GF advice needed

[nybluepepper]

I'm a regular poster here, but for reasons that will become obvious, I'm going with a different handle to maintain some anonymity.

Anyway, I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and she's great. She's funny, smart, a bit of a wiseass, with a wonderful body, pretty face and beautiful eyes.

For the first time since getting dumped by my ex-GF over a year ago, I'm actually excited to be seeing a girl.

Then last night she dropped a bomb on me. She told me she has HPV and genital herpes. It was a complete shock since she's very religious and has only slept with the two men she had as boyfriends. Unfortunately, the first didn't know he had HPV and the other was a scumbag who took off his condom while they were together one night. I guess, as they say, all it takes is once.

I'm the first person she's had a relationship since Scumbag #2 and last night was the first time she's had to tell anyone.

We haven't slept together, thankfully.

Now, I just don't know what to do. I genuinely like this girl, but the STDs scare the **** out of me. I don't know much about either other than I don't have them and Valtrex makes ****ty commercials.

So now I have to decide what to do about this fledgling relationship. Do I continue on, knowing that any sex we have will involve condoms for as long as we're together (which could be a short or a very long time)? Do I risk having protected sex even though I know she's got two STDs? Are condoms reliable enough to take that chance?

Or should I just get out now, knowing how badly it will hurt a person I genuinely care about?

I've been busy at work all day and still can't this off my mind.

Anybody who has some knowlege of the diseases, their effects and/or the risks of protected sex with someone who has them would be great. Any other advice would be welcomed as well.

I know I've seen how great and supportive people on this site can be and I fully expect some of you ****ers to make laugh with some off-color jokes. This is just a subject I can't really bring up with my friends because I'm sure she wouldn't want them to know about her situation, so the anonymity of this site seems a good place to get some advice.

 

[zeke12]

At this early stage of the relationship, I'd look at it this way:

At least she was honest enough to tell you, and now you know.

When it gets to that, wear a rubber and you'll be fine.

If things get serious, it will be something you have to deal with.

But if you really like the girl, I wouldn't blow her off over this. In fact, I'd give her points for being honest with you. I'd also realize that her telling you likely means she's thinking in serious terms.

Good luck, man.

 

[poindexter]

Do you guys like butter, or butter-flavored topping with your popcorn?

I'll make the popcorn, someone else pull up the chairs. This is appointment internet.

 

[poindexter]

the other was a scumbag who took off his condom while they were together one night.

Did the director call for the money shot?

 

[zeke12]

Real butter and a Coke, poin.

We haven't had this much potential since some of Tron's threads.

Dude could get great advice. Could get shredded.

Either way, my chair's in the room.

 

[poindexter]

When in doubt, go with advice from the pros.

 

[zeke12]

While poin provides the punchlines, I'd also suggest PM'ing DocTalk, who could probably shed some light on what precautions your sex life would have to entail.

Unless anyone else wants to come on here and admit their wife has herpes...

 

[You're With Me Leather]

Since you believe this relationship has potential, I think you gotta make the best of this situation and move forward. Clearly she has some pretty strong feelings for you. Think about how hard it must have been for her to have that conversation with you.

 

[imjustagirl2]

Two words: Kevlar condom.

 

[Flying Headbutt]

Blue, if a longtime friend of mine wasn't already married I'd think you were dating her. A college boyfriend of her's, really one of her best friends for those several years, is who passed it on to her. Obviously that led to a breakup and it's a topic that hasn't come up more than once with us since it was all happening. A few months later she started dating this other guy she had known through mutual acquaintances and eventually ended up married to him. But telling him was one of the hardest things she did, since when they were dating things were going so great and she didn't want to ruin it. He was able to look at the entire situation and realize my friend is still a kick ass, beautiful girl and they're living happily ever after. If the girl is really that cool then just go with it. Easy for me to say, but don't let that take everything else away from what you might have.

 

[Boobie Miles]

The ad on the bottom of my page right now says "got herpes? date others with herpes. www.h-date.com." I think based on that alone I might sign up for that pay service that blocks the ads.

I have no idea if you're serious at all, but if you are know this right now: there's a 99% chance that she's lying about something of her past. It just seems highly unlikely that she got two different STDs from the only two guys she ever slept with and that the second guy only took the condom off that one time. She told you what she had to tell you eventually, which is good I guess and probably than you finding out another way, but I'd wager that she's not being fully honest about her past.

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

Blue --
My money's on her. She was honest enough to tell you what has to be the deepest secret in her life. That's a boatload of trust right there.
The medical stuff is the easiest part.
But you're halfway home on the hardest.

 

[Mayfly]

Herpes is truly the gift that keeps on giving.



If you really like her, stay with her. Sex with a condom isn't that bad if you haven't had sex with her without it. You won't be able to tell the difference because you didn't have one before the other. It's like you are eating a hot dog for the first time. You don't know what it tastes like with ketchup or mustard. Suppose you just have ketchup and that's all you have. You are happy with it, you don't have access to the mustard, so the ketchup tastes pretty damn good.

 

[Cadet]

Learn the HPV facts... most girls have it, most guys are carriers and don't even know it. It's not a "get it once and you're stuck" thing like herpes or HIV.

Herpes is a whole 'nother ball of wax, though. Eesh.

 

[zeke12]

More importantly, make sure you know how this will affect your ATM status.

 

[beefncheddar]

Bone out.

 

[zeke12]

Bone out.

You saying he should just finish on her grille?

 

[HejiraHenry]

You need to learn all you can about the HPV/herpes situation and move carefully after that.

It will be tough for this not to affect your feelings, so this is a real man-sized challenge for you.

 

[nybluepepper]

The ad on the bottom of my page right now says "got herpes? date others with herpes. www.h-date.com." I think based on that alone I might sign up for that pay service that blocks the ads.

I have no idea if you're serious at all, but if you are know this right now: there's a 99% chance that she's lying about something of her past. It just seems highly unlikely that she got two different STDs from the only two guys she ever slept with and that the second guy only took the condom off that one time. She told you what she had to tell you eventually, which is good I guess and probably than you finding out another way, but I'd wager that she's not being fully honest about her past.

That was my initial reaction, too, but I completely believe her that she's only slept with two men. She might never have used a condom (she is, after all, quite religious), but I'm sure she's telling the truth about her partners. Knowing her, and seeing her tell me the stories, I know that's true.

Oh, and "Kevlar condom" might be the greatest two-word response in the history of this message board.

Keep up the laughs and the advice everyone.

 

[User 1019]

(she is, after all, quite religious)
[/quote]

This has absolutely no bearing on the situation at hand.