Growing up too fast...

[GBNF]

This might not be the thread you expected, but here it goes.

I'm 24, single and in a "party" city. There are numerous bars and clubs and generally a tons of places to just party.
And I could care less if I go to one again.

Maybe it's just maturation, but I feel no desire to go out and party anymore. Granted, I'm not with my friends, but I just generally don't feel like I need it at all. After having a relatively long-term girlfriend and missing the party scene, then breaking up with her, I again want the simplicity of a "boring night." Maybe just dinner and a movie, or board games with good or something of the like.

Is this just a matter of wanting what I don't have, and when I get a GF/Wife, I'll go back to wanting to get crazy?
Or has anyone else felt this way at my age?

 

[ArnoldBabar]

Or has anyone else felt this way at my age?

Pretty much everybody gets there at some point, though not usually that early. Maybe you'll have your midlife crisis early too -- you'll be 30 and wondering where your youth went and why you never do anything anymore.

 

[Wenders]

I just moved out of a big party city, away from all of my friends. I did my own fair share of going to the bars on Fridays/Saturdays/Mondays/Tuesdays/whenever the occasion called for it in the last year, but since I moved (and especially since the bars here close at 1 a.m. and I'm rarely off work by then anyway), I'd just rather go to work, come home, watch a movie and hang out here.

I like being boring for now. College wore me out.

 

[BYH]

I was never much of a party animal, but any desire I had to get sauced went out the window when I met my future wife at 21. (not my future wife 21. that would get Boom kicking my ass) I pretty much drank to be social and to see if it led to anything with a similiarly sauced gal. Once my future wife and I fell madly in love, there was no need to drink or, obviously, troll for babes. Outside of my bachelor party, I haven't been drunk since the fall of 1994. And even at my bachelor party, I was only buzzed and goofy.

When my wife and I moved in together, we were 23 and 22, respectively, and we've been perfectly content since then to hang out at friends' houses and watch a movie or two or play cards or play board games. Once in a while, I'd wonder if it'd be cool to go bar crawling again...but then I'd hit a bar for something (a concert or maybe a Happy Hour with an old college friend) and I'd remember why I wanted nothing to do with it. The whole everyone-has-their-game-face-on...ugh. I never had much of a game face (shocking, I know) and I'm just so glad I don't have to do it anymore. I had a great time during my bar-crawling days, but it's not something I have any interest in, ever again.

 

[ArnoldBabar]

So you don't enjoy a glass of wine with dinner? Drink beers with your friends at the poker game or the ballpark?

 

[BYH]

So you don't enjoy a glass of wine with dinner? Drink beers with your friends at the poker game or the ballpark?

No...I didn't drink at all til I went away to college. Always feared I'd get my ass tanned if I came home drunk. Then I embraced the freedom of college for a while but it ran its course.

I've never liked the taste of wine. My wife does and will occassionally have some if we have a nice dinner at home or at a restaurant. As for beer...once in a great while I'll want a Killian's Red. Loved that stuff in college and I still like it. But I'll never pay for a beer at a ballpark, and none of my friends drink much at all. It's soda (or, now, in my case, water) and coffee at the poker table.

An exciting bunch, we are.

 

[buckweaver]

Never was much into the party scene, even when I was single. And I've been lucky enough that my serious relationships, since my first one began at 16, have all lasted pretty long -- "shortest" one was 2.5 years -- so I haven't had much need to do the bar-trolling thing, either.

I could always hold my own, though, (with alcohol and otherwise) so when it comes time for an outing/gathering like Vegas or Seattle the last two years, I like to get pretty sloshed like old times. Difference is, I only like to party with people I'd already be hanging out with anyway -- like most of those SJ crews. A bunch of people at a bar or a club? **** 'em. Too much drama, and as a rule, I don't like drama. I'm boring, and I like it that way.

GBNF, it all depends on if you're really content with that so-called "bored" life. I'm happy as a clam just having drinks with my girlfriend, or hanging out with a group of friends. Live the life that makes you happy -- and don't have any regrets.

 

[BYH]

A bunch of people at a bar or a club? **** 'em. Too much drama, and as a rule, I don't like drama. I'm boring, and I like it that way.

Really? no ****in ****.

Girl: "So what are you doing during the summer?"
Bucky: "I'm going to visit the gravesite of every player from the 1885 St. Louis Browns. And when I'm done with that I'm going to write a book about all the no-hitters broken up with two outs in the seventh inning from 1901 through 1930."
Girl: "I have to go stand over here now."

