Dating a co-worker

[sportschick]

I dated an ad designer, and it was terribly awkward when we broke up (esp. since one of news copy editors decided to go after him). I can't say it's something I'd recommend. Helps if you don't work in the same department. That way she's not somebody you have to deal with on a daily basis.

 

[93Devil]

Don't **** where you eat.

Unless it is the only guy/girl in the world who you think will ask you out (which I am seriously doubting), listen to Buck.

There was a thread on this a few months ago...

 

[ServeItUp]

I work with a couple who are dating, both on the desk working the same hours. They barely acknowledge each other to a point where you'd never guess they were dating if you hadn't seen them away from the office.

One way to deal with it, I suppose.

 

[markvid]

Talk to Boots' HR people first.

 

[baskethead]

My wife was the newsroom receptionist/editorial assistant when we met. We had lunch together, talked during the day, but realized that we both had work to do and did it, and that our relationship was something for outside of work. It was never an issue if you're able to keep your worlds seperate, which we did.

 

[Hammer Pants]

I would avoid it if possible, but if the person doesn't work in your department, and your paper is big enough, it shouldn't be a big deal IF you're generally a mature person.

 

[outofplace]

I've never done this myself, but I've seen it get VERY ugly with others. I'm talking about people crying in the ME's office and HR getting involved kind of ugly.

Then I think back to my college newspaper days. The summer before my junior year, I was sharing co-sports editor duties with another guy, who was dating a girl in news. Tells her he wants to date her and one of the girls in photography at the same time!

Her response? "Well, what if I dated OOP then?!"

Now forget for a moment that she was very hot in a girl-next-door kinda way and I would have happily let her use me....here I was minding my own business and I got dragged into the dating in the office bull**** without even knowing it!

 

[leo1]

it also depends on how much of a grownup you are. are you mature enough to handle breakups or do you wish death upon all your exes? if the former, you're probably OK. if the latter, stay away.

 

[Norrin Radd]

It's fun to throw around the standby phrases about hooking up with co-workers. And it makes sense to try to avoid bringing personal crap into the workplace.

But . . . . . .

This is a profession where people often speak of how their significant other doesn't always understand why we do what we do. I'm sure there are some here who will now protest that "My wife is totally cool with it!!!!" Good for you. But for every one of those, there are plenty who don't understand why MLB beat jockey has to be on the road for four months of the year and get to the ballpark four-five hours before a game every day when he/she could be spending time with his/her significant other. Or the young married couple where the journalist is a preps writer and the significant other is in a job making double what the journalist makes for working fewer hours. And it is asked: "Why the hell do you make the commitment that you make?"

(Not from my personal experience, but from that of friends)

Seems dating other journalists isn't something to dismiss out of hand, since they "get" the hours and pay situation. What we do is unique, in many ways. Still wise to tread carefully, of course.

 

[bigpern23]

I dated a co-worker once. She wouldn't let me do her on the stacks in the basement. It was all downhill from there.

What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic.

 

[RedHotChiliPrepper]

Seems dating other journalists isn't something to dismiss out of hand, since they "get" the hours and pay situation. What we do is unique, in many ways. Still wise to tread carefully, of course.

I actually dated one of our part-timers (I'm 24, she's 22) who sat in the desk right next to mine three days a week. Over the course of about eight months we became really good friends. WE decided to give it a whirl and worked together for about another six months before she graduated from college and moved back home where she got a full-time job.

I heard a lot of people tell me to be careful about potential for a break up and how that would affect things at work. But I thought that because we had a really good friendship before hand that it was a good chance to take. We've been dating for almost nine months now and even though we're living about two hours apart, it's been the best decision I've ever made.

All it takes is knowing how to be professional at work. We used to eat dinner together every night we were there together and it was all a matter of knowing when we could and couldn't act like we were dating. The other guys we worked with would tease us every once in a while, but it was all in fun.

 

[Bucknutty]

I did not date one of my editors in college (I was e-i-c) and to this day regret it. If she's there and you care about her, do it, man. If it doesn't work, at least you tried. Above all, be professional...not that that hasn't been stated 100 times already in this thread.

 

[Mystery_Meat]

Never penetrate a co-worker's vagina with your penis.

 

[Breakyoself]

so stick to oral and anal?

 

[mannheimadler]

I'm currently engaged to a coworker. We are getting married in October.

The keys for us were:

1. We were not in the same department. In fact, we were not even in the same bureau. I worked in a bureau 50 miles away and we only worked in the same place at most once a week.
2. We didn't tell anybody. The way journalists are, the gossip thing is terrible. Keep it between the two of you until you are sure.
3. We kept it out of the office. We don't discuss things even now if we can help it. We try our best to limit our talking when we're in the office at the same time.
4. We didn't rush to anything. We knew each other for over a year before we even went out. We were already friends and could spend hours talking to each other after shifts were over.

The point is, that nobody understands a journalist except a journalist. She always understands when I have to cancel a date for breaking news.

But you shouldn't put your career at risk. If you limit your at-work contact and keep it quiet and resolve to be adults if a fallout happens, then there really isn't anything wrong with it.

 

[micropolitan guy]

Have done so twice, at my previous newspaper, a lifetime ago.

No. 1, she was an advertising. After 8 months, it did not end well.

No. 2, a news reporter, we were back-and-forth for about 2 years, not exclusive dating, then I moved away. She remains my most trusted female friend in the entire world (outside of Mrs. Micro) and I would never/have very rarely make/made an important move in my life without consultig her (yes, even if I should get married. She was married at that time too).

So it can work. It can not work. Same as dating anyone in any field.

 

[DanOregon]

I've worked with co-workers who've hooked up and gotten married, and others that broke up. I think its best if there is some separation in duties so the relationship doesn't interfere with work and vice-versa.

 

[HejiraHenry]

I ought to have more to add to this.

I'm in a two-newspaper marriage and it helps that I'm in sports and she's not.

(We met at the college paper many, many moons ago.)

Caution is wisely advised -- but hell, that's good advice for any budding relationship, no matter the details.

 

[SCEditor]

All great success stories. But it goes the other way too.

Back when I went crazy and worked news for a year and a half, I dated a fellow news designer/copy editor. We dated for seven months, and I knew it wasn't going to work after about four months, but I feared breaking up with her because of how it would be in the newsroom. I was job hunting like crazy, but I couldn't find anything I really wanted to do until a job in my hometown showed potential of hiring me. But about three months before I got the job, we had a big blowup and broke up. The next three months were the worst three months of my life. I was working with somebody who would start crying randomly at her desk if I uttered a word. The ME, who had the hots for her, treated me like **** for three months. I spent a lot of time after work drinking off the stress. The big key is to take it slowly. If it doesn't work out, you need to find out if you both can handle working in the same building after a breakup. If I had taken my time to get to know her more, I would have realized what life would have been like had we broken up. Instead, I jumped right into the relationship and then realized halfway through that a breakup would be catastrophic. And I had no idea how much I was lowballing it.

 

[novelist_wannabe]

I'd advise against it, but it's something of a dilemma in any line of work, because the people we spend the majority of our waking hours with are coworkers. It's only natural that relationships would develop.