Help! I have no idea what to write

[Johnny Dangerously]

As some of you know, I've been out of the loop for about a month. I'm playing catch-up, and unfortunately I just wrote two of the more lame columns I've ever subjected readers to. See? I'm ending sentences with prepositions to boot.

So anyway, my boss wants me to write an "advance" for next week's conference media days. And I think, it's not a game. Fans aren't invited. It's not being held here. It's two states away. What does an "advance" for media days say, and who cares? Should I give the starting lineups, aka the order of the speakers. I mean, really, wtf?

I know there is some way to do this story and make him happy. I just can't think of it. And I've already written two very lame columns about the upcoming media days, so ...

Any ideas? I'm hoping someone here has ideas, because I do not. Sigh.

 

[da man]

Jason? Is that you?

 

[Johnny Dangerously]

Thank you, but no.

 

[Ace]

As some of you know, I've been out of the loop for about a month. I'm playing catch-up, and unfortunately I just wrote two of the more lame columns I've ever subjected readers to. See? I'm ending sentences with prepositions to boot.

So anyway, my boss wants me to write an "advance" for next week's conference media days. And I think, it's not a game. Fans aren't invited. It's not being held here. It's two states away. What does an "advance" for media days say, and who cares? Should I give the starting lineups, aka the order of the speakers. I mean, really, wtf?

I know there is some way to do this story and make him happy. I just can't think of it. And I've already written two very lame columns about the upcoming media days, so ...

Any ideas? I'm hoping someone here has ideas, because I do not. Sigh.

That is among the lamest ideas I've ever heard.

But if you want to be a team player, maybe you could do something funny.

Project what the coaches may say vs. what they are really thinking.

Tell readers what writers do at these media days (set the tape recorder down and hit the bar).

Something like that. I would not get serious about advancing this gabfest.

 

[JME]

An advance for media days? This is the SE's brilliant idea? Wow.

 

[Johnny Dangerously]

His brilliance would be lost on 99.9 percent of sports journalists.

 

[Ace]

Or (and I still hate the SE's suggestion) maybe you could look back on what the coaches said last year at Media Day and how it all panned out.

 

[Del_B_Vista]

First off, I'll quote Churchill: "A preposition is a terrible thing to end a sentence with."

Secondly, I'll tell you what I did a couple years ago for a remarkably similar problem, no, exactly the same problem. I wrote an "advance" centered around 12 questions, one for each school. Said each day we'd answer the questions for the teams who were featured that day. Did a couple other things daily for the other schools, but that was the hook for the advance.

 

[JME]

Or (and I still hate the SE's suggestion) maybe you could look back on what the coaches said last year at Media Day and how it all panned out.

That's actually a great idea.

 

[Johnny Dangerously]

Del, I thought he said: "Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."

And I wrote a (yes, lame) column with one question for each coach. Very stupid. People (and I use that term loosely) loved it. And then, a follow-up. So I'm all out of that angle. In fact, I'm lucky to still be employed.

I am becoming fond of the 2005 look-back idea in a big way ...

 

[DyePack]

You're not thinking about this design dimensionally.

You need lots of logos and a possibility for a cutout or a giant numeral.

Once you have those things, sell it to the designers. Then it doesn't matter if you write MacBeth or The Devil Wears Prada. After all, does anyone actually read the stories any more?

Just give them the eye candy.

 

[Ace]

Del, I thought he said: "Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."

And I wrote a (yes, lame) column with one question for each coach. Very stupid. People (and I use that term loosely) loved it. And then, a follow-up. So I'm all out of that angle. In fact, I'm lucky to still be employed.

I am becoming fond of the 2005 look-back idea in a big way ...

Remember me when voting for member of the year.

 

[da man]

End a sentence with a preposition? What do you take me for?

 

[TheSportsPredictor]

Make sure you put a couple quotes from Jason Richardson and Mateen Cleaves in there.

 

[HejiraHenry]

I know there is some way to do this story and make him happy. I just can't think of it. And I've already written two very lame columns about the upcoming media days, so ...

Any ideas? I'm hoping someone here has ideas, because I do not. Sigh.

Project what the coaches may say vs. what they are really thinking.

That would be my suggestion. Have some fun with it.

 

[bigpern23]

I know there is some way to do this story and make him happy. I just can't think of it. And I've already written two very lame columns about the upcoming media days, so ...

Any ideas? I'm hoping someone here has ideas, because I do not. Sigh.

Project what the coaches may say vs. what they are really thinking.

That would be my suggestion. Have some fun with it.

I wrote a similar column a couple years ago about how, really, nowadays we could just give coaches a multiple choice sheet with quotes on it after a game and let them check off the one they want. The first three answers to each question were standard coachspeak answers and the last was always what those answers really meant. People seemed to love it. I got a bunch of calls and compliments on it, particularly because the coach of Local U. is one of the worst offenders of coachspeak I've ever run into. An assistant SID told me he wanted to tape it to the coach's door, but liked his job too much to risk it.

If you have fun with it, your readers probably will too because they all know as well as we do that with the exception of a few, most coaches don't mean anything close to what they say.

 

[slappy4428]

Write about A) all the fun and frolic of past media days, especially when youknowwho didn't you know what cause he was afeerd....and B) when all else fails do a primer on the host city..

 

[HejiraHenry]

You're not thinking about this design dimensionally.

You need lots of logos and a possibility for a cutout or a giant numeral.

Once you have those things, sell it to the designers. Then it doesn't matter if you write MacBeth or The Devil Wears Prada. After all, does anyone actually read the stories any more?

Just give them the eye candy.

I think it's right about here where DP's one-note deal began to seem tiresome to me ...

 

[slappy4428]

You're not thinking about this design dimensionally.

You need lots of logos and a possibility for a cutout or a giant numeral.

Once you have those things, sell it to the designers. Then it doesn't matter if you write MacBeth or The Devil Wears Prada. After all, does anyone actually read the stories any more?

Just give them the eye candy.

I think it's right about here where DP's one-note deal began to seem tiresome to me ...

My, you are a patient person... others would have given in long ago

 

[novelist_wannabe]

If it's the SEC we're talking about, the only thing your readers care about are Dreamland and Sammy's. And whether Mike Price shows up either place.