How has the Internet changed you?

[imjustagirl]

I was going to say, it's really opened up my dating circles.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

I had just met my wife the week before I first really heard of the Internet.

I had this one professor who was sending us e-mails through the computer lab at the college. Truth be told, we thought he was being a pain because we thought he should just tell us what he wanted to tell us in class.

But then I met my future wife, who was involved in this thing called chat rooms. She typed in the code for me, I started chatting with some people, one of whom was from Argentina. Shocked the heck out of me at the time.

 

[93Devil]

Yes.

The progression for people my age went like this....

Age 4-5: Accidentally touch yourself in the tub, decide it feels good, keep hands on pecker at all times until yelled at and shamed for your behavior.

Age 11-12: See some hint of bra and/or book on a classmate, feel pants get tighter, wonder what's going on.

Age 13: Rediscover pleasantries long forgotten, look for any hint of sexuality in a movie and/or tv show.

Age 14: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit comes out. Don't leave room for a week.

Age 15: Stay up late to see boobs on Cinemax.

Age 16: Check PPV channels every night for possible scrambled porn.

Age 16: Discover Playboy as one classmate has brought it to school. Mission- Find more.

Age 17: Discover internet has porn. Go to chat rooms, offer to trade your terribly photoshopped picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt naked for one of Britney Spears naked. Get picture of John Elway instead and yell because you were ripped off.

Age 18: Buy Playboy. Then buy something worse. Then buy something much worse.

Age 19: Internet is taking off. Troll sites for hours looking for free porn.

Age 25-30: Because of desensitization, the only thing that will get you off now is a video of a woman dressed as a dominatrix spanking a clown and pouring hot wax on his ass while he sings the Star Spangled Banner.

So did you enjoy your time as Mulder on X-files?

 

[93Devil]

None of you ****ers would enjoy my snark!!!

Met wife.

I get 1000 times more work done in 1/100th of the time.

I can send a message to 30 people in one minute. Imagine sending a message to 30 people in 1995. It would take days or hours on the phone.

I use a website that does hours of math for me in seconds.

My mother can see video of her grand daughter any time she wants.

I send her pictures of her grand daugher any time I want.

I can message anyone at anytime.

 

[WolvEagle]

Sort of along the same lines, but I hate my cell phone. I have it everywhere and I am a texting fool, but I wish the things would never have been invented. If you walk outside and don't take it with you to the mailbox, the first thing you do is check to see if someone texted or called in the 45 seconds you were gone. If for some reason it's dead or you're out of service or forget it for a few hours it's like "Oh ****, what if someone wants to reach me."

I remember the joy of that being the reason to be away from home or outside is to not be reached.

Yes, and the worst part is you feel absolutely obligated to respond right away. Like if you didn't call back or email back within five minutes, you've breached some major rule of modern social etiquette. Which isn't entirely inaccurate. I've definitely had friends and family half-jokingly get on my case for not getting back to them immediately.

I think the 24-hour rule should be in effect. You have 24 hours to get back to someone, no questions asked.

I hate cell phones when someone at work leaves it on their desk when they go to the crapper and the phone starts ringing.

I love cell phones because, as a single dad, I'm still connected to my teenagers in case of emergency. (Though when my daughter texts me when I'm in the living room and she's in her room, it drives me batty.)

She really does that???

Yup. Like I said, it drives me nuts.

 

[novelist_wannabe]

It has helped me manage my time better, so I then have more time to waste, then it provides plenty of time-wasting options, which are now interrupted by taking breaks to expend bodily waste. I refuse to take the computer to the loo. That would be a severe waste of time.

Seriously, we probably have more information at our fingertips right now than all of our presidents through Clinton combined. And we don't know what to do with the vast majority of it. So we sit and stare at the screen.

It has significantly changed my approach to entertainment. I get almost all my music (I'm listening to the Traitor soundtrack as I write this ...) online and yesterday I watched four movies. Three of them were online and the one that was in a theatre, I found the show information online.

 

[Buck]

You watched three movies online and another in the theater in a single day?

 

[farmerjerome]

I had a really great weekend in Toronto a few years back.....

 

[jlee]

It's made me bitter, and it's made me happy.

I'm bitter because of the age of self-importance we've spawned with it.

I'm happy because my girlfriend lives 1,500 miles away, and Skype is a wonderful luxury.

 

[TigerVols]

The Internet ruined my life.

I picked up some slampig at SHooters one night and the next thing you know, I'm rated a 10.0 on some blog of hers and my twitter feed is blowing up with girls wanting my action. Now I get zero sleep.

 

[BTExpress]

Skype is one of those too-good-to-be true things that actually is true.

"Dear, let me get this straight. You just spent 70 minutes on a videochat with friends and family 5,800 miles away . . . and this doesn't cost a cent?"

Amazes me every time.

 

[RickStain]

Agreed. My son and I just spent an hour on video chat with his grandma and aunt 1400 miles away. Seemed like a pure fantasy 10 years ago.

 

[93Devil]

Agreed. My son and I just spent an hour on video chat with his grandma and aunt 1400 miles away. Seemed like a pure fantasy 10 years ago.

Think about the **** we will be doing in 10 years.

 

[schiezainc]

Agreed. My son and I just spent an hour on video chat with his grandma and aunt 1400 miles away. Seemed like a pure fantasy 10 years ago.

Think about the **** we will be doing in 10 years.

I look forward to getting my mail sent directly in a little tube in my kitchen. </The Fifth Element>

 

[Jake_Taylor]

I know exactly what the world is going to be like in five years.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

I know exactly what the world is going to be like in five years.

You mean the Cubs are going to finally win a World Series after switching to the American League?

 

[novelist_wannabe]

You watched three movies online and another in the theater in a single day?

I did. Needed a break from sports.

 

[SF_Express]

Good timeline, but you forgot one:

Age 13: Masturbate for the first time, not really knowing what to expect. Things are going well until you ejaculate and nearly crap your pants because you think you just broke your boner. For several weeks you keep a close eye on your crotch for any signs of blood or permanent damage and you swear you'll never do that again.

And another for Age 17: Masturbate as much as you possibly can. Look forward to your parents leaving to go to the grocery store all day long.

15: Find parents hidden copies of The Joy of Sex and Portnoy's Complaint, and then ...

 

[SF_Express]

I'm much better at my job between my cell phone and instant access to our (now-web-based) e-mail, but I'm also always on the job, even on vacation.

 

[Ace]

On the Internet I am younger, thinner and handsomer, if you can believe it.