Obfuscating language

[Riptide]

Deliverables.

 

[Riptide]

You guys ought to sit in some of the meetings I have to attend ...

The one I get to go to tomorrow will be lead by an Indian associate dean (former professor of accounting) who will, I **** you not, say "in terms of" at least a hundred times in the one hour this meeting's supposed to last.

Then, on Friday I get to go to one with a fellow associate professor who will not only say "as a function of" a hundred times, he'll also punctuate the majority of his sentences with a sharp "Ok?" Further, he'll try to throw a handful of Latin words/phrases in there ... and he'll **** up every one of them. I'll never forget the time he told a senior colleague that he would "deign" to her judgement. Later that day he said we should go to a bar for "an informal colloquia" and he pronounced it "co-lo-kwee-aye."

It's much worse for them. They have to listen to you.

 

[TyWebb]

"Learnings"

I **** you not, my first job out of journalism was in-house marketing and everyone said stuff like "the learnings from that meeting" or "we wrote down many of the learnings from our discussion." I've never been on an actual murderous rage, but I came close hearing our VP say that over and over in a division meeting.

Once I got a little higher up in the division, I started a monthly newsletter called "Use Words Better" designed to correct some of the common mistakes I saw in copy and emails. First on the list was "learnings." I believe that entry went like this:

Learnings: This is not a word. The word you want to use is "lessons." Use that instead. It means the same thing and is actually a word.

 

[User 11148]

It's much worse for them. They have to listen to you.

Your humble correspondent follows this rule when he finds himself in meetings: "Shut the **** up and maybe this won't last so long."

The STFU strategy is always worth considering. You might give it a try sometime.

 

[Riptide]

The STFU strategy is always worth considering. You might give it a try sometime.

Heal thyself, doctor!

 

[forever_town]

I hate it when people use "takeaways" in the sense of, "what are the takeaways from this meeting?"

 

[Riptide]

Why do people write "prior to" when they say "before" in conversation?

 

[User 11148]

Heal thyself, doctor!

Only you* could **** up a pretty good zinger like that. It was teed up for you ... and you fouled it weakly down the first-base line. Maybe you shouldn't have been promoted from tee ball so quickly.




*Well, no, that's incorrect. There are a few others down there on the "special needs" end of the distribution who would **** it up, too.

 

[Riptide]

Hey, whatever.
Go masturbate elsewhere.

 

[User 11148]

Meeting lasted 45 minutes. Associate dean covered on the under ... Only 36 instances of "in terms of."

Did find out that the college's mission statement has been re-written. In it "impact" is used as a verb.

 

[Spartan Squad]

There was a council member in a town I previously worked who would use "relative to" and "in essence" at every opportunity. I think at one point, we tried keeping a tally, but we ran out of space.

 

[da man]

My boss finishes at least half of his sentences with, "You know what I'm sayin'?"

Dirk Nowitzki begins about 80 percent of his sentences with "Obviously..."

 

[PCLoadLetter]

I hate "task" as a verb.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

You guys ought to sit in some of the meetings I have to attend ...

The one I get to go to tomorrow will be lead by an Indian associate dean (former professor of accounting) who will, I **** you not, say "in terms of" at least a hundred times in the one hour this meeting's supposed to last.

Then, on Friday I get to go to one with a fellow associate professor who will not only say "as a function of" a hundred times, he'll also punctuate the majority of his sentences with a sharp "Ok?" Further, he'll try to throw a handful of Latin words/phrases in there ... and he'll **** up every one of them. I'll never forget the time he told a senior colleague that he would "deign" to her judgement. Later that day he said we should go to a bar for "an informal colloquia" and he pronounced it "co-lo-kwee-aye."

So that's where you get all those aureate words from!

 

[User 11148]

Yes, that's whence comes my aureate lexicology ...

 

[TyWebb]

 

[amraeder]

Probably my favorite Simpsons quote of all time, which is a very high bar.

 

[TyWebb]

Probably my favorite Simpsons quote of all time, which is a very high bar.

Agreed. I say it all the time and people usually don't know that I'm quoting something, or that I'm just speaking nonsense.

 

[swingline]

A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

 

[Spartan Squad]

Agreed. I say it all the time and people usually don't know that I'm quoting something, or that I'm just speaking nonsense.

I'll use this when I'm losing an argument with my wife.