Is there an app for that?

[Vombatus]

So, I am at a bar, and a couple of middle aged women have looked my way (not in disgust). They are together, and with a third woman. None have rings, all have smartphones.

I wonder if anyone can develop an app to message nearby bar patrons.

I'd like to send a message "how bout a three way or four way?"

It is my birthday! For my 50th, I deserve kinky sex.

Or at least a free beer.

 

[User 1019]

Tinder

 

[Jake_Taylor]

I, for one, can't wait to read how this night ends. Do they have intricate stitching and or sequins on the back pockets of their jeans?

 

[User 1019]

Or, grow a set of old, wrinkly balls and walk to the table with three drinks.

 

[Vombatus]

Uh oh. Village People's YMCA is playing in the bar.

 

[da man]

Uh oh. Village People's YMCA is playing in the bar.

How could it be more perfect?

 

[Spartan Squad]

******* it, buy some shots for their table, walk them over there and see where the hell it leads. Do some dancing to YMCA and then follow it up with a little KC and the Sunshine Band at a VIP venue.

 

[Riptide]

Tell them you know a guy who can fart in three octaves.

 

[Vombatus]

Well, the three ordered food and started chowing down. I did walk around that side of the bar, and the heifers' backsides were bigger than I expected.

I went home. The first sex I have as a 50 yr old had better be with my girlfriend of 15 years.

 

[Chef2]

Or, grow a set of old, wrinkly balls and walk to the table with three drinks.

Precisely.

 

[The Big Ragu]

The first sex I have as a 50 yr old had better be with my girlfriend of 15 years.

If you are 50 and your girlfriend is 15, you are creepier than I even already guessed.

 

[Vombatus]

I wish she were 15. She's 62 and I am trying to get latched onto her retirement benefits.

 

[Batman]

Meanwhile, in an Iowa cornfield, Freqposter simply shakes his head and lets a single, lonely tear roll down his cheek and onto the bobbing head of a learned soccer mom.

 

[Chef2]

I wish she were 15. She's 62 and I am trying to get latched onto her retirement benefits.

Whoa whoa ****ing whoa.

She's 62, and been with you 15 years?

If you're wanting to get latched onto her retirement benefits, just marry the old coot.

 

[spikechiquet]

Well, the three ordered food and started chowing down. I did walk around that side of the bar, and the heifers' backsides were bigger than I expected.

I went home. The first sex I have as a 50 yr old had better be with my girlfriend of 15 years.

So....anal? I mean, I always hear once you turn 50..they get all concerned with the butt.

 

[SpeedTchr]

Meanwhile, in an Iowa cornfield, Freqposter simply shakes his head and lets a single, lonely tear roll down his cheek and onto the bobbing head of a learned soccer mom.

Brilliant

 

[Evil ... Thy name is Orville Redenbacher!!]

I wish she were 15. She's 62 and I am trying to get latched onto her retirement benefits.

Was she a teacher?

 

[da man]

I wish she were 15. She's 62 and I am trying to get latched onto her retirement benefits.

Whoa whoa ****ing whoa.

She's 62, and been with you 15 years?

If you're wanting to get latched onto her retirement benefits, just marry the old coot.

I think the correct feminine term is "old biddy" or "old bat."

 

[Spartan Squad]

I wish she were 15. She's 62 and I am trying to get latched onto her retirement benefits.

Was she a teacher?

No, that's Poin's girlfriend.

 

[expendable]

Well, the three ordered food and started chowing down. I did walk around that side of the bar, and the heifers' backsides were bigger than I expected.

I went home. The first sex I have as a 50 yr old had better be with my girlfriend of 15 years.

So....anal? I mean, I always hear once you turn 50..they get all concerned with the butt.

And that would be Boots' girlfriend.