Help me reconcile some feelings

[CentralIllinoisan]

My five-year-old son was playing two houses up the street, where a girl his age lives. She has two older siblings, a brother who is 7 and a girl who is 6. The boy doesn't really get along with my son, which is fine; my son goes there to play with the girls. Whatever.

Anyway, yesterday, the 7-year-old boy is hitting golf balls out back by a field adjacent to both of our houses. During one of his backswings, the 7-year-old hits my son in the eye. Eye is swollen, bruised badly. So scared he even pees himself.

My son comes home accompanied by one of the girls and the boy. My son relays the story.

I believe it to be an accident. I do not believe the 7-year-old intentionally attempted to hurt my son. However, I am upset they were allowed out back together hitting golf balls and that the kid was not more careful or taught to be more careful. Overall, though, the kid is not to blame; he's 7.

I am also upset one of the parents did not accompany my son back to his home. Despite it being a 1-minute walk, his eye was swollen shut and he was crying uncontrollably. Later, the mother calls and according to my wife is very cold and obligatory in her tone.

Now ....

I'm leaning toward not allowing my son to play there when the boy is home, but is that rash? My gut reaction is to just tell my son to steer clear of the 7-year-old, especially when he's doing something potentially dangerous. But I realize my son is 5 and will gravitate to such things.

Also, do I address with the parents my feelings (especially about one of them not accompanying my son home), or just drop it? Confronting them seems will do more harm than good, and the only positive outcome is my selfish desire to tell them they were wrong.

Sorry to ramble.

 

[RickStain]

Tell him to punch the kid in the nose. That solves everything.

/crossthread


Serious answer: Only you can decide if you feel comfortable with your son playing there. But I wouldn't bother confronting the parents. What are you going to get out of it? Most people when confronted like that will just dig in and defend themselves, and it turns into a lot more ill feelings than there has to be.

 

[YGBFKM]

My 2 cents: If you think it wasn't intentional, approaching the parents about why this was allowed likely won't end well. They'll just feel attacked. Why don't you just tell your son to keep his distance? Then again, my advice could be the lingering effects of a concussion talking, as I was hit in the head by a neighbor swinging an aluminum bat when I was 8. Totally my fault; I wasn't paying attention.

 

[Bubbler]

Tough one. I'd be pissed too.

My first question is why a 7-year-old is hitting golf balls without supervision? That's a recipe for disaster regardless of who is or isn't around. A 7-year-old doesn't have the awareness to look around and see who's around him, one reason why your son took one in the eye.

But getting past that, I guess I'd want to get an explanation -- in a laid-back, non-confrontational manner -- from this other kid's parents on what happened.

Their reaction would set up my own reaction. I wouldn't make any judgments as far as who he gets to play with until you get their side of the story, though hearing their side of the story doesn't mean you need to accept their story.

The fact that they didn't own up to it and accompany your son home is weak sauce. They might be worried about getting sued or something, but it's still bull**** they didn't walk him home, especially as young as he is.

My guess is that it was an accident. Perhaps your son, being 5 and unaware, wandered into the other kid's swing and the kid didn't know it?

Which goes back to why in the hell a 7-year-old is hitting golf balls unsupervised?

This must be my day to hear about golf mishaps. A few hours ago, my wife was telling me that one of her co-workers was chipping balls on his property.

He then went to where he hit the balls and starting hitting the balls back in the direction of his original vantage point ... and his kids were playing on a trampoline within one bad slice of being in the danger zone. Sure enough, he slices one, and hits his youngest son (about the same age as your son) right in the mouth.

What a ****ing idiot.

 

[BYH]

My 2 cents: If you think it wasn't intentional, approaching the parents about why this was allowed likely won't end well. They'll just feel attacked. Why don't you just tell your son to keep his distance? Then again, my advice could be the lingering effects of a concussion talking, as I was hit in the head by a neighbor swinging an aluminum bat when I was 8.

This explains EVERYTHING.

And CI, I wouldn't let your son play there. Ever. With anyone. The parents sound like complete ****ing tools.

 

[BurnsWhenIPee]

I'd chalk it up to the parents being idiots, and kids sometimes having accidents.

The exact same thing happened to me when I was about 10 and was playing at a buddy's house. He was chipping golf balls, I got too close, neither one of us was paying attention - and I still have the scar on my chin from it. Took about 6 stitches, if I recall correctly. My buddy's parents drove me home and felt horrible about it.

I'd tell my son to avoid that kid, invite the siblings down to your house more often, and remember not to invite those parents to any gatherings anytime soon.

 

[Care Bear]

I would be pissed, too.

And I think there is something really wrong with the fact that an adult didn't walk your son home.

I probably wouldn't confront the parents about the accident itself, but I would ask the parents in question to please accompany your son home if (God forbid) any sort of incident like this were to happen again.

I don't care if they're worried about being sued; it's common decency. I can't imagine NOT walking an injured child home, no matter how uncomfortable if might be for me.

 

[YGBFKM]

I am imagining the first time Little Magoo comes home with his first such injury. Everything I previously said will be forgotten -- at least initially -- amid a haze of words that no one under 40 should hear.

 

[BYH]

"Walk on home, boy."--YGBFKM to the neighborhood kid who golfs his eye out in his yard

 

[Point of Order]

It was an accident. Move forward.

