have nannies for their kids, if I hadn't read about what (allegedly) happened to the last nanny. Regrettably, Rick doesn't feel the "no nannies" point needs any elaboration. No, his morning beverage of choice is much more worthy of such detail.

7:21 a.m. I immediately spill my coffee in the $300,000-plus Ferrari, but how was I supposed to know he'd demonstrate its 0 to 60 mph in 3.1-seconds right at the very moment I was about to sip my delicious venti mochachino?

Oh, how, indeed? :

It hurt to read that. I read the whole thing hoping there would be something of value. My mistake. And why do these pompous a-holes think anyone cares what kind of coffee they drink? He can shove his venti mochachino up his arse. Hard to belive this is the same guy who was a must-read for so many years.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

I might think it slightly admirable that Kobe and Vanessa don't have nannies for their kids, if I hadn't read about what (allegedly) happened to the last nanny. Regrettably, Rick doesn't feel the "no nannies" point needs any elaboration. No, his morning beverage of choice is much more worthy of such detail.

7:21 a.m. I immediately spill my coffee in the $300,000-plus Ferrari, but how was I supposed to know he'd demonstrate its 0 to 60 mph in 3.1-seconds right at the very moment I was about to sip my delicious venti mochachino?

Oh, how, indeed? :

It hurt to read that. I read the whole thing hoping there would be something of value. My mistake. And why do these pompous a-holes think anyone cares what kind of coffee they drink? He can shove his venti mochachino up his arse. Hard to belive this is the same guy who was a must-read for so many years.

Did the same thing, and had the same result.

 

[Small Town Guy]

I might think it slightly admirable that Kobe and Vanessa don't have nannies for their kids, if I hadn't read about what (allegedly) happened to the last nanny. Regrettably, Rick doesn't feel the "no nannies" point needs any elaboration. No, his morning beverage of choice is much more worthy of such detail.

7:21 a.m. I immediately spill my coffee in the $300,000-plus Ferrari, but how was I supposed to know he'd demonstrate its 0 to 60 mph in 3.1-seconds right at the very moment I was about to sip my delicious venti mochachino?

Oh, how, indeed? :

I sort of enjoyed it, but as a Lakers fan I'm part of the target audience and can see it'd have pretty limited appeal otherwise. At least there weren't any dental references.

And since I'm married to the best damn nanny in New York City, I do have to provide a bit of defense for all nannies. The lady who's suing the Bryants was actually their housekeeper. Part of my wife's work agreements has always been that she does not do housework. She'll occasionally pick up something or teach the kids to clean up after themselves, but she's there for the kids, not the laundry or dusting duties.

And I wouldn't give any extra applause just because they don't have a nanny, although a lot of celebs make that claim and it's often untrue. If she doesn't great. But even if she did, doesn't mean there'd be something negative to say about her mothering skills. If raising a child is the most important job people will have, it'd make sense to have people around you who are experts in the field and can bring the experience, skills, and love that the best nannies provide. People hire experts for all aspects of their lives, for things that are much less important than their children; if they're able to hire a top-notch nanny (and whoa, let's not call a good nanny a babysitter either) and are willing to pay them what they deserve, I think it's a good thing.

I typed this while sipping my delicious Dr. Pepper.

 

[GB-Hack]

Um, lest the wrath of IJAG be unleashed, you'd better take the period off the Dr in Dr Pepper.

 

[MidwestSportsGuy]

And since I'm married to the best damn nanny in New York City, I do have to provide a bit of defense for all nannies. The lady who's suing the Bryants was actually their housekeeper. Part of my wife's work agreements has always been that she does not do housework. She'll occasionally pick up something or teach the kids to clean up after themselves, but she's there for the kids, not the laundry or dusting duties.

And I wouldn't give any extra applause just because they don't have a nanny, although a lot of celebs make that claim and it's often untrue. If she doesn't great. But even if she did, doesn't mean there'd be something negative to say about her mothering skills. If raising a child is the most important job people will have, it'd make sense to have people around you who are experts in the field and can bring the experience, skills, and love that the best nannies provide. People hire experts for all aspects of their lives, for things that are much less important than their children; if they're able to hire a top-notch nanny (and whoa, let's not call a good nanny a babysitter either) and are willing to pay them what they deserve, I think it's a good thing.

I typed this while sipping my delicious Dr. Pepper.

And whoa, wouldn't think of it! Why can't nannies just get a fair shake, damn it?

 

[sirvaliantbrown]

Reilly has an ego, sure, and there was too much Reilly in the writing, but I enjoyed the piece. Many of the little tidbits he elicited were things even hard-core NBA fans like myself had never heard before. (For what it's worth, the excellent and intelligent NBA blogger Henry Abbott of TrueHoop called the piece a "must-read.") An insightful if self-indulgent peek into the life of a guy we still don't know that well.

 

[pallister]

The life of a superstar athlete is hectic? I call bull****.

 

[GBNF]

**** are you guys tough.
For what it was, that piece was excellent. Reilly wasn't trying to go in-depth. He wasn't trying for Gary Smith. He was trying to be light-hearted and easy, and he nailed it.

 

[sirvaliantbrown]

The life of a superstar athlete is hectic? I call bull****.

Yeah, I thought the "look how busy he is!" stuff was too much. And probably insulting to people working two minimum-wage jobs while raising three kids and so on. But it was interesting to find out just what happens before we see the Kobe we see at 7 o'clock.

 

[zeke12]

I'm just bummed that he cut the scene where he blew Kobe in the car.

 

[sirvaliantbrown]

Also, I'm not sure why you think it was a "PR" piece and so on! Reilly mocks a whole bunch of things - the ice jug being driven in its own car, the fact that the super-rich athlete never has to pay for anything...several others. Read this passage:
--
"Mr. Reilly? Kobe is going to need to leave in exactly one minute. He was mistaken as to the start of tonight's game. Can you be expedited down here immediately?"

"Uh, well, yeah, I can expedite."
--
This is mocking! He is mocking the treatment of Kobe as some president-like figure who must go places in "exactly one minute" and has minions who "expedite" acquaintances out of rooms.

"Gods do not park," moreover, was certainly not fawning! At least that's not how I read it. I read it as another tongue-in-cheek comment on the fawning world that lets guys like Kobe get away with never parking. In other words, Reilly isn't calling Kobe a god. He's channeling the yahoos on the freeway who see Kobe that way.

This, all, is why I didn't mind all the banal "I-am-nice-person, believe-me" quotes from Kobe. When writing about the utter ludicrousness of the man's existence, he has to give him a chance to explain how he's a normal person despite the ludicrousness. Even though he's almost certainly not a normal person, it was only fair.

 

[pallister]

I'm just bummed that he cut the scene where he blew Kobe in the car.

You spill coffee in Kobe's car, you gots to pay for that.

 

[sirvaliantbrown]

(One thing to add to that last paragraph: I think that's what makes the piece interesting - the man talking about his normality while we get to observe him as he lives out his supremely abnormal existence.)