Johnny plays hard

[KYSportsWriter]

I just lost a couple brain cells reading that.

 

[Starman]

You can't make this up. Here is an actual email we received this morning:


My name is Danielle and I'm a proud mother of Johnny. Johnny is on the football team for XXXXX middle school. He just told me to day that him and his team mates got screwed!

call the cops

 

[geddymurphy]

I remember being lectured over the phone at one point that it was so typical of the liberal media not to send reporters to middle school lacrosse games.

If you're that "anti-liberal," wouldn't you think sending a reporter to cover one of the least interesting of the couple hundred scholastic sports events in the area would be exactly the kind of idiotic allocation of resources you'd expect from the "liberal media"?

You should have said that your coverage was fiscally conservative.

Dang -- should've thought of that. Nice one.

 

[Stitch]

I remember being lectured over the phone at one point that it was so typical of the liberal media not to send reporters to middle school lacrosse games.

If you're that "anti-liberal," wouldn't you think sending a reporter to cover one of the least interesting of the couple hundred scholastic sports events in the area would be exactly the kind of idiotic allocation of resources you'd expect from the "liberal media"?

You should have said that your coverage was fiscally conservative.

Dang -- should've thought of that. Nice one.

Got a teacher pull so-so works so hard and he came from a serious illness to play football this year after missing last season. Too bad she must not keep track of his wrestling season, since he made state. Getting the kids stats right would help as well. He isn't the best running back. Probably the sixth-best on the team.

 

[outofplace]

That's an unusual letter.

Usually the parents won't let on that they have a vested interest in the team or a player. They act like it's some huge story the paper is going to miss out on.

True, but I doubt this woman has the mental capacity to come up with something like that.

 

[Shoeless Joe]

Y'all will be happy to know that Johnny and his teammates didn't get screwed after all. They've received a playoff bid. All is well, and the youngsters can go ahead and study hard without fear of being crapped on.

(and just for clarification, the kid's name is Johnny. that's what makes it so funny.)

 

[HanSenSE]

Y'all will be happy to know that Johnny and his teammates didn't get screwed after all. They've received a playoff bid. All is well, and the youngsters can go ahead and study hard without fear of being crapped on.

(and just for clarification, the kid's name is Johnny. that's what makes it so funny.)

Would hate to think the kids would be scarred for life by this. You're sending the whole staff out to cover, right?

 

[Smallpotatoes]

Y'all will be happy to know that Johnny and his teammates didn't get screwed after all. They've received a playoff bid. All is well, and the youngsters can go ahead and study hard without fear of being crapped on.

(and just for clarification, the kid's name is Johnny. that's what makes it so funny.)

Would hate to think the kids would be scarred for life by this. You're sending the whole staff out to cover, right?

Live blogging, too, right?

 

[Shoeless Joe]

I'll talk to advertising and see if we can arrange a 24-page tab.

 

[UNCGrad]

Ah, you know advertising. Better ask for 48 pages if you want 24...

 

[Killick]

Oh, Lord. Parents. Covered a HS football game tonite — a real ass-whipping (52-0 at halftime). At one point, students carrying the home team banner run up and down the sideline... and accidentally collide with one of the visitor's cheerleaders. Parents get all bat**** crazy.

Dude stopped, helped her up and she was okay enuf to continue cheering the rest of the game. Whatev.

After the game, waiting for the coach, I had three parents of the visitors see my credentials and tell me that I should print how "unsportsman-like" the home fans are, about how charges should be filed with the police, etc. Only... they were serious.

"Little Jill's mom is right over there if you want to talk to her," prodded one.

"My brother-in-law's a cop. I already called him and told him what happened. He says we should file a report," says another.

Another asked me for my phone number so he could get some more info and call me later with it. Also, he said, I could be a witness for the police report.

Uh... no.

 

[Shoeless Joe]

My response would be a polite "I can't be a witness. I was busy working, watching the field of play. Sorry. As for the information you might have if there are charges filed, you'll need to speak with someone in news. I'm in sports. We don't handle that."
Then run like hell.

 

[Killick]

My own stupidity, too. I usually tuck the credentials under my shirt if I'm going to be waiting around where parents are. Didn't last night. Should've.