... not that there's anything wrong with that

Sports Journalists Forum – Media, Newsroom & Reporting Talk

Help Support Sports Journalists Forum:

The Big Ragu

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2002
Messages
30,281
Seeing as how I have taken to sharing the mundane, but silly details of my life with this board...

I had to be in Chelsea a little while ago. It's a neighborhood in Manhattan that I'd describe as "gay friendly." It isn't a gay neighborhood, but there are a lot of gay men who live in the neighborhood. It's a little bit of a haven. It's not the neighborhood couples settle down in cause there are lots of kids and great schools.

So I got off the subway and I was with a clump of probably 10 to 15 other men as I walked up the stairs to the street. There was a guy standing by the subway entrance with a table and he immediately honed in on me--let the other men walk on by.

"Hi. Would you please answer some questions to help us better serve our constituents at the Gay Men's something-or-other coalition."

"I'm not gay."

"Oh. Sorry. Have a nice day."

I walk two more blocks. There's another guy standing by a table. This guy looks like he stepped right out of the cast of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, except with a harder NY edge to him. Takes one look at me, walks over, introduces himself and says, "Would you like to fill out a survey to see if you are a eligible for a confidential research study for gay men."

"I'm not gay."

"Oh. Well, here is a card, in case you have any gay friends." He then smiled and pointed toward his table. "And please, help yourself to some candy and condoms."

I just got home, sat down and pulled out the card he gave me. On the front is a photo of two guys in low, ambient light, groping each other. The tagline says, "like to party?"

On the back of the card is a series of other questions. In big print: "Hard partier?" "Into guys?"

In smaller print, questions such as, "Are you a man who has sex with other men? ... and a phone number to call.

So on that note, have at me fellas (not literally)...
 
Maybe you ought rethink the Danish chick . . . at least, you know, as a beard or something.
 
Sounds like you've solved your problem from the other night, just in case the Danish goes bad or the shrew doesn't want to compromise her "standards" ... not that there's anything wrong with that either...
 
There's a Chelsea up here, too. Couple punk teens from there killed married Dartmouth professors a few years ago.
 
Actually, a small part of me is regretting not having helped myself to some candy and condoms... Just so I could say I did.
 
The Big Ragu said:
Actually, a small part of me is regretting not having helped myself to some candy and condoms... Just so I could say I did.
Take it to work for show and tell....
 
Ragu --
I'd say your life has gone from 0 to 60 interesting-wise in about two weeks.
I love New York.
 
I've shared a room with you and I'm still not sure you're not gay. I have to decide whose story to believe: yours or Pete's.

:D
 
imjustagirl said:
I've shared a room with you and I'm still not sure you're not gay. I have to decide whose story to believe: yours or Pete's.
Lemme, guess. He was wearing that nightgown thing he had on in his sig pic.

I'd have to guess, based on the people that stalk him on this site, that certain dudes dig Ragu.
 
Idaho said:
imjustagirl said:
I've shared a room with you and I'm still not sure you're not gay. I have to decide whose story to believe: yours or Pete's.
Lemme, guess. He was wearing his SportsJournalists.com thong. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I'd have to guess, based on the people that stalk him on this site, that certain dudes dig Ragu.
 
I've never been approached for a gay market study on the street. My suggestion, Ragu, is to drag a few small children around with you.

Unless you're a GOP congressman or dressed like Gary Glitter, no one will suspect you of being anything but straight. And the Dutch chicks will leave you alone, too.
 
Idaho said:
I've never been approached for a gay market study on the street. My suggestion, Ragu, is to drag a few small children around with you.

Unless you're a GOP congressman or dressed like Gary Glitter, no one will suspect you of being anything but straight. And the Dutch chicks will leave you alone, too.

This is just a guess, but I'm thinking they don't do a lot of gay surveys in SLC or southern Idaho. I could be wrong, of course.
 
Ragu...you probably shouldn't wear your chaps and pink boa next time you're in Chelsea. ;D
 
OTD said:
Idaho said:
I've never been approached for a gay market study on the street. My suggestion, Ragu, is to drag a few small children around with you.

Unless you're a GOP congressman or dressed like Gary Glitter, no one will suspect you of being anything but straight. And the Dutch chicks will leave you alone, too.

This is just a guess, but I'm thinking they don't do a lot of gay surveys in SLC or southern Idaho. I could be wrong, of course.
Only in Provo and Rexburg
 
imjustagirl said:
I've shared a room with you and I'm still not sure you're not gay. I have to decide whose story to believe: yours or Pete's.

:D

Why would you say that? Have you ever seen me dancing around singing show tunes or anything like that?
 
The Big Ragu said:
Actually, a small part of me is regretting not having helped myself to some candy and condoms... Just so I could say I did.

I was just about the say, I would have walked over and picked up all the Magnums.
 
gandhithegreat said:
The Big Ragu said:
Actually, a small part of me is regretting not having helped myself to some candy and condoms... Just so I could say I did.

I was just about the say, I would have walked over and picked up all the Magnums.
But wouldn't that be kind of like dating a girl that stuffs her bra? Kind of impressive to see in the bedstand/sweater, but then reality happens.
 
The Big Ragu said:
imjustagirl said:
I've shared a room with you and I'm still not sure you're not gay. I have to decide whose story to believe: yours or Pete's.

:D

Why would you say that? Have you ever seen me dancing around singing show tunes or anything like that?

It's called overcompensation. You were too busy scratching your crotch and talking about football.
 
imjustagirl said:
The Big Ragu said:
imjustagirl said:
I've shared a room with you and I'm still not sure you're not gay. I have to decide whose story to believe: yours or Pete's.

:D

Why would you say that? Have you ever seen me dancing around singing show tunes or anything like that?

It's called overcompensation. You were too busy scratching your crotch and talking about football.

Yeah, but I counterbalanced it by tongue-kissing Jones.
 
You may or may not be gay. I am, most definitely, not hungry any more.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top