Driving down south and it might snow ... I'm going to die aren't I?

[dixiehack]

There are many reasons why I left the South, and the Earnhardt wannabes are just one. Oh, you know the type. Skinny guy, but with a huge beer gut, ****ty mustache, racing sunglasses and a No. 3 hat pulled low.

And if you see this:

It's like The Ring. You're as good as dead. That ****er's causing an accident at some point. The same one who passes you on the shoulder of I-65 doing 90 will no doubt try it in the snow and ice.

I saw this and said the same thing I say every time I see it -- Ms. Slappy does the same thing.
"HE'S DEAD. HE'S BEEN DEAD. HE'S STILL DEAD. HE'S NOT COMING BACK" (Is also interchangeable with Bear Bryant.).

On the other hand, if you drive up alongside one of these folks and hold up three fingers, you'll get the same back and then have a ready-made blocker through traffic. Works like a charm, unless you're driving a Ford or an import.

 

[hondo]

Heading down south on my beat, driving this trip as its about five hours and change away.

It could snow on Friday during my return leg to the alma mater. I should be somewhere between Nashville and Louisville when the wintry **** might hit the fan.

Now being from Wisconsin, I have no hang-ups about driving in snow or even ice, though that's much worse. I kind of take a lame-ass perverse pride in it, like my **** is longer because I can drive effortlessly down a drifty interstate. ::)

Having lived in Louisville for a time, however, I know snow is anathema to southern drivers. I expect full-blown weather freak-outs all down the I-65 corridor. Cars sliding left-and-right, Chevy pick-ups with Calvin pissing stickers meeting a yellow snowy end, people driving 30 miles UNDER what they should be driving, sisters ****ing brothers (oh wait, never mind), the whole bit.

It's going to be blood and snow on the highway, and I fear my sorry ass is going out innocent bystander style. Some bull**** is going down -- something like when Mabel from Cave City, Ky. slams on the brakes because she thought she saw a Yeti, and I get collected like it's the Talladega big one.

Sucks being me.

Oh, for the love of God, sac up and quit being a wuss. Good thing Edmund Hillary didn't have your attitude.

 

[Freelance Hack]

Heading down south on my beat, driving this trip as its about five hours and change away.

It could snow on Friday during my return leg to the alma mater. I should be somewhere between Nashville and Louisville when the wintry **** might hit the fan.

Now being from Wisconsin, I have no hang-ups about driving in snow or even ice, though that's much worse. I kind of take a lame-ass perverse pride in it, like my **** is longer because I can drive effortlessly down a drifty interstate. ::)

Having lived in Louisville for a time, however, I know snow is anathema to southern drivers. I expect full-blown weather freak-outs all down the I-65 corridor. Cars sliding left-and-right, Chevy pick-ups with Calvin pissing stickers meeting a yellow snowy end, people driving 30 miles UNDER what they should be driving, sisters ****ing brothers (oh wait, never mind), the whole bit.

It's going to be blood and snow on the highway, and I fear my sorry ass is going out innocent bystander style. Some bull**** is going down -- something like when Mabel from Cave City, Ky. slams on the brakes because she thought she saw a Yeti, and I get collected like it's the Talladega big one.

Sucks being me.

Oh, for the love of God, sac up and quit being a wuss. Good thing Edmund Hillary didn't have your attitude.

Sir Edmund had a pick ax with him and probably several layers of clothing covering his rectum. He would have been safe in rural Kentucky.

It could be worse for Bubbler if he was travelling through Saturday night. The combination of a Louisville BCS berth and a UK blowout loss to North Carolina could cause quite a redneck ruckus. I'd tread carefully if those events occur.

 

[slappy4428]

Sir Edmund had a pick ax with him and probably several layers of clothing covering his rectum. He would have been safe in rural Kentucky.

Your rectum is never safe in rural Kentucky

 

[fmrsped]

Rectum? Hell, damn near killed him!

 

[Fenian_Bastard]

The thread seems to be hydroplaning a bit here.

 

[Chef]

goo on the roadway.

 

[Angola!]

So, did he die?

 

[Chi City 81]

So, did he die?

Who's volunteering to check his supple ass for a pulse?

Boots.

 

[bubbler.exe]

I made it. No incidents. I am now in Whitlockland.

 

[Chi City 81]

I made it. No incidents. I am now in Whitlockland.

You're at a Krispy Kreme factory?

 

[EStreetJoe]

I made it. No incidents. I am now in Whitlockland.

I'm too late. I was going to tell you to just drive straight and let the rednecks clear a path for you by spinning off the road or into the center median, that way you'll know where the icy spots are.

 

[Jones]

I made it. No incidents. I am now in Whitlockland.

You're at a Krispy Kreme factory?

You tee 'em up for the Doc, and he's gonna take a big ol' swing. But I never saw this one coming. Cruel. Also, funny as poop.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

I made it. No incidents. I am now in Whitlockland.

You're at a Krispy Kreme factory?

Hahahahahahaha