Need some advice on long distance relationships

[KYSportsWriter]

I recently met a girl and am starting to fall hard for her. The only thing is she lives six hours away from me in Michigan. I've been in long distance relationships before, but never have I dated someone who lived so far away from me.

For those of you in relationships like this, how do you deal with the distance? How often do you get to see your significant other?

I think I'm falling in love with this girl and I just hate being so far away from her. We talk on the phone every night and I learn new and great and exciting things about her everyday.

And please, I only want serious comments on this. If you have something stupid to say, send it to me in a PM...or something.

 

[User 1019]

There's a job open in Ann Arbor.

Seriously, if you love her ... and you're sure she feels the same way ... there are only two answers: 1.) bring her to Kentucky or 2.) head to Michigan.

 

[shockey]

visit as often as you can. if you finally agree that you're both in love, somebody has to make a move so you can be together.

i was in the same situation with a woman who lived 3,000 miles away. fell head over heels. after seven months, she was brave enough to commit to moving to be with me.

now that's a loving commitment. telephone calls are only enough for so long. if it's true love, you can make it work.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

There's a job open in Ann Arbor.

Seriously, if you love her ... and you're sure she feels the same way ... there are only two answers: 1.) bring her to Kentucky or 2.) head to Michigan.

I wish I could bring her here, but....

She is a paraplegic who had stem cell surgery performed last year and she's at the best rehab facility in the nation in Detroit. Moving her down here wouldn't do any good for her because she's already gained so much from the surgery and therapy.

And yeah, I'm sure we feel the same way about each other. And we have talked about me either moving there or her moving here, which wouldn't be good for her for reasons listed above.

And shockey, I plan on visiting as much as I can. I'm wanting to go up there for Valentine's Day just to surprise her, but I don't know how feasible that is right now. I might not be able to do it for financial reasons.

All I know is I've fallen head over heels for her and want to be with her any way possible.

 

[Cadet]

Get on one of those "free calls to your five favorite people" plans or your phone bills are going to suck.

 

[melock]

Be absolutely sure you know what you want when deciding whether to move or ask her to move. I had a buddy give up a decent paying job to be with a woman he met right before he left for the place we worked together. They got engaged, he moved back to live with her and several of her children and they were broken up two months later. Moral of the story is don't make a move without being 100 percent sure. Good luck to you sir!

 

[Overrated]

Man KY, this couldn't hit any closer to home for me.

I met a girl - also in Michigan - right before I took a job more than 1,000 miles away.

We talked for a month and went out a few times before the job came up. I left, but she said she didn't want to stop dating and I agreed because she seemed special.

Three months later, we talk on the phone every night, send text messages all day and she comes down every few weeks.

I'm not sure what advice to give to give, I just wanted to say you have a friend in the same boat.

It sounds like you care about the woman the same way I do...I've never said "I love you" to anyone I was dating, but I can say I've never cared this much about anyone.

Maybe it's better this way for the time being because it forces both parties to focus on mental attraction instead of just physical. I'm guessing it'll lead to a truer romance.

At any rate, best of luck. And, don't give up just because it's far.

 

[Pancamo]

How long have you known her? The distance might be creating an utopia that isn't really there. Don't rush into anything.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

How did I handle it? By breaking up and finding someone closer.

Sorry to rain on some parades. I've done it way more often than I'd prefer, often enough to, you would assume, have learned my lesson. It's too damn difficult to maintain. They just rarely ever work. And the costs can quickly add up.

*preparing for the outpouring of condemnation I'm about to get, especially from my good buddies 21 and Boomer*

 

[KYSportsWriter]

How long have you known her? The distance might be creating an utopia that isn't really there. Don't rush into anything.

We met a week ago today, actually.

 

[Trouser_Buddah]

You met a week ago today and you have both started talking about moving? Wow. Please take your time and make sure this is right...otherwise you could be making a terrible mistake that could take you years to recover from...

Good luck.

 

[Cadet]

You met a week ago today and you have both started talking about moving? Wow. Please take your time and make sure this is right...otherwise you could be making a terrible mistake that could take you years to recover from...

Good luck.

Ditto. If she's the one, she'll still be the one in six months, a year, five years.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

How long have you known her? The distance might be creating an utopia that isn't really there. Don't rush into anything.

We met a week ago today, actually.

Have your puppy love fun for another couple of weeks. Reality will hit you, but it doesn't mean you can't enjoy it for now.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

You met a week ago today and you have both started talking about moving? Wow. Please take your time and make sure this is right...otherwise you could be making a terrible mistake that could take you years to recover from...

Good luck.

Buddah, I have never been more sure of ANYTHING in my life. I know I'm only 21 and she's 20 and that's saying a lot, but this girl is the girl of my dreams. Like someone told me, when you know you know.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

You met a week ago today and you have both started talking about moving? Wow. Please take your time and make sure this is right...otherwise you could be making a terrible mistake that could take you years to recover from...

Good luck.

Buddah, I have never been more sure of ANYTHING in my life. I know I'm only 21 and she's 20 and that's saying a lot, but this girl is the girl of my dreams. Like someone told me, when you know you know.

Dude, I'll bet you 50 bucks you're way wrong. After one week you know? You must be high as a kite.

 

[audreyld]

For your own sanity, slow it down, man. Seriously.

 

[Cadet]

Sportswriters are not known for their brilliance in matters of the heart. There are many war stories among us here.

I echo UT... take it slow. Even if your heart is telling you one thing, there are many factors that have to come together for things to work out. Timing is one of them.

 

[Pancamo]

If I moved for every girl I knew a week when I was 21, I would have been moving every damn week. Dude, sorry to pee in your cheerios but you won't know this girl in a month. She might be a wonderful person but one week doesn't mean love unless you are in 3rd grade.

 

[spup1122]

I guess Doc and I are the exception to the rule.

 

[Trouser_Buddah]

KY,
Nobody wants to have their parade rained on when they are feeling the way that you do, I understand that.
But I think everyone here over the age of, say, 25, has been in a similar position, long distance aside, where they felt something was really special. Looking back, there have been several relationships where certain things happened and I said to myself, "This has to be the one."

Obviously for me, that turned out not to be the case. The bottom line is, what are the benefits of hurrying? Not many...

The benefits of slowing down and letting things develop are great...

Again, good luck.