 

[buckweaver]

A bunch of people at a bar or a club? **** 'em. Too much drama, and as a rule, I don't like drama. I'm boring, and I like it that way.

Really? no ****in ****.

Girl: "So what are you doing during the summer?"
Bucky: "I'm going to visit the gravesite of every player from the 1885 St. Louis Browns. And when I'm done with that I'm going to write a book about all the no-hitters broken up with two outs in the seventh inning from 1901 through 1930."
Girl: "That's hot. Your place or mine?"

Fixed, ****er.

 

[BYH]

Hey, I never denied you hit the lottery!

 

[Cadet]

Aside from this little threadjack about wonderful women and the men they put up with, I think the answer to the question is that the desire to be social and "go out" comes and goes.

I was pretty wild in high school, actually settled down the first three years of college, then partied from ages 21-23. By 24 I was in a relationship, by 27 I was practically a hermit. Now I'm more social and really, really enjoy the few opportunities I get to hang out with good friends. But these days a good bloody mary brunch works as well as a crazy bar for that kind of stuff.

 

[buckweaver]

Hey, I never denied you hit the lottery!

You damn right.

 

[TrooperBari]

Is this just a matter of wanting what I don't have, and when I get a GF/Wife, I'll go back to wanting to get crazy?
Or has anyone else felt this way at my age?

Right there with you, GBNF. I don't think preferring a more sedate social life is necessarily a sign one is growing wizened beyond their years. Maybe having that relatively long-term girlfriend just showed you that you can enjoy these years without joining the party scene. Why put up with all the posturing, teasing and nonsense that comes with that life when you know you can be just as happy without it?

 

[BTExpress]

I feel more lonely and out of place at a party or crowded bar than anyplace else. Always have. Even at age 18.

Of course, maybe the fact that I drink nothing stronger than Pepsi contributes to that.

I'll take making popcorn, curling up next to my SO and watching a DVD 100 times out of 100.

 

[Football_Bat]

I dig bars, but there's a happy medium. I don't like a place where I'm the only hard-**** in the joint, and I don't like it where you have to wait an hour to fight your way to the bar and some a-hole has spent $20 in the jukebox to play the entire Twisted Sister discology.

 

[writing irish]

I'm more of a pub than club guy, mainly because I loathe the ****ty music played in most clubs, to say nothing of the posing and lechery.

I'm ambivalent about the party and nightlife scene. It can be fun or it can be an alientating and wallet-draining experience. I spent my early 20s in Austin, which was a blast, but by the time I was about GBNF's age, I was already weary of shallow hedonism and the way live music is a religion in that town. There's so much live music in Austin that it's almost oppressive- seems like at night, every coffeehouse and bar has some loud, often crappy band making conversation impossible.

Anyway, I really enjoy a night out with a date or a small group of friends. Great music, whether live or on the jukebox, is always welcome. But I hate it when things get too crowded and I hate throngs of pretentious assholes- whether they're yuppies or hipsters.

Bottom line for me, partying adds some nice spice to life, but it makes a poor centerpiece for one's existence. It's one of those things that's cool when you're 25 but lame when you're 45. To everything, a season.

 

[BigSleeper]

My situation pretty much mirrors BYH's. If you were to add up all the alcohol I've had in my life, it probably wouldn't amount to as much as some here drink on weekends. In five years of college, I just never saw the appeal of it all. Besides, I was working several jobs and already living with a girlfriend by the time I was 20, so on top of lack of interest, I had no time. All these years later, I can't remember the last time I was in a bar.

 

[crusoes]

When I saw this I thought it would be about situations like my niece's, the sweet baby who, somehow, has already graduated from high school, and way before I was ready.

As for howling at the moon, some people move past it quickly. Some never do.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I knew I was getting old when my friends were going to a bar and I said not a place that's too loud. I was 27, Jesus. It's like a shirt Weezer had out: "If it's too loud...we'll turn it down."

I did my fair share, and then some, of partying. In bars, wherever. I never liked the meat markets, but a good local watering hole with a jukebox was fine with me.

And I still like to go out and knock back a few, but with a kid and wife, it's more stay at home and relax now. Like others, I'm old boring married guy.

 

[pallister]

I was only buzzed and goofy.

This is permanent, though, right?