I Just Spoke With Rex Ryan

[Boom_70]

Well not really, but he did call with a cheery recorded message that has made me reevaluate my Jet season ticket plan for 2009.

I was seriously considering the idea of not renewing and just go Stub Hub route but Coach Ryan said that he needed all Jet fans at the stadium helping the defense out.

 

[BitterYoungMatador2]

With Matt Cavanaugh coaching the Jets quarterbacks I think he's onto something.

 

[Moderator1]

I got three calls from the Nationals AFTER I'd not only renewed my tickets but upgraded and added two more.

"I'm in. Shouldn't you know that and be calling someone else?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry and thanks for your support."

A week later, another call.

If Adam Dunn had called, I would have bought two more.

 

[Boom_70]

I got three calls from the Nationals AFTER I'd not only renewed my tickets but upgraded and added two more.

"I'm in. Shouldn't you know that and be calling someone else?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry and thanks for your support."

A week later, another call.

If Adam Dunn had called, I would have bought two more.

"This is Elijah Dukes. If you boo me again I will burn down your house."

 

[Moderator1]

"This is Jason Bergmann. Sorry I keep giving up long home runs. If you renew your season tickets, you won't have to watch me. I'll be gone."

My wife was the one booing Dukes. I"ll have to keep my distance for a while.

 

[Boom_70]

"This is Manny Acta do you have any openings"

 

[Batman]

"This is Stephen Strasburg. You know any ways to turn down a $15 million signing bonus and not look like a tool?"

 

[Boom_70]

"this is Rex Ryan do you by any chance have Fireman Eddy's phone number?"

 

[finishthehat]

"This is Rex Ryan and yes, we will still be offering the free titty shows at halftime."

 

[outofplace]

"This is Rex Ryan and yes, I am glad to be out of the Steelers' division"

(Sorry. My inner fanboy couldn't resist.)

 

[Batman]

"This is Rex Ryan. I thought no place could be ****tier than Baltimore. Boy was I wrong."

 

[Steak Snabler]

I thought this thread was going to be about Rachel Nichols reporting live from Jets headquarters ...

 

[Boom_70]

I thought this thread was going to be about Rachel Nichols reporting live from Jets headquarters ...

"Hi this is Rex Ryan I have Rachel Nichols tied up on my couch."

 

[OnTheRiver]

My paper — the one I ****ing work for — calls me every week asking to subscribe.

Every. Goddamned. Week. (And yes, I already subscribe. Seven days a week.)

 

[Bubbler]

"This is Adam Dunn, left fielder from the Washington Nationals. While I recorded this, I took strike three looking. Next time you're in D.C. and you see me strike out or butcher my left field duties, tell 'em the Big Donkey sent ya!"

 

[OnTheRiver]

"This is Adam Dunn, left fielder from the Washington Nationals. While I recorded this, I took strike three looking. Next time you're in D.C. and you see me strike out or butcher my left field duties, tell 'em the Big Donkey sent ya!"

"Hi Moddy. This is Ron Villone. I wasn't good enough to cut in the Guatemalan D-League, but the Washington Nationals are a team that believes in 15th chances. So here's your 15th chance to renew your season tickets!"

 

[Boom_70]

"This is Adam Dunn, left fielder from the Washington Nationals. While I recorded this, I took strike three looking. Next time you're in D.C. and you see me strike out or butcher my left field duties, tell 'em the Big Donkey sent ya!"

Hi this is JP Riccardi I told everyone that Adam Dunn sucked but no one would listen.

 

[Moderator1]

Ron Villone was 3-0 on June 9.
He's 3-4 now. Had a bad week.

"Hi, this is Mike Rizzo. We just nuked Ron Villone. Come on out to Nats Park and watch another scrap heap reliever suck the life out of everybody."

 

[outofplace]

"This is Adam Dunn, left fielder from the Washington Nationals. While I recorded this, I took strike three looking. Next time you're in D.C. and you see me strike out or butcher my left field duties, tell 'em the Big Donkey sent ya!"

"Hi this is JP Riccardi I told everyone that B.J. Ryan had a back problem when he blew out his elbow a few years back and somehow I am surprised when people question what I say."

Fixed.

 

[Bubbler]

"Hi this is Jim Bowden. While I'm no longer employed by the Washington Nationals, my ego told me that your life would be affirmed if you got a call from me, even if it was recorded.

"If you're lucky enough to be a Latino ballplayer, I'll gladly talk to you in person provided you give me a routing number for your bank account.

"Now ponder the magnitude of being talked to by me, live in my refracted glow, and remember I am innocent of all charges. Peace out."