GF advice needed

[melock]

This isn't his wife. This is a gal he met recently. There's not a huge emotional investment. Why mess with this nasty STD issue?

Agreed. Sounds pretty risky to me. But like everyone else has said if you're into give it time and see where it goes. Internet porn will always be there for you.

 

[bigpern23]

This isn't his wife. This is a gal he met recently. There's not a huge emotional investment. Why mess with this nasty STD issue?

Agreed. Sounds pretty risky to me. But like everyone else has said if you're into give it time and see where it goes. Internet porn will always be there for you.

Ah, internet porn ... feeding deviant sexual desires since Al Gore made out with Tipper on stage.

 

[jimnorden]

ew

 

[melock]

My thoughts exactly....my lunch is about to come back up.

 

[Hammer Pants]

In a perfect world, my future wife will be stunningly beautiful and want to have sex all the time. But what she will HAVE to be be is someone I could be with every day the rest of life NO MATTER WHAT. If she weighed 400 pounds or couldn't walk or had an STD ... could I talk to her. Every relationship I've had has gotten to that point in my head ... imagine the girl is not attractive at all when she's talking to you, and see if you remain interested. The bottom line is there are millions of pretty women out there, and even the nicest men are horny, horny bastards. But at some point, the physical, outer beauty on both sides will probably go downhill.

Would you talk to this girl every day? Does she fit naturally into your life? Would you do anything for her at any time, but most days would be easy? I'm not saying every relationship has to come to that point immediately — certainly not when you're young — but at some point, it does.

If you think a relationship with this girl is worth fighting for, then it probably is, at least right now. I say see where it goes for a while without having sex, just to see. Get to know her. Hang out with her. See how she fits into your life.

It's much harder to find a life partner than it is to find someone to sleep with. Remember that. Just be very careful romantically with this girl until you know for sure.

If my ex-girlfriend (as of last week) told me today she had herpes, I'm not sure what it would change. I still love her, she still loves me and we'd probably still be trying to figure out if we need to give it another shot, be friends, take a break from everything, etc... I realized fairly quickly that I had taken a lot of things on her end for granted, and she realized a few days ago that she had done the same on a smaller scale, so I think we're going to give it another shot. I don't know for sure, though, but she's a great person and worth the effort. I think we're going to see if we learned anything and try again, because we do love each other ... and if it didn't work a second time, then so be it.

Only you know the answer to this issue. Just make sure you've considered everything — including that good people make big mistakes — and then trust yourself.

 

[John D. Villarreal]

I'm a regular poster here, but for reasons that will become obvious, I'm going with a different handle to maintain some anonymity.

Anyway, I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and she's great. She's funny, smart, a bit of a wiseass, with a wonderful body, pretty face and beautiful eyes.

For the first time since getting dumped by my ex-GF over a year ago, I'm actually excited to be seeing a girl.

Then last night she dropped a bomb on me. She told me she has HPV and genital herpes. It was a complete shock since she's very religious and has only slept with the two men she had as boyfriends. Unfortunately, the first didn't know he had HPV and the other was a scumbag who took off his condom while they were together one night. I guess, as they say, all it takes is once.

I'm the first person she's had a relationship since Scumbag #2 and last night was the first time she's had to tell anyone.

We haven't slept together, thankfully.

Now, I just don't know what to do. I genuinely like this girl, but the STDs scare the **** out of me. I don't know much about either other than I don't have them and Valtrex makes ****ty commercials.

So now I have to decide what to do about this fledgling relationship. Do I continue on, knowing that any sex we have will involve condoms for as long as we're together (which could be a short or a very long time)? Do I risk having protected sex even though I know she's got two STDs? Are condoms reliable enough to take that chance?

Or should I just get out now, knowing how badly it will hurt a person I genuinely care about?

I've been busy at work all day and still can't this off my mind.

Anybody who has some knowlege of the diseases, their effects and/or the risks of protected sex with someone who has them would be great. Any other advice would be welcomed as well.

I know I've seen how great and supportive people on this site can be and I fully expect some of you ****ers to make laugh with some off-color jokes. This is just a subject I can't really bring up with my friends because I'm sure she wouldn't want them to know about her situation, so the anonymity of this site seems a good place to get some advice.

