Hard Rock Park

[Captain_Kirk]

Gotta say this sounds like an intriguing concept to me: a rock-n-roll themed amusement park.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20080507/ap_tr_ge/travel_brief_hard_rock_park;_ylt=Asf2O.zRzbZaNRQObYc9laas0NUE

A Zeppelin coaster, tunes throughout the park, and a Statue of Liberty holding a Zippo lighter aloft.

Perhaps we can help them out with creating/naming some future attractions for them. I've got a couple, but I'll throw out this one to start:

Mama Cass's Deli.

You may begin....

 

[BYH]

Vince Neil Bumper Cars

Buddy Holly model airplane races

Great White BBQ

 

[mike311gd]

Vince Neil Bumper Cars

Buddy Holly model airplane races

Great White BBQ

Good Lord, man.


(That's pretty funny.)

 

[forever_town]

Stevie Nicks Fajita Roundup

 

[Piotr Rasputin]

The Metallica ride. It starts out like a really great, bold roller coaster, then ends up like "It's a small world."

The House of Rush. Thrill to the haunted house, frantically searching for the exit as a creature with a high-pitched wail chases you down. Most who encounter this attraction hate it, while other praise it for its complexity and high level of craftsmanship.

The Grateful Dead Experience. Strange, undecipherable music, while smoke and weird images projected throughout make you think you want to buy the ride's soundtrack even though you know it sucks.

Dave Matthews Speaks To YOU! Horrible singer in a gimmicky ride speaks about stuff that's pretty universal, and every 16-24 year old who rides is guaranteed to come away thinking they have had the mysteries of life unlocked for them.

Gwen Stefani's New Clothes: A dark, Fantasyland-type ride, targeted for young children. Adults will dislike the complete lack of substance or originality, but it will be a big hit with the kids.

 

[Rumpleforeskin]

Look at the happy family on "The John Denver Experience."

 

[BYH]

The Metallica ride. It starts out like a really great, bold roller coaster, then ends up like "It's a small world."

The House of Rush. Thrill to the haunted house, frantically searching for the exit as a creature with a high-pitched wail chases you down. Most who encounter this attraction hate it, while other praise it for its complexity and high level of craftsmanship.

The Grateful Dead Experience. Strange, undecipherable music, while smoke and weird images projected throughout make you think you want to buy the ride's soundtrack even though you know it sucks.

Dave Matthews Speaks To YOU! Horrible singer in a gimmicky ride speaks about stuff that's pretty universal, and every 16-24 year old who rides is guaranteed to come away thinking they have had the mysteries of life unlocked for them.

Gwen Stefani's New Clothes: A dark, Fantasyland-type ride, targeted for young children. Adults will dislike the complete lack of substance or originality, but it will be a big hit with the kids.

Brilliant.

 

[BYH]

Inspired by Piotr:

Chinese Democracy: The ride that never ends.

 

[Ace]

I would be interested in Alice Cooper's haunted house and miniature golf attraction and the Groupie Grotto.

 

[Ronnie "Z-Man" Barzell]

Frank Zappa's Chamber of Horrors - Patrons will be locked in a small room and be forced to listen to an entire side of Frank Zappa. Anyone who complains will be told by the staff that they "just don't get it, man"

 

[forever_town]

Inspired by Piotr:

Chinese Democracy: The ride that never ends.

I thought that was Emerson, Lake and Palmer.

 

[Piotr Rasputin]

Rick Allen's Wild Ride - Keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times.

Ozzy! - The ride becomes more incoherent as it goes, until patrons exit so disoriented they don't even know their own names or where they are.

Aerosmith stars in Rock and Roller Coaster - It promises to be just as good as the Led Zeppelin ride, but is instead an oppressively long slog, with almost nothing interesting happening along the way. Patrons are left to question just what justifies "that piece of crap" enjoying such a long run.

Van Whatever The Hell - A confusing coaster, it goes in many directions, never deciding on one for more than a few seconds, ultimately leaving everyone who rides it upset and annoyed.

The Rolling Stones Ride - Not as good as other attractions built during its existence, especially the Beatles attraction or the Led Zeppelin coaster, but it seems to have its own group of followers who refuse to acknowledge its many flaws. Rumored to be slated for demolition to make way for a new Black Crowes dark ride, which no one thinks will be as good as the ride it replaces.

The Kurt Cobain Show - It ends abruptly, which leads people to compare it to the John Lennon ride, which is actually vastly superior.

 

[beefncheddar]

Inspired by Piotr:

Chinese Democracy: The ride that never ends.

The line for that one takes something like 12 years.

 

[BYH]

Elvis skeet shooting: Hit three TVs, win all the peanut butter and banana sandwiches you can handle.

 

[mpcincal]

Inspired by Piotr:

Chinese Democracy: The ride that never ends.

The line for that one takes something like 12 years.

Actually, that would be the ride that's always closed for refurbishing.

 

[DisembodiedOwlHead]

Lackluster reporting -- did not address whether this fine park sells beer !

 

[Batman]

Van Whatever The Hell - A confusing coaster, it goes in many directions, never deciding on one for more than a few seconds, ultimately leaving everyone who rides it upset and annoyed.

And the line takes forever because they keep switching operators.

I'll add...
• The Milli Vanilli Death Drop - A slow, gentle parachute ride that turns into a freefall ride halfway through. Riders will hear the first half of the boarding instructions on an endless loop.
• The Nickelback Coaster - A roller coaster with only one hill, but riders go over it 15 times per ride.

 

[Huggy]

Great White BBQ

Oh ****, is that funny.

The country section of the park will have a George Jones car ride.

 

[Trey Beamon]

Rick Allen's Wild Ride - Keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times.

Outstanding.

 

[Chef]

Vince Neil Bumper Cars

Buddy Holly model airplane races

Great White BBQ

I bow in your general direction.