Fun with captions, DMN version

[Football_Bat]

From Wednesday's Dallas Morning News Metro cover:

 

[Football_Bat]

"Damn man, this battery low on fluid! Lemme fill it up ... BRZZZT!"

 

[Precious Roy]

After the engine caught fire, John, left, and Carl quickly put out the flames without the use of a hose. Carl then examined the source of the blaze.

 

[dixiehack]

It doesn't matter how much you show off if you can't get it cranked.

 

[Chi City 81]

Darius "Day-Day" Washington, left and Sean "Short Dog" Hill attempt to work on their 1992 Acura Integra in the parking lot of a local Denny's on Wednesday, August 30, 2006, in Dallas. (AP photo/Mon Stertitz)

 

[21]

Following their arrest, the boys claimed they were just following the principal's orders to get a belt.

 

[Precious Roy]

"Pimp My Ride" was cancelled by MTV today, much to the shagrin of Ronnie and Jeff.

 

[DyePack]

Since the Doc stole my usual schtick:

Maurice Clarett (right) and his cousin, Alfonzo, gear up for their audition for "Fast and the Furious 5: The Streets of Youngstown."

 

[Ace]

Amateur mechanics Rusty (left) and JJ (right) have trouble replacing a timing belt.

 

[dixiehack]

" ... And the captain said 'Because Tuesday is your turn in the barrel engine compartment.'"

 

[Inky_Wretch]

How is the dude on the left keeping his shorts from falling to his ankles? And when the shorts are that long, don't they qualify as capri pants aka man-pris?

 

[DyePack]

"Real Men of Genius:

Today we salute you, Mr. Really Low Shorts Wearer."

 

[daveevansedge]

Ace, it took me a moment -- which it probably shouldn't have, I admit -- but that was dayumn funny.

 

[dooley_womack1]

Two area youths do not quite have the concept of "mooning" down pat yet.

 

[Del_B_Vista]

Rayford Jackson, left, and Johnny Wilson have grown tired of the "boxers or briefs" question. Here they answer it while working on their 1993 Acura Integra on Thursday, August 31, 2006. Both wear boxers. (AP photo/F. Oftha Loom)

 

[Captain_Kirk]

I know I'm breaking thread rules by offering commentary vs caption, but I must offer up that when I was in my younger days, I swore to myself that I would never make fun or find fault in how the youth of the day choose to dress, which considering some of the getups I wore in the mid-late 70s was a pretty wise choice.

Unfortunately, I have just not been able to hold up to my commitment. Jesus H, when did it become fashionably acceptable to have the better part of your underwear showing, shorts basically held up at dong level and landing at mid - ankle. Pull those ****in' pants up!

Signed,
Jaded, middle aged, and apparently fashionably unhip