Hey man,

Tough tough situation. You & your GF have my best wishes.

Here is the thing:

1.) Kudos to her for being straight with you. That earns large respect & honesty points.

2.) You need to be smart & logical about your health & relationship judgements.

Look, I am sure she is awesome. Let's stipulate that. However, one month is one month & you don't know her & anything could happen.

Yes, this could be the woman of your dreams whom you marry and gives you a wonderful family, or it could be someone you were infatuated with, gave you some STD's and dumped you after a few months. See my point?

As to the health risks:

HPV is not a big deal for guys as far as I know (not that you want it!) but can be very damaging for women (cervical cancer, etc.) & can affect fertility

Genital Herpes - yeah, that is bad. Contagious & painful. Treatable but not curable.

Look, here is my best advice. I may have fun/entertain & all that, & yes, everyone knows the ladies love JDV & he loves his fans. However, I am very logical in my relationships & would encourage others to be as well.

Meaning, you have to look at the cold hard reality here & calculate the odds of success of this relationship vs. the risks. The upside vs. the downside.

I have never had any STD's & am sure not looking to start. I really care about my health.

As to condoms. They help but it is not 100% (for many reasons) & any way you slice it you are putting yourself at risk - period.

So, I would say there are better matches out there & other fish in the sea. Go find them. I am willing to bet that a year from now you will be thanking me.

However, if you really really think this girl is the one then keep dating her but no sex (if you have the willpower to pull that off) probably smart anyway - more ppl should do that. Then you can get to know her without having your judgement skewed and without risk. Why can't you enjoy all the great things about her without the sex? I know that is such a crazy statement these days.

If she is a quality woman she would almost assuredly respect/like you even more for that (your making her feel "bad" about being scared of having sex with her would be more than offset by you showing that your smart/prudent and interested in her for more than using her for sex).

If she is really that special after dating her for a while (read 6-12 months +) then I would suggest you see a doctor to discuss. I would expect medical science to have some answers/cures for these at some point here in the next 5-10 years.

Hope that helps,

John

 

[poindexter]

I may have fun/entertain & all that, & yes, everyone knows the ladies love JDV..

Actually, *we* don't know that. We don't know anything about that. You tell us that, but you tell us a lot of stuff that isn't true.

 

[outofplace]

Ok guys...I got into this stuff with JDV as much as anybody...but can we please just move along on topic rather? Yes, he's talking about himself again. Who the hell cares at this point?

 

[jimnorden]

I just dislike the fact that he said "kudos." that word may be worse than herpes.

 

[zeke12]

You know what's getting older than bashing trolls?

Acting like you're above bashing trolls.

Justsayin...

 

[poindexter]

The guy knows what he's talking about.

 

[John D. Villarreal]

Ok guys...I got into this stuff with JDV as much as anybody...but can we please just move along on topic rather? Yes, he's talking about himself again. Who the hell cares at this point?

Ha ha, hey thanks OOP. Yeah, just an attempt to lighten up a serious topic. Plus it is part of the fun that ppl have come to expect around here.

But look I agree with you. I almost always post on topic & those that attack me rarely do (at least from what I see).

But look, it's all good.

John

 

[outofplace]

You know what's getting older than bashing trolls?

Acting like you're above bashing trolls.

Justsayin...

Zeke, not sure if that was directed at me, but I'll answer it. I was NOT saying I'm above it. I do it too often. I just hate to see another thread get hijacked by JDV.

 

[John D. Villarreal]

The guy knows what he's talking about.

That is an immature shot on a serious subject.

I do love the "Villawink" though & the "hoodpass" high-street-cred outfit Scoop, PM Jones, & Whilock helped me put together!

Thus, all in all your post is a push I guess PD.

Next!

 

[John D. Villarreal]

You know what's getting older than bashing trolls?

Acting like you're above bashing trolls.

Justsayin...

Zeke, not sure if that was directed at me, but I'll answer it. I was NOT saying I'm above it. I do it too often. I just hate to see another thread get hijacked by JDV haters.

Fixed.

