Depressing Christmas Songs

[Freelance Hack]

Are there any holiday songs that just make you feel downright depressed, to the point that you'd endure self immolation just to make sure you'd never hear that song again?

For me, there are two songs "Christmas Shoes" and "Dear Mr. Jesus."

Every time I hear either of these songs I do a quick inventory of sharp or pointed objects in my vicinity so I can either slit my wrists or plunge them into my ears.

What songs make you feel blue this holiday season?

 

[newgrad2008]

I love Christmas Shoes, but it definitely makes me cry every time I hear it.

 

[slappy4428]

Christmas Shoes makes my look for an ice pick for my temples, but would remain a favorite of all the old, Christmas sweater wearing grannies mall shopping

 

[Frank_Ridgeway]

The little drummer boy singing about baby Jesus' rump.

 

[Mystery_Meat]

Last Christmas. He gave her his heart! And the very next day, she gave it away! This year, to save him from tears, he's going gay.

 

[Freelance Hack]

Christmas Shoes makes my look for an ice pick for my temples, but would remain a favorite of all the old, Christmas sweater wearing grannies mall shopping

It's bad enough when the guy who sounds like a raspier version of the "Butterfly Kisses" guy sings the song, but when they bring on the kid at the end. That's what really drives me to the edge.

 

[Freelance Hack]

Last Christmas. He gave her heart! And the very next day, she gave it away! This year, to save him from tears, he's going gay.

You know, as I sing the song in my head, I can't recall if they made the song gender specific. So he could have given his heart to guy. And then that's what might have led George to go trolling in park restrooms the next year. He was looking for someone special!

 

[lono]

http://www.amazon.com/Bummed-Out-Christmas-Various-Artists/dp/B0000032QT

End. Of. Thread.

 

[Bubbler]

Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney depresses me because it's the exception to the rule that artists on weed produce better **** than artists who aren't. With the dissonate Moog effects, etc., did they write that song for cheeba-blazed robots?

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth doesn't depress me so much as make me want to go on a tri-state killing spree.

 

[BYH]

Are there any holiday songs that just make you feel downright depressed, to the point that you'd endure self immolation just to make sure you'd never hear that song again?

For me, there are two songs "Christmas Shoes" and "Dear Mr. Jesus."

Thank God I haven't heard that song since I was like 13. I was listening to a top 40 countdown (Scott Shannon, I think) and he plays that song. I'm in the bedroom listening on my clock radio and my sister is in the living room playing Nintendo and listening to the same thing. The singer starts wailing about Jesus and sick sad poor kids and I start ****in bawling. I walk into the living room to clear my head and there's my sister, sitting on the floor, staring at the radio and crying too.

The only song that made me bawl on impact. Haven't heard it since, thank goodness. I'd probably drive off the road to end the misery if I did hear it.

 

[mike311gd]

Relient K - I Hate Christmas Parties

 

[KYSportsWriter]

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer ...

On Christmas eve, no less.

 

[2muchcoffeeman]

http://www.amazon.com/Bummed-Out-Christmas-Various-Artists/dp/B0000032QT

End. Of. Thread.

Track Listings
1. Somebody Stole My Santa Claus Suit - Hicks, D.
2. Christmas Eve Can Kill You - Linde, Dennis
3. Santa Came Home Drunk - Lasley, Clyde
4. Don't Believe in Christmas - Roslie, Gerald
5. Lonely Christmas Call - Jones, George [1]
6. Christmas in Vietnam - Lewis, F.R.
7. Santa Got a DWI - Linton, Sherwin
8. Who Took the Merry Out of Christmas? - Parker, Deanie
9. Who Say There Ain't No Santa Claus - Kuhn
10. Christmas in Jail - Blake
11. Christmas Spirit - Gardner, Ronald
12. Christmas in Prison - Prine, John

Game, set, match ... lono.

 

[albert77]

"Ahuh, ahuh, ahuh, balooooooo Cheristmussss without yoooooooo
I'll have a balooooooo Cheristmussss without yoooooooo,
y'ull be doooooo-wing all riiiiite with yore Cheristmus of white,
but I'll have a bloooo, blue, blue, blue Cheristmus."

 

[Sam Mills 51]

We need to get this thread nuked before Moddy sends this out to the board trolls next year.

 

[2muchcoffeeman]

We need to get this thread nuked before Moddy sends this out to the board trolls next year.

Bite me. I'm downloading already, will burn tonight and have the CDs delivered via Express Mail. ;D

 

[terrier]

Or the Gremies' "Sure Doesn't Feel Like Christmas Time." From a depressing drive from Boston one Christmas in the late '80s.

 

[newgrad2008]

Christmas Shoes makes my look for an ice pick for my temples, but would remain a favorite of all the old, Christmas sweater wearing grannies mall shopping

It's bad enough when the guy who sounds like a raspier version of the "Butterfly Kisses" guy sings the song, but when they bring on the kid at the end. That's what really drives me to the edge.

I'm pretty sure it is the same person who sings both.

 

[KYSportsWriter]

Didn't realize Bob Carlisle did both.

 

[Diabeetus]

Sorry guys, but "Christmas Shoes" is crap