Hello, I’m a person in a film

[dixiehack]

Pretty epic thread about movie tropes spun off of this tweet.



Some personal favorites:

Hello. I am a person waking up in the morning in a film and I don’t need a wee. Nobody else in that film thinks I’m a medical marvel

I’m a person in a film who has just had insanely hot sexy and somehow also managed to fold myself up in my sheet like an exquisite origami creation. Oh and even though you were in every one of my orifi I will still carry my origami fold with me as I exit the bed.

Hello. I am a bombmaker in a film. I thoughtfully colour code the wires I use to give the hero a fighting chance.

Hello, I am a person in a film. O own a shop, probably a designer shop. I go there once or twice a week and spend like 3 minutes talking to the only customer who bought one (1) candle. I am rich

 

[cyclingwriter2]

Hello, I’m the incompetent employee/sidekick that has no discernible talent or skills and makes rude comments to my coworkers in a film. No one fires me or punches me in the face. (Though in the real world, this person would likely become a publisher.)

 

[Scout]

There is always a siren in that city.

 

[DanOregon]

Hello, I am the best friend of a person in a film and am wholeheartedly invested in their love life or whatever personal challenges they are dealing with because I have no life of my own and I don't even mind that my best friend never asks me about what's going on with me.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Hello, I'm the person being stalked by a crazy controlling psycho; the police either never believe me or they say the psycho has to do something first; and I never decide to record the crazy psycho, nor buy myself a gun to protect me for when the psycho decides to violently attack me. (Lifetime movies that my wife used to love to watch).

 

[cyclingwriter2]

hello, I’m am the young child of the main character in a film. I am so wise beyond my years that I am smarter than 95 percent of the adults in the room including the antagonist who somehow outwitted my parent.

 

[ChrisLong]

I just pulled up to a crowded concert venue or a hotel and found a parking place right in front.

 

[The Big Ragu]

Hello, I am a 20-something person in a film, living in Manhattan and working in an entry-level job. My apartment is huge and fully-furnished to look like a Crate & Barrel showroom.

 

[User 150927]

Hello, I'm the villain in a film and I have a lot of weaponry but I cannot hit anything I shoot.

 

[dixiehack]

 

[OscarMadison]

Hello, I'm the villain in a film and I have a lot of weaponry but I cannot hit anything I shoot.

 

[Shropshire Slasher]

Hello, I am a bolt of lightning. You will hear my thunder instantaneously even though I am thousands of feet away from you.

 

[DanOregon]

Hello, I am "big moment" in the film, when everyone in an audience hearing someone give a big speech seems totally up to speed and thoroughly invested with everything that led that person to give to that speech - even if they are just in from Delaware to see their nephew graduate, play for the other team or were just hired to help with the catering.

 

[2muchcoffeeman]

Hello. I am a modern “print” journalist. I only work on one story for days at a time; I don’t have to have two stories a day like any other reporter.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Hello, I am the star athlete who always overcomes adversity to enjoy success at the end.

 

[micropolitan guy]

Hello, I'm the new guy who just joined your combat unit. I'll be killed in the first firefight.

 

[da man]

Hello. I am a modern “print” journalist. I only work on one story for days at a time; I don’t have to have two stories a day like any other reporter.

The sportswriters on TV are the worst. Did Ray Barrone EVER work?

 

[da man]

Hello, I am the star athlete who always overcomes adversity to enjoy success at the end.

...by winning the big game with a dramatic last-second play.

 

[da man]

...by winning the big game with a dramatic last-second play.

BTW, this is why I loved the original Rocky and Bull Durham so much. Rocky lost the fight and Bull Durham didn't go the "big game" route.

 

[Batman]

...by winning the big game with a dramatic last-second play.

And usually a dramatic last-second gadget play that the team hasn't practiced all season, or never got it to work when they did. And if it's a football team, it will go for an 85-yard touchdown.