Be fair OOP and don't succumb to the wannabe Jr. high "cool kids" peer pressure. I directly answered the thread starter's serious Q in a serious way with one light joke about me to lighten the mood of my informative post about a heavy subject. Whereupon the haters came out.

More proof that the "message" that was supposed to be sent to me by the haters & the peace I thought I was going to get from them on my threads/posts was all BS. No surprise.

Ah well, just more proof I am in their head & they focus on me & not vice versa. Check how the thread count popped about 100+ since my post, what 30 mins ago?

Psst - here is a top secret special report - if you don't mess with me & stay on topic I won't punk/embarrass you for all of our amusement.

I would rather post on topic, abliet with a little Villa stylo & flair here & there.

 

[outofplace]

You know what's getting older than bashing trolls?

Acting like you're above bashing trolls.

Justsayin...

Zeke, not sure if that was directed at me, but I'll answer it. I was NOT saying I'm above it. I do it too often. I just hate to see another thread get hijacked by JDV haters.

Fixed.

Be fair OOP and don't succumb to the wannabe Jr. high "cool kids" peer pressure. I directly answered the thread starter's serious Q in a serious way with one light joke about me to lighten the mood of my informative post about a heavy subject. Whereupon the haters came out.

More proof that the "message" that was supposed to be sent to me by the haters & the peace I thought I was going to get from them on my threads/posts was all BS. No surprise.

Ah well, just more proof I am in their head & they focus on me & not vice versa. Check how the thread count popped about 100+ since my post, what 30 mins ago?

Psst - here is a top secret special report - if you don't mess with me & stay on topic I won't punk/embarrass you for all of our amusement.

I would rather post on topic, abliet with a little Villa stylo & flair here & there.

Since I asked...I'm not going to respond to this here. JDV, check your PM's.

So, what else can we say about this poor guy's problem? the more I think about it, the more I think he should move on or at least wait until he is VERY sure about here before he does anything sexually, even with protection.

 

[John D. Villarreal]

You know what's getting older than bashing trolls?

Acting like you're above bashing trolls.

Justsayin...

Zeke, not sure if that was directed at me, but I'll answer it. I was NOT saying I'm above it. I do it too often. I just hate to see another thread get hijacked by JDV haters.

Fixed.

Be fair OOP and don't succumb to the wannabe Jr. high "cool kids" peer pressure. I directly answered the thread starter's serious Q in a serious way with one light joke about me to lighten the mood of my informative post about a heavy subject. Whereupon the haters came out.

More proof that the "message" that was supposed to be sent to me by the haters & the peace I thought I was going to get from them on my threads/posts was all BS. No surprise.

Ah well, just more proof I am in their head & they focus on me & not vice versa. Check how the thread count popped about 100+ since my post, what 30 mins ago?

Psst - here is a top secret special report - if you don't mess with me & stay on topic I won't punk/embarrass you for all of our amusement.

I would rather post on topic, abliet with a little Villa stylo & flair here & there.

Since I asked...I'm not going to respond to this here. JDV, check your PM's.

So, what else can we say about this poor guy's problem? the more I think about it, the more I think he should move on or at least wait until he is VERY sure about here before he does anything sexually, even with protection.

I don't see any new PM's did you send it?

And yes, I agree, those were my points exactly.

I will hang for a bit to wait for your PM & then I have to get to work on this new deal.

JDV

 

[zeke12]

You know what's getting older than bashing trolls?

Acting like you're above bashing trolls.

Justsayin...

Zeke, not sure if that was directed at me, but I'll answer it. I was NOT saying I'm above it. I do it too often. I just hate to see another thread get hijacked by JDV.

Cool.

Agreed.

 

[Big Buckin' agate_monkey]

SHe fessed up because she really likes you, brother. She didn't do it to scare you off, she did it for honesty. And I think she would want to find a way to protect you to have the safest of safe sex...
Find a way... at least to try

So, **** her in the ass?

I'm disappointed the stoob reference took three pages.

 

[zeke12]

SHe fessed up because she really likes you, brother. She didn't do it to scare you off, she did it for honesty. And I think she would want to find a way to protect you to have the safest of safe sex...
Find a way... at least to try

So, **** her in the ass?

I'm disappointed the stoob reference took three pages.

Sorry, man.

I know I'm slipping...