 

[YGBFKM]

"Walk on home, boy."--YGBFKM to the neighborhood kid who golfs his eye out in his yard

I will launch a preemptive strike against childhood shenanigans by blasting Pantera out of Magoo's window on all days when the temperature is 60 or above. That way, the neighbor kids will know what's up.

 

[Batman]

I, too, had something similar happen when I was 6. Seems like this might be some sort of SJ rite of passage. I got clocked by my best friend with a cheap wiffle ball bat, the kind that's basically two pieces of plastic melted together and you end up with a sharp edge along the seam. My friend caught me on his backswing (I was standing too close) and busted me open under my left eye.
I freaked out when I saw the blood running down my arm and ran home screaming. When I got home, I banged on the door yelling for my parents to let me in the house. My mom cleaned me up, took me to the ER and I ended up with two stitches under my eye. The whole time, I was yelling out the name and address of my best friend and telling the doctor they should go arrest him now!
Through all of this, I don't think my friend's parents knew what happened until well after the fact. I took off running before they had a chance to come outside, and my friends might not have even been able to tell them because I left so fast. My parents, I'm sure, told them later on but I was a blubbering mess in the immediate aftermath. If they'd listened to me, they probably would've thought my friend blasted me on purpose.

Point being, accidents happen. Kids are stupid. Parents can't watch them every second. Talk to the other parents, figure out what happened, and talk it out from there if you still have issues.

 

[CentralIllinoisan]

Let me add: The mother gave my son ice wrapped in a towel, so she saw his injury and still did not accompany him. That is the thing I am most upset about. Well, that and allowing the 7-year-old to hit golf balls unaccompanied -- especially with younger kids around.

But, overall, yeah, it was an accident. Just trying to, as the thread title says, reconcile some emotions.

 

[waterytart]

Encourage your son to ask the girls to play at your house. Parents who are that indifferent to what their kids are up to will have more incidents than that at their house.

 

[Boom_70]

Encourage your son to ask the girls to play at your house. Parents who are that indifferent to what their kids are up to will have more incidents than that at their house.

Yes ! That house sounds like an accident waiting to happen. Next year it will be a BB gun. I would not let your kid go back to that house.

 

[Mizzougrad96]

Someone should have walked your kid home.

My oldest split his head open a couple weeks ago. I wanted to kill my brother-in-law because he was playing with them in an area where we told them not to. My kid fell back and went into the side of a coffee table. I wanted to ****ing kill him. Is that rational? Of course not. It's still how I felt as I was driving to the ER. After a few staples, my wife and I were laughing about it.

When I was a kid, my next door neighbor and best friend broke his arm and collar bone while playing at my house. I busted my chin open playing at his house, but my parents took care of him when he got hurt and they did the same when I got hurt.

Accidents happen, especially to kids, but someone should have walked him home.

 

[YGBFKM]

Of all my various childhood accidents, of which there were many, I don't recall ever having to escorted home from any of them. Either they occurred at home or, in at least two instances, I had to be transported immediately to the hospital. I don't know how many times I cracked my head open. Really, I don't. Four is my best guess.

 

[imjustagirl]

I got hit in the head with a shovel (SHUT UP BYH) when I was 5. It was the house around the corner. I just ran home. No one escorted me. My mom was not pleased.

I also got hit in the jaw with a golf club when I was 9 because my 4-year-old brother didn't realize you don't do a full backswing when playing putt-putt.

 

[JRoyal]

OK, was the kid swinging away with dad's 7-iron, or does he have a set of kid's clubs? Some of the responses make it seem like people think the kid was winging golf balls at high velocity. I've seen kids who can do that, but all too often, esp. if they're playing around in a lot next to their house, it's more likely they're barely catching the ball. My son used to have a set of clubs he'd play with in our backyard, and I'd leave him alone at times but he knew if I wasn't out there, he could only use the wiffle balls that don't go anywhere and don't hurt even if you do hit them good.

And the kid may have been careful and your kid walked too close. Just saying.

Are you sure the parents knew before the other kids brought your son home? I've known plenty of times where kids take it upon themselves to take an injured friend home in the hopes their own parent doesn't find out or because they just want to get the other kid to his own parents ASAP. Did the parents send them home after finding out, or did the two kids take your son home while the other went in to tell their mom?

If they knew and didn't walk him over or call you to come get him, that's not very cool. I'd be hesitant to have my kid playing over there because of that. Like someone else suggested, invite the girls to your house instead.

 

[BDC99]

I wouldn't overreact. It was an accident, after all. I wouldn't ban him from going over there, but I'd probably encourage him to play at your house more often. Sounds like the parents are a little lax. I would think the parents should have accompanied him home, but at least someone did ... parents were probably nervous about how you'd react. Not saying it's right, but they probably felt guilty/bad about it.

FWIW, I hit my sister in the eye with an aluminum bat on my back swing once, and I also got a fish hook stuck in my lower eyelid at a friend's house when I was about 5. I was swinging it around my head like a lasso, if you must know. Just rode my bike home holding onto the fishing line and had mom take it out. Also stepped on a sewing needle, and somehow it went into my big toe on the edge of the nail, with the red thread hanging out. Screamed so much as my mom tried to pull it out that my sisters had to leave the house.

Now, I hope you all got a good cringe or two out of that.

Edit to add that JRoyal is on the money.