mixing dating and work

[Craig Sagers Tailor]

I guess this is vaguely a journalism topic, so here it goes.

Is it unethical to date one of the prep coaches at a school you cover? I live out in the middle of nowhere where the cute girl ratio is 1:a number significantly higher than 1. I could see it being a bigger deal if she was a head coach, but the girl in question is an assistant coach (at least for the time being), so its not like I would work with her that much anyway. I've chit-chatted with her a couple times at games and felt like there was a mutual feeling going on. A few weeks ago before one of the team practices, I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch one day when school let out and she said ok, but seemed sort of wishy-washy about it. I was thinking of getting up with her about it this week. Worst-Case scenario, she says no and I feel awkward around her next few times I'm covering their games.

Or would there be something worse to it? thoughts? Smart-assed responses are encouraged

 

[slappy4428]

Better a coach than the players, I suppose.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Not the most perfect situation, but if you're in that remote an area, oh well.

Anything could be seen as a conflict of interest. Heck, if you fall and break your leg, are you not supposed to go to the local hospital because you may have to interview someone there for a story?

If it was a big city, then yeah, you should probably look elsewhere. But if you're in Podunk, then what are you supposed to do? Sit and stare at your four walls every Saturday night?

 

[NoOneLikesUs]

Go for it.

There are people doing far for corrupt and unethical things in their line of work in this world. At least they're getting paid for it. You're not.

 

[Harry Doyle]

If it was a big city, then yeah, you should probably look elsewhere. But if you're in Podunk, then what are you supposed to do? Sit and stare at your four walls every Saturday night?

Put a poster of Elle Macpherson on one of them walls and buck up.

Agree that it's not an ideal situation, but whatever. The situation you don't want is one in which the reporter is pathetically lusting after a coach, when she's clearly not interested and he becomes a known creeper. Soon all the girls tell jokes about you, but only because humor is the simplest way to cover up fear. Parents won't let you talk to their children. Your editors see you and shake their heads. You have a worse reputation than the garlic-cheese-jalapeno tater tots down at Lumpy's Tavern. The irony becomes that the only women interested in you are the ones who frequent Lumpy's.

Try to avoid that.

 

[schiezainc]

I say go for it but if anything beyond a simple date occurs (I.E. If you start a relationship or if you give her the shocker), I'd say you should try to avoid covering their games when possible. She's an assistant coach now but if she moves up and you have to cover them, it's going to be more trouble than it's worth.

Unless she's hot. If she's hot, go for it.

 

[da man]

**** her!

 

[RedSmithClone]

you only live once.

I'd say this if she were the head coach as well. You never really know what life has in store for you. If this one date were to turn into more and wow, you found your soulmate, the fact that she's a high school coach is meaningless in my book. I've lived too long alone and learned that there are more important things in life to worry about than violating such a silly codeof ethics. As long as she knows this doesn't mean special treatment for her team, I see no problem at all.

 

[Batman]

you only live once.

I'd say this if she were the head coach as well. You never really know what life has in store for you. If this one date were to turn into more and wow, you found your soulmate, the fact that she's a high school coach is meaningless in my book. I've lived too long alone and learned that there are more important things in life to worry about than violating such a silly codeof ethics. As long as she knows this doesn't mean special treatment for her team, I see no problem at all.

Bingo. If it turns into a relationship, you can even make her give you a blowjob every time she fails to call in a score.

 

[Batman]

If it was a big city, then yeah, you should probably look elsewhere. But if you're in Podunk, then what are you supposed to do? Sit and stare at your four walls every Saturday night?

Put a poster of Elle Macpherson on one of them walls and buck up.

Agree that it's not an ideal situation, but whatever. The situation you don't want is one in which the reporter is pathetically lusting after a coach, when she's clearly not interested and he becomes a known creeper. Soon all the girls tell jokes about you, but only because humor is the simplest way to cover up fear. Parents won't let you talk to their children. Your editors see you and shake their heads. You have a worse reputation than the garlic-cheese-jalapeno tater tots down at Lumpy's Tavern. The irony becomes that the only women interested in you are the ones who frequent Lumpy's.

Try to avoid that.

Ummm....speaking from experience there, Harry?

 

[Smasher_Sloan]

Great idea! One-stop shopping to screw up every aspect of your life at once. Because in Podunk, it will be at least 10 minutes before everyone knows about it.

Maybe you can bang a couple of players' moms, too.

 

[da man]

Great idea! One-stop shopping to screw up every aspect of your life at once. Because in Podunk, it will be at least 10 minutes before everyone knows about it.

Maybe you can bang a couple of players' moms, too.

You know, Brittany Britney Brittni's mom is pretty hot, and I think I saw her checking you out.

 

[BTExpress]

Ask yourself how much your paper's publisher or owner has thought about ethics the past two years.

 

[spaceman]

go for it

you can always move if it blows up

 

[da man]

True story:

Years ago, a female sportswriter -- let's call her Debbie -- who covered high schools at the paper I worked for started dating an assistant football coach from one of the schools. She did not tell the sports editor. One night, the SE is watching the local major league baseball team on TV, and, as happens occasionally, the camera zooms in on a passionate couple making out in the stands. SE looks and says to himself, "Wow, that looks like Debbie." Eventually he realizes it is Debbie. And he also realizes who that is she's making out with.

The next day, she's called on the carpet for conflict of interest. Not long after, she was reassigned away from sports. Eventually, she and the coach were married and she wound up back in sports covering a college beat.

Not sure what the moral of the story is, but there you have it.

 

[steveu]

If you date a coach in your beat, then if that school's in a tournament that you're slated to cover then try to assign someone else to the tournament. Likewise for duals.

I don't see anything wrong with it. Hell, like others have said, if your soulmate happens to be a coach and the two of you already like sports, then you've got one big thing in common right there.

 

[Mark2010]

Interesting scenario. Not too much different than a salesperson getting involved with a client.

On the one hand, we strive to always be professional. On the other hand, where do you meet people? Of the prime areas is in the workplace arena.

So..... my input would be that's its OK to ask her out off the clock and see if she's interested. Take it slowly and see what develops both personally and professionally. Don't do anything you would regret becoming public knowledge. You might lose a beat (or a job) but gain a soulmate.

 

[Football_Bat]

Bone it like you own it.

 

[Shoeless Joe]

I can probably answer this as well as anyone. The only difference is I dated a head coach for a time. I had been covering the team for a couple of years and one summer the coach and I ran into each other and started talking. One thing led to another and eventually the subject of going out came up, so we did. This led to a relationship that lasted through three seasons with me covering the team. She understood that they got no special treatment, and that was fine.

She ultimately got out of coaching ... and we got married, which we have been happily ever since.

So, my suggestion is screw whatever work tells you is ethical or not. Do what feels right. Your job is just that, a job, not your life.

Had it gone wrong, yeah it would have been a major uncomfortable problem. But, you can't worry about what "might happen" all the time. What might happen is that it leads to something special, but you won't know until you try. If it doesn't work out, deal with that when the time comes.

If someone at work gives you grief, tell them what you do on your own time is your business.

 

[CR19]

I don't see the problem. However, if you have another writer on staff, try to have them cover her team instead of yourself. If you're the lone writer, make sure there's no bias in how you write. Other than that, go ahead.