Police Scanner Day

[Songbird]

I'll be gone covering a state championship ****ING HAIRCUT lacrosse game for the next several hours, but this thread could be filled with very funny stuff by the time I get back.

On the scanner, I just heard a dispatcher send medics to a local hotel because "the woman is having a hard time getting out of bed."

So, if you're listening to your scanners in the newsroom today and something funny happens, post it here.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

10-4.

 

[markvid]

10-4.

You forgot "Good buddy"

 

[Football_Bat]

10-4, back door. </boots>

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

It was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June...

 

[joe]

In a Kenworth pullin' logs

 

[Platyrhynchos]

Cabover Pete with a reefer on

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

and a Gemmy haulin' hogs.

 

[BillySixty]

About every few weeks we have a good one.

About a year ago a call came on a scanner for assistance at a nearby parish. Apparently a nun was stuck on the toilet.

Another time a woman called the cops because her husband had been in the garage for the last four hours, drinking and sitting on a lawn chair.

Most of the best ones involve alcohol.

 

[Ace]

Another time a woman called the cops because her husband had been in the garage for the last four hours, drinking and sitting on a lawn chair.

Must have been in Utah. I'm pretty sure that's legal most everywhere else.

 

[Armchair_QB]

Another time a woman called the cops because her husband had been in the garage for the last four hours, drinking and sitting on a lawn chair.

Must have been in Utah. I'm pretty sure that's legal most everywhere else.

He wasn't wearing pants

 

[alleyallen]

Another time a woman called the cops because her husband had been in the garage for the last four hours, drinking and sitting on a lawn chair.

Must have been in Utah. I'm pretty sure that's legal most everywhere else.

He wasn't wearing pants

But he was wearing a fedora and a Joe Montana jersey.

 

[Platyrhynchos]

We had one this morning where the fire department was paged out to help load an extremely large dead individual into the mortuary's removal vehicle.

 

[Ace]

We had one this morning where the fire department was paged out to help load an extremely large dead individual into the mortuary's removal vehicle.

And you thought being a fireman was all dramatic rescues and picnics with mobsters from Jersey.

 

[Geauxdawg]

One time we had an APB called over the scanner for a "Delicious Peters."

Somebody actually responded "Excuse me?" and the cop said again, Delicious Peters -- I believe it was on suspicion of assault or something like that.

 

[Platyrhynchos]

A couple of years ago we had one where the dispatcher informed the cops that there were a couple of skunks fornicating (yes, he said "fornicating") at a major intersection in this small town. Cops did not respond.

(Major intersection and small town just doesn't sound right.)

 

[Matt Foley]

A couple weeks ago I went back home for a few days, (home is a quite little town in Northern California). Its about 11:00 at night, and I'm pulling up to a stop sign at an intersection a few blocks from my house. Parked right there at the corner is a cop, his engine is and all his lights are off. As I pull up, I look over and see that he doesn't have his radar gun out or anything like that, instead, he's playing solitaire on the computer he has on his dash board. The guy was so oblivious to everything around him that it took him a good 10 seconds to realized that I was next to him, staring right at him. When he finally noticed me, with both had a good laugh, and I went on my way.

 

[Mutah]

Wasn't today, but last week some time: "Caller says her boyfriend is hitting himself in the head with a hammer."

Musta been reading Ann Coulter's book.

 

[spikechiquet]

Bringing up this zombie of a thread:

Dispatch sending an ambulance:

Dispatch: "Man seeking medical attention. Bleeding from, umm lower half, of body"
Ambulance driver: "Sorry, can you repeat."
Dispatch: "Man seeking medical attention. Bleeding from, the umm, lower half, of body...well, he's bleeding from his penis."

Every guy in the newsroom howled in pain.

It still makes me twitch just remembering that story.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

You searched for this to post that? :